The financial implications of moving in together

onlyroz

One suggestion is to figure out the following amounts:


1) Total outgoings required for both properties, including mortgage and household bills, maintenance costs etc.
2) Your total income, including rental income
3) His total income


Divide 2 by 3 to determine your income as a fraction of his. Use this fraction to determine how much of 1 you both should be paying.

Oompa

onlyroz wrote: »

One suggestion is to figure out the following amounts:


1) Total outgoings required for both properties, including mortgage and household bills, maintenance costs etc.
2) Your total income, including rental income
3) His total income


Divide 2 by 3 to determine your income as a fraction of his. Use this fraction to determine how much of 1 you both should be paying.

Exactly what I needed. Thanks for that!

justme111

This would be more involved way to deal with it than I suggested (paying him half of what you are better off due to living at his). It is good. But for resentment not appear both of you would have to be approving of the ways you live ..

David301

Live apart?

Beckyy

Could you not contribute an amount equivalent to your income?

Bear in mind being a LL isn't cheap. You'll have tax, insurance, gas safe certificates and other checks as applicable, repairs/maintenance and any voids to cough up for. The rent you receive each month will be no where near what will be 'income' from it. It's worth thinking about what would happen if you had a void for a few months and your income dropped dramatically or you had a lot of damage to pay for.

pollyanna24

Guest101 wrote: »

Oh sorry you're another one of those, I'd like to be married, but not the real married, the one without the legally binding commitment. I just want pretty pictures and a ring to wear.


Crying out loud.


You either get married or you don't. It's not a blooming pick n mix.


- What's mine is mine, what's yours is ours comes to mind.

And it's exactly because of the above I can never see myself getting married.

After being dumped by an ex penniless with two kids after 11 years, the equity I now have in my property if I ever do sell is for my kids, not for anybody else to come and take.

I thought that my relationship with my ex was for keeps, clearly it wasn't, but I don't want to find myself in a position with having to give half my equity away if I meet somebody and they have nothing to bring to the table.

FBaby

The reality is that either you share, or you don't at all. What you don't do is pick and choose as you seem to want to do. If you want to protect your assets, then agree from the start that you will never marry. Then agree that each is entitled to their own properties only, and you pay half of all bills and a nominal amount for rent to make up for the rental you'll get.

Then he does what he wants with his income and you do what you want with yours. That means that if he has more disposable income than you and can afford to go away with his friends to a holiday you would love to go to but can't afford, then you accept that it is too bad that you have to stay home whilst he goes and has his fun because after all, it is his right to protect his monthly income, why should he share any of it with you?

justme111

..or he may want her company on holidays and pay for her with his money. Or is there any rule book that forbids it ? The same one that says "you either share it all or don't share anything "?Plenty of people live with separate budgets and dare I say percentage of happy ones amongst them is no less than amongst those that have it all pulled into one pot.

FBaby

OP doesn't want to share. She wants to make sure that what is hers remains hers, so what I tried to portray is that he could take the same attitude. Her assets are hers, his income is his and if he did use it for his benefit only, she wouldn't be able to complain about it.

The reality is that when two people with assets and separate income decide to move in together, it's almost inevitable that one will be risking to lose out more financially then the other if things go wrong. You either need to accept it, or you need to make one's position that they are not prepared to take that risk from the start.

In my case, my OH had more to lose than I. Not just that but he already had lost once, but he went with it because he loved me deeply and considered that I was worth taking that risk (after taking appropriate time to get to know each other well). If he had acted like OP, something of the love I felt would have died, not because I saw him as a ticket for a financial gain, but because to me, when you pick one person to commit to, you accept the risk. The fact that he thought I was worth it gave me that assurance that he was truly committed to me forever, and that's why I agree to marry him, not for his assets or income.

And of course, you never know what can happen in a marriage. As much as in theory, I could cheat on him, run away, and then claim 50% of his assets, he could also have an accident, become severely disabled and need someone to look after him in every way. That person would be me, because I am indeed committed fully for the better or the worse.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

The reality is that either you share, or you don't at all. What you don't do is pick and choose as you seem to want to do.

I think its ok to 'not share at all' when a relationship is in its early stages and you're just testing the water. It wouldn't make sense to me to go all in on fully shared finances when you're just moving in together for the first time.

I'd set a time period of say, 12-18 months. That's long enough to have a reasonable idea if things will work out long term (its certainly long enough to know if you can't stand living under the same roof!) and at that point you can re-assess and look to merge finances so that things are fairer.

I completely agree with you that committed loving couple don't have wildly differing lifestyles because one earns more, but at this stage they aren't a fully committed couple yet. Its ok to make it easy to back out and go back to the previous position when you don't know yet if its going to work at all.