No children at wedding

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

For lots of couples it is about two families joining together, I went to a wedding yesterday that was very much on that theme and it was lovely. I've also been to weddings that are very low key adult only events focusing just on the couple and they've usually been very nice too. Both are perfectly valid ways to view the occasion.

Why do people get so dogmatic and competitive when it comes to weddings?

I agree 100% with this.

It all depends on the relationships between the bride/groom and their families.

We recently attended a wedding (not family) and it was clear that both sets of families had pretty close relationships - a number had travelled up from the South for the event.
We spoke to one guest and they were a pretty remote relation (in my mind at least) to the bride - I wouldn't even have known the name of the person who was related to me in the same way, let alone bothered to travel 200 miles for a wedding.

Neither me or OH have close relationships with our families, I recently met the grown-up children of my first cousins for the first time ever at a family funeral.

So I can see how some people want to invite cousins, second cousins etc and others don't.

It's really the OP and his bride's call whether they invite children or not.
But they shouldn't really complain if invited guests decline because their children aren't invited.

sheramber

tatabubbly wrote: »

Yip, niece was youngest child there and her mother didn't want to take her out as she'd miss our vows :mad::mad:

What could I do? Stop the service in the middle of our wedding vows and be like 'I love my niece very much but please take her outside'..

There was literally one entrance and one exit. Niece had toys got specially for her as well for service - we had 2 kids under 5 at our wedding and was well catered for. I'd never take a child to a wedding - unless in the bridal party and needs to attend.

Not a wedding but when a child was making a noise during a church service the minister did stop and ask the parent of the child to take them out. He waited until they had done so before carrying on.

There was a creche provided for children under Sunday school age during the service.

tatabubbly

sheramber wrote: »

Not a wedding but when a child was making a noise during a church service the minister did stop and ask the parent of the child to take them out. He waited until they had done so before carrying on.

There was a creche provided for children under Sunday school age during the service.

Unfortunately we don't have a Sunday school or crèche service - I think if more churches did there would probably be less hassle.. If you choose a church wedding that is - I'm assuming the same problem would happen in a registry office etc.

BarryBlue

tatabubbly wrote: »

Yip, niece was youngest child there and her mother didn't want to take her out as she'd miss our vows :mad::mad:

What could I do? Stop the service in the middle of our wedding vows and be like 'I love my niece very much but please take her outside'..

There was literally one entrance and one exit. Niece had toys got specially for her as well for service - we had 2 kids under 5 at our wedding and was well catered for. I'd never take a child to a wedding - unless in the bridal party and needs to attend.

That has reminded me of a wedding we attended many years ago. There was a family there, whom we knew, with their notoriously badly behaved three brats. During the wedding vows bit the youngest of said brats decided to scream the place down. The mother made no attempt to do anything about it. The groom's mother got up from her seat, walked back to them, and said in a stage whisper 'Will you take that child outside now!'

The bride and groom were furious afterwards. It turned out that only the actual couple had been invited to the whole day but had arrived with granny in tow for the wedding part with all the kids, with the intention of her taking them home before the meal and speeches. Their rule for the day had been 'family kids only', of which there were about 3, specifically because they knew these brats would play up if they were there.

tatabubbly

I'm only married less than a year so not my wedding

In all honesty, most kids hate weddings anyways. They are long, boring, usually have a long down period during the day. I'm sure given the choice they'd rather spend a day at legoland or something equivalent

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

Did you take steps to mitigate this, for example by asking the ushers to seat parents with babies and toddlers on the aisle seats, and indicating to them which exits could be used if the child needed a break during the ceremony?

Blimey - you just get up and get out. It's not difficult to use your initiative and exit a church. To stay in a church with a crying / boisterous child is just beyond me. Tou don't need an usher to tell you what to do - you just stand up and go outside with your child.

Which exits? It's not an aeroplane.

Mean, thoughtless parents who spoil the day. And put their children first when it's absolutely nothing to do with their children.

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

Blimey - you just get up and get out. It's not difficult to use your initiative and exit a church. To stay in a church with a crying / boisterous child is just beyond me. Tou don't need an usher to tell you what to do - you just stand up and go outside with your child.

You can take pre-emptive action though, by seating them by the aisle and telling them explicitly before hand that it's fine to take them outside. At the last wedding I attended the registrar pointed out the door at the back of the room and said it was fine for people to pop out if they needed to. If you've got a screaming baby and you're seated right in the middle of a row, and you're not sure which of the big doors will open quietly then what are you going to do?

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

You can take pre-emptive action though, by seating them by the aisle and telling them explicitly before hand that it's fine to take them outside. At the last wedding I attended the registrar pointed out the door at the back of the room and said it was fine for people to pop out if they needed to. If you've got a screaming baby and you're seated right in the middle of a row, and you're not sure which of the big doors will open quietly then what are you going to do?

You yourself take pre-emptive action as a parent. You don't sit in the middle of a row. You stand or sit at the back / side. If you've got a screaming baby the last thing you need to worry about is whether the doirs will squeak. You just need to get out.

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

You yourself take pre-emptive action as a parent. You don't sit in the middle of a row. You stand or sit at the back / side. If you've got a screaming baby the last thing you need to worry about is whether the doirs will squeak. You just need to get out.

Of course most parents would do exactly this. But some need a little prod in the right direction.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

Of course most parents would do exactly this. But some need a little prod in the right direction.

But that's exactly the problem surely and one of the reasons children aren't invited. A bride and groom don't want the hassle of prodding thoughtless parents.