No children at wedding

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But if people say they won't go to a wedding without their children, does that mean they will never go anywhere without them? If they would, then what is the difference? Genuine question.

You seriously can't see the difference between finding childcare for 10-15 hours, including late into the evening, and finding childcare for just a few hours? And you can't see why a parent might be reluctant to be separated from a small child (possibly a breast-feeding infant) for so long? Or why people might feel a bit put out that their child wasn't welcome at the wedding of a close relative?

onlyroz

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

But maybe the children are NOT the 'nearest and dearest' of the bride and groom. They may never even have met them. If they invite them, there may not be any room for people they would like to be there.

I had 20 people at my wedding (more to the evening reception). One of the guests was the partner of a childhood friend who at that point I had only met once. My mum asked "What on earth is he coming for?" Did she expect me to make him stand outside? Sure, I didn't know him but he was important to my friend and so he was very welcome.

We had to be very selective over which 20 people to invite, but I wouldn't have dreamed of splitting up family units.

warehouse

Gavin83 wrote: »

I've been to child free weddings, I've been to weddings where the kids have been fine and others where they've literally ruined the day. However I can't say I've been to a single wedding where I feel they've really enhanced the day.

Bingo. Best answer in 13 pages of this.

Andrew_Ryan_89

Claire_A87 wrote: »

Ah you see for me it's not that I definitely wouldn't go to the wedding without my son, I actually would have done if I had OH's parents to look after him. I suppose to theorise for other couples, weddings are quite family orientated (I know there's been a debate about this earlier in the thread), and to not attend without members of your immediate family can feel wrong. Obviously I can't speak on behalf of all parents, but weddings tend to have an inclusive celebratory feel, and to not share that with all your nearest and dearest is a deal breaker for some people. Other outings don't have the same resonance with 'family' and 'togetherness' so leaving the kids behind doesn't feel as inherently wrong. Eugh, I've definitely not articulated myself at all well there, but hopefully you can see what I was aiming at.

I have cousins who I have not spoken to in ages. Do not know what they are doing in life, whether they have children or how many, own property, where they live and so on. I am inviting them anyway. My cousins children though, most of them I do not know and they definitely don't know me. The reason I am saying people are showing their true colors is that the responses I have had so far, I have received a lot of attitude. More than just attitude, borderline disgust that I never included their children.

I don't have a relationship with their children and it's literally the same as why my friends that I have invited are not bringing their children or even partners (unless given a plus 1).

I don't see what the big deal is. If it was a birthday party or a rave, they would be quick to find a baby sitter or leave their children with their partners. But a wedding? For some reason that can't be done!

Person_one

You really should invite partners, especially if they are married, engaged or living together.

Watch out for groomzilla tendencies, they can sneak up on you.

POPPYOSCAR

There is no problem about not having children if that is what you both want.


But to denigrate people for not going because of this is not acceptable.

Torry_Quine

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

I have cousins who I have not spoken to in ages. Do not know what they are doing in life, whether they have children or how many, own property, where they live and so on. I am inviting them anyway. My cousins children though, most of them I do not know and they definitely don't know me. The reason I am saying people are showing their true colors is that the responses I have had so far, I have received a lot of attitude. More than just attitude, borderline disgust that I never included their children.

I don't have a relationship with their children and it's literally the same as why my friends that I have invited are not bringing their children or even partners (unless given a plus 1).

I don't see what the big deal is. If it was a birthday party or a rave, they would be quick to find a baby sitter or leave their children with their partners. But a wedding? For some reason that can't be done!

A birthday party is just a few hours though and not from early afternoon to midnight for instance and as said the normal baby sitters may be invited as well.

It seems strange to me to invite people who you don't even know where they live so can't have much of a relationship with. How did you invite them?

I don't understand why a spouse/partner isn't invited to a wedding, other than maybe a work group.

onlyroz

Andrew_Ryan_89 wrote: »

I have cousins who I have not spoken to in ages. Do not know what they are doing in life, whether they have children or how many, own property, where they live and so on. I am inviting them anyway. My cousins children though, most of them I do not know and they definitely don't know me. The reason I am saying people are showing their true colors is that the responses I have had so far, I have received a lot of attitude. More than just attitude, borderline disgust that I never included their children.

I don't have a relationship with their children and it's literally the same as why my friends that I have invited are not bringing their children or even partners (unless given a plus 1).

I don't see what the big deal is. If it was a birthday party or a rave, they would be quick to find a baby sitter or leave their children with their partners. But a wedding? For some reason that can't be done!

I don't really get why you would invite cousins that you haven't seen in years, people whom you have no idea what they've been up to or whether they have partners or kids of their own.

If the guest list is so tight surely you could exclude these people and then have space for more people who you are actually close to? But each to their own I guess...

seven-day-weekend

onlyroz wrote: »

I had 20 people at my wedding (more to the evening reception). One of the guests was the partner of a childhood friend who at that point I had only met once. My mum asked "What on earth is he coming for?" Did she expect me to make him stand outside? Sure, I didn't know him but he was important to my friend and so he was very welcome.

We had to be very selective over which 20 people to invite, but I wouldn't have dreamed of splitting up family units.

A partner is a different matter to children.

seven-day-weekend

onlyroz wrote: »

You seriously can't see the difference between finding childcare for 10-15 hours, including late into the evening, and finding childcare for just a few hours? And you can't see why a parent might be reluctant to be separated from a small child (possibly a breast-feeding infant) for so long? Or why people might feel a bit put out that their child wasn't welcome at the wedding of a close relative?

The first two are not what I was talking about. It's the people who are mortally offended if their children are not invited I was posing the question to.