How to handle this one re workmen?

C_Mababejive

I have been in and out of peoples homes for decades in the course of my work. Believe me, in all that time, there is nothing much i havent seen and to be honest, i am not interested. I just go ,conduct my business and leave and thats the end of it.

We mustnt assume that someone is rooting in your knicker drawer or similar but all the same, i think its always wise to ask if you need to use someones facilities.

TBagpuss

I agree that in this situation he should have asked you if he needed to go upstairs.
I would have challenged him at the time - but as you didn;t, I think that speaking to him the next day to say "I heard you moving about in the bedroom yesterday - why were you in that room? There wasn't anything which needed doing upstairs"

I've had a *lot*of workmen in my house in the last year as I've had a lot of work done. I did make sure that I showed them where the downstairs loo was, as I'd prefer they used that than go upstairs.

I found most of them would ask, specifically, about where they could go and what they could use - the builders even asked me whether I wanted them to bring their own kettle or if was OK for them to use mine.

I think it is possible that he was checking for an en suite but I don't think that was OK. with the jobs your asked him to do both being downstairs, and you and you dad in the house, there was no excuse for him to go wondering off upstairs. He could, and should, have asked you for whatever it was he wanted.

Mojisola

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't expect an adult to have to ask to go to the loo - I always tell workers in the house where the loo is so that they know they can use it as needed.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

It good manners and common courtesy IMO to ask first. I would expect any vistor (that wasn't friends or family) to ask first and would find it rude if they didn't.

You only quoted half of the sentence - people don't need to ask permission if you've already told them where the loo is and that they can use it if needed.

Georgiegirl256

Mojisola wrote: »

You only quoted half of the sentence - people don't need to ask permission if you've already told them where the loo is and that they can use it if needed.

I deliberately didn't quote it, as I wouldn't even mention it to workmen etc in the first place, unless it was a big job that they'd be there all day/week/month for.

Most people's houses aren't exactly mansions, the bathroom usually (not always of course) is at the top of the stairs, and not exactly hard to find. If they wanted to use the bathroom, then I'd expect them to ask.

KiKi

Don't forget that depending on the layout of your house, floorboards can run across different rooms and therefore you hear the creaks even when someone's in another room.

Perhaps he realised the loo had no door and hoped you had an ensuite.

Rude to go into your bedroom (if he did)? Yes.

Otherwise a total overreaction and I doubt it'll happen again.

KiKi

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

If they wanted to use the bathroom, then I'd expect them to ask.

Do you mean you'd expect them to ask where it is? Not for permission surely?

Georgiegirl256

Person_one wrote: »

Do you mean you'd expect them to ask where it is? Not for permission surely?

Yes, for permission.

If I'm in someone else's house I always ask if I can use their loo, I just think it's good manners, I think it's rude just to get up and wander round someone's house.

Person_one

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes, for permission.

If I'm in someone else's house I always ask if I can use their loo, I just think it's good manners, I think it's rude just to get up and wander round someone's house.

You'd never actually deny somebody permission though, would you?

miss_independent

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Yes, for permission.

If I'm in someone else's house I always ask if I can use their loo, I just think it's good manners, I think it's rude just to get up and wander round someone's house.

I completely agree with you, GeorgieGirl.

missbiggles1

miss_independent wrote: »

Ok. I have not long moved in here. The bathroom wasn't "dirty" but as I have said on here in the past I suffer from OCD so it wasn't spotless to the point that I am comfortable letting people see. For me to let people see my home, because of my OCD, I have to have it completely immaculate. The way my downstairs was, in preparation for them being here. As I have said, I left the house at 7.30am not thinking anyone was coming this afternoon. They had been a no show on Friday. They called me 25 minutes before they arrived and I had to drive home from town (15/20 minutes). So I had five minutes by the time I got here and the first thing I did was fill up the kettle to hit drinks ready for them coming.

Someone referred to dirty pants - i would never leave dirty knickers lying around. I hand wash them immediately before putting them in the laundry bin. There was, however, one bra on the floor and tampons/sanitary towels on the side of the bath. I live alone so had no reason to believe anyone would see that except me.

I have a downstairs bathroom. That was out of use for all of 5 minutes.

I am not accusing him of anything other than being nosey but I still think that is extremely rude behaviour.


I will take people's point that perhaps my reaction isn't justified. I was just shocked that a stranger would take it upon himself to wander around upstairs, or to go upstairs to use a different bathroom without asking.

That certainly explains your reaction but it does lead me to think that it's your problem, not theirs.