How to handle this one re workmen?

miss_independent

I needed an electrician to come round and do a couple of odd jobs, one in downstairs loo, one in the kitchen.

Upstairs is in a big mess, due to moving and also having stuff from my late Gran's house clear out upstairs until I find a home for it or bin it. I'd be embarrassed for anyone to see it in its current state.

The electrician has done work for my family in the past but not for me. He turned up with a young lad and I kept out of the way. The jobs would have taken 30 minutes tops. My parents had randomly popped round before he arrived , I'm guessing because my Dad likes to make sure I have a male presence around when I have workers in, so they don't take advantage.

Anyway, Mum and I were talking in the lounge and I could hear someone working downstairs so assumed all was ok. I had thought I'd heard footsteps on the bottom step about 10 minutes before but thought I was imagining things because...why would they need to be on the stairs? Anyway, I distinctly heard footsteps above me in my bedroom, towards the front of the room (I.e a considerable distance from the door to my bedroom!) and said to Mum, "Is Dad upstairs?". She went to look for him (he was in the kitchen) and I went to look to see where the electrician and young lad were. The young lad was there but the electrician wasn't. The young lad said he had gone upstairs to use the bathroom.

In total, he must have been upstairs for a good 15 minutes. I could hear the water running in the bathroom for a very long time. He never asked to use the toilet which I am fuming about. He just headed upstairs. I had my dirty washing lying upstairs and hadn't checked how clean the loo was etc. I feel like my privacy was invaded. I feel like he was snooping around up there. When he came downstairs and saw me there looking angry he was bright red in the face.

Had he asked me, I would have nipped upstairs, done a quick scan of the bathroom /toilet and locked the bedroom doors etc. Dad was reluctant for me to say anything as he has hired him to do work for years. Am I being unreasonable feeling that he should really have asked to use the loo before he started wandering around the upstairs of my home?

He's booked to come back on Wednesday but to be completely honest I'm not happy about that now.

Rev

Yes and no. That's a bit of a big rigmarole for someone wanting to use the loo. I mean the bit where you said had he asked you would have gone upstairs and had a check then locked the bedroom doors. Why? Nobody gives that much of a toss what someone's house is like that the bedroom doors need locking and you need to 'check' around first. He's using the loo, not deciding if he wants to move in.

But yes he should have said a quick 'mind if I use the loo'.

Your response seems way over the top to me. Your 'fuming' because someone used your toilet. You've no proof he nosed around other than the fact you think you may have heard footsteps (which you said yourself you thought you imagined).

The fact that had he asked you'd have wanted to go upstairs and lock the bedroom doors first is also over the top. Why would you need to do that?

Perhaps you should have done this super important check around and bedroom door locking before they arrived just in case they needed the toilet.

Flyonthewall

If the guy saw you looking angry and went red he may well be embarrassed and I doubt he'll do it again.

It's possible he glanced in other rooms to find the bathroom, but if the water was running for ages I'd say he was probably in the bathroom the whole time and using the sound of water to cover up other sounds. He may not have been doing anything wrong, which would explain him going red.

The better thing would have been to say something at the time to him. Politely but make it clear you didn't feel comfortable with him just going up.

If they're coming back just make sure to tidy up and lock the doors like you would have done before when he'd asked so there's no issue.

missbiggles1

Was the downstairs loo usable at the time this happened?

Flyonthewall

miss_independent wrote: »

I needed an electrician to come round and do a couple of odd jobs, one in downstairs loo, one in the kitchen.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Was the downstairs loo usable at the time this happened?

If they were working in the downstairs loo he may not have wanted to go there, especially if he was 15 minutes in there. Would have been a bit awkward unless they'd both moved onto the kitchen by that point.

Even then, if he did run water to cover the sound and everyone else was downstairs maybe he felt more comfortable being a bit further away.

miss_independent

Ok...I understand what you are saying. Just to clarify myself and mum, without questions heard footsteps on the creaky floorboards in my bedroom (room directly above the lounge where we were sitting) - the front of my bedroom, not a case of peeking the head round the door. He was in the room, walking around. The bathroom door is right next to the stairs and you can see the sink facing you, clear as day, as you come up the stairs - it's the first thing you see as you get to the top of the landing. He didn't have any need to be wandering around in the rooms and he undoubtedly was in my bedroom - a good 8 paces from the door (the creaky floorboard that we heard clear as anything is at my dressing table, by the window).

It's embarrassment and feeling like my privacy has been invaded which is the worst of it. My bra was lying on the floor and it's my totm so I had (clean) sanitary items on the side of the bath ready for me just to grab. I'm sure most women would feel better knowing workmen hadn't seen that kind of thing so it would have been nice to have been given the chance to clear that up. I also don't feel easy about the fact he was in my bedroom.

I wouldn't dream of wandering through someone's house but perhaps I'm in the minority.

miss_independent

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Was the downstairs loo usable at the time this happened?

Yes. But even if it wasn't I would think it was common courtesy to ask. The job in the downstairs loo was just replacing a light fitting, it took 5 minutes.





Re the water running etc comments people have made; maybe again, it's just me, but if you are coming to do jobs which in total take less than half an hour, I'd think you would be able to wait to go to the loo. It's not like he was here all day which was why I wasn't prepared for them using the upstairs toilet. The toilet seat was up, which I would have thought meant he had been for a wee. A 15 minute wee seems a bit odd to me.

warehouse

miss_independent wrote: »

I'm sure most women would feel better knowing workmen hadn't seen that kind of thing so it would have been nice to have been given the chance to clear that up.

You did, the whole time before they turned up, was it days or hours? Your complete over-reaction leads me to think you're over exaggerating what actually happened as well.

pigpen

Why would a box of sanitary towels/tampons be an issue ?? Periods arent a secret.. men know we have them!! they also have seen bras before. I couldn't actually care less if someone working in my house saw sanitary products in the bathroom or discarded undies.

He probably needed a great steaming turd and didnt want to stink your house out.

He should have mentioned but was maybe a bit over familiar if he has done work for your parents before. Just shut doors and stuff before he is next due to come. Did he not mention needing the loo to your dad if he was in the kitchen with them?

Why had you not considered they might need to use the loo upstairs in advance if they were working in the downstairs loo? Surely you didn't expect them to not go all day?

It seems to be a little lack of foresight from you and a little over familiarity from him.. but a learning experience for you..

miss_independent

warehouse wrote: »

You did, the whole time before they turned up, was it days or hours? Your complete over-reaction leads me to think you're over exaggerating what actually happened as well.

I'm not over exaggerating what happened.

They were supposed to come on Friday but didn't show. I left the house at 7.30 am this morning not knowing anyone was coming today. Got a phonecall at 4 to say could they come round at half past. Wanted it sorted asap as the light in the downstairs bathroom has been out of order for a week now and it's also the only place I can have a shower (upstairs is currently bathtub only) and I don't like showering in the dark. Dashed home with ten minutes to spare. Never imagined they would need to be upstairs. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Mojisola

miss_independent wrote: »

Am I being unreasonable feeling that he should really have asked to use the loo before he started wandering around the upstairs of my home?

I don't expect an adult to have to ask to go to the loo - I always tell workers in the house where the loo is so that they know they can use it as needed.

If you have things around that you don't want someone else to see, put them away before they arrive.