Government petition to make the parent receiving child maintenance provide receipts

Guest101

Teah1984 wrote: »

I'm not arguing or disputing what they spend their own money on whether that be earned or benefits. My point is child maintenance is for the child/children and should not be used for anything other than benefitting the child. It's like going to work and your boss saying "I've took £20 off your wages this week so I can have a drink" no that would be unacceptable as that's your money just as in child maintenance is the "child's" money to be used to benefit them!!

Jesus, do some basic maths!


(this is why I asked how much you paid!)


If you pay £1000 and their expenses are £1500, they are using all £1000 on the children. As the children will benefit from household expenses.


If you pay £2000 and they have £500 'left over' and they blow all of that + benefits + wages on booze, cigerettes and nights out - then you have a small point. But I doubt that's the case.

missbiggles1

Teah1984 wrote: »

yes the money I pay in child maintenance is enough to have my children clothed, fed, a roof over their heads, Sky, gas, electric even days out. All I am saying is that the money that is paid should directly benefit the children. In my own case the expenditure is broken down as the rp does not work therefore pays very little rent council tax etc and also lives with her partner who works full time who again I get on with amicably. My point is that child maintenance should directly benefit the children involved

So, which of the things you've listed (or anything else) are your children going without?

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

So, which of the things you've listed (or anything else) are your children going without?

They're not I don't think.


I think he's annoyed that basically his ex has a social life.


Either by virtue of him being an extremely high earner.
Or by virtue of having a new partner.

missbiggles1

Teah1984 wrote: »

If I was giving the opportunity to have my children on a permanent basis I would not hesitate for a second. I fully understand how much financially it costs to cloth, feed etc a child/children. I have one question! Do you believe that it is ok for child maintenance to be spent on funding a rp's social life without the children's involvement? My point in the grand scheme of things is that as long as child maintenance is being spent on something that is directly benefiting the child/children then there is no problem but when it is not being spent on the child/children that's when something needs to be done!

And, if that were to be the case, how would you prove to their mother that any maintenance she gave you was being paid directly to benefit the children? Genuine question.

Teah1984

It really has nothing to do with my ex having a personal life, social life whatever as I've said previously me and my ex are amicable and also myself and her partner are amicable this really has nothing to do with them. I'll give you examples of things that have been brought to my attention in my own personal case that made me question what the maintenance was being spent on

Teah1984

If I had my children permanently I would have no hesitation in showing her what I had spent the maintenance money she was paying on whether that be clothes,shoes,etc but that's because 100% of the money I received would be getting spent on the children and not my social life.

NYM

Teah1984 wrote: »

I do understand the point people are making about how it would be near on impossible to implement giving the fact that so many details would have to recorded and in hindsight receipts would probably not work

No 'probably' about it. It just won't work.

Teah1984 wrote: »

... ...also as a couple of people have mentioned certain nrp would see it as an opportunity to control(although as I said this would never be acceptable in any situation)...

Yes, it is controlling.

Teah1984 wrote: »

..The only thing and I am probably repeating myself is I believe that 100% of child maintenance should be spent on the child/children in question or directly benefit them and not be spent on things that do not benefit the child/children.

Many have already explained to you that providing a home, food, warmth, clothing etc., IS directly benefiting the child/children.
Unless the household has NO other income then you can't demand that the 'other' income shouldn't be spent on socialising.

Guest101

Teah1984 wrote: »

It really has nothing to do with my ex having a personal life, social life whatever as I've said previously me and my ex are amicable and also myself and her partner are amicable this really has nothing to do with them. I'll give you examples of things that have been brought to my attention in my own personal case that made me question what the maintenance was being spent on

1) I was asked by my ex partner for £200 for coats for my children. I said I would take them to get the coats as I had them that weekend in anycase but she was adamant that she had to get them. The money was handed over to her on a Friday and I am yet to see the new coats but the next week when she dropped my children off her car was sporting a brand new paint job. - a paint job costs a lot more than £200. In the future, just buy it yourself.

2) I like my nana and dad give my children money for their birthday as well as a small present as they like to buy their own things now. Each one of my children after receiving £80 each(of the three of us) has yet to see or spend their birthday money as "mam borrowed it". When asked about this I was told it was none of my business. - So lesson learnt. Keep the money and let them spend it when with you.

3) since before Christmas when my children come to stay at mine they have arrived in the same clothes and shoes not one thing has changed. When asked could she maybe send their football strips across as a spare(I have clothes at mine by the way but mostly smart so limited sports wise) I was told they didn't have them anymore I only bought them 3 months prior to this conversation. - So? Stop buying things for them to use at hers. lesson learnt

4) when I have directly asked her if what she is getting in maintenance is enough(yes I asked because I'd rather my children had everything they need) I was greated with what was either a crass joke or the actual truth "keeps me ok" - Great.

In my eyes I pay maintenance to feed,cloth etc my children under no circumstances is it nor will it ever be acceptable for a rp whether that be mother or father to use that money for their own entertainment that does not benefit the children

3 choices:


1: pay the minimum, top up the rest with things for when they are with you
2: report to social services
3: petition a court for custody (which isn't called custody, but is the best description)

Teah1984

Your completely right it wouldn't work and there is no justification in any person being controlled by another(this was certainly not intended to be a justification of control of another person nor was it ever about control). A majority of rp's will use child maintenance in the way it was intended to be used for the children however there will still be a majority who use it as their "weekend fund". I have taken onboard everyone's points during this discussion and agree that this would never work. All I want to see is nrp who pay child maintenance actually seeing a benefit for their children.

Teah1984

I don't want to stop my children from having the freedom of taking toys, clothes etc between houses because that would be detrimental to them. I have been to court and was granted weekend access my ex partner received custody. I couldn't stop paying maintenance because again that would be detrimental to my children. All I want is to see the maintenance benefitting my children!!