New here and really need to sort myself out(please move if in wrong place)

Tiddlywinks

But this isn't about anyone else and their spending - it's just about you. I still don't think you have really *got* it.

I think this thread and your bits of 'using it up' make you feel like you are doing something yet, in reality, you are still justifying the huge phone and tablet spends and new coat (because you wanted it), outfit, brows and nails for the Christening etc.

I think your 'light bulb moment' still hasn't really arrived.

gemmajenkins0208

Probably not Tiddlywinks, but if it's small changes that help me along so to speak then that's fine by me.

Personally I feel that it's the little spends that add up, like yesterday I had to get some cotton buds as I only had 2 left in my pot at home, but was able to pay for them with pocket change as they were reduced to 50p. My last pot has lasted me literally years, so this one will as well so, again, no need to spend anything for ages.

To be completely honest with you, i would love to cancel the tablet contract now and bring the price of my phone contract right down, but it's not that simple, you can't just go and do that. If you want to cancel a contract they ask for the remaining months of line rental up front, in my case that would be in the hundreds. I have already said come next July I'm going to cancel the tablet(as I'm not using it as much as i would like) and try and get a good deal on a phone contract while still having a half decent phone.

So, in the meantime, I'm going to cut the outgoings in other ways - help my parents pay off the loans, not have any more small spends unless absolutely vital(even now we have all essentials we need so that'll be a while yet) etc etc.

I was talking to my dad and bf last night when i got in from work and we wanted to go to a couple of airshows this year but we have agreed we will not be going unless we know we can afford it without jeopardising anything else. Thanks to dad any time we do have a day out he makes us take a packed lunch in the cool box and leave money/cards etc. at home so we don't buy food at extortionate prices at the event.

maman

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

I think your 'light bulb moment' still hasn't really arrived.

I'd agree that's probably true to an extent but for as long as you're earning a very low wage, your BF isn't working and you're locked into your contract then getting into a mse mindset has to be progress.


Someone I know had a period on benefits at home with a toddler. She made sure they lived frugally and also took advantage of that time as a SAHM (single) to study and do some voluntary work. When she went back to work she got a good job as she'd improved her CV, carried on with her frugal ways (still does) although she had loads more money coming in and eventually saved enough for a house deposit.


You have to start somewhere!:) Sounds like your parents are thinking along similar lines which makes all the loans so difficult to understand.


:T on the 20p chicken breasts. That's amazing!

Tiddlywinks

It is the little things that all add up...

So, why are you buying McDonalds for lunch - make a packed lunch instead. Doesn't matter that you had a coupon for some nuggets - you still bought fries as well.

Have you called your phone company to say you're having difficulties to see if they can reduce anything? It's worth a try.

Even if you still have to pay the contract, you could sell the tablet and phone and replace with a cheap old model. Then use the money to lower some of the debt. Even in one of your latest posts you're talking about choosing your next phone which'll depend on what's been released next July.... why will you need a new phone?

Plus, your BF really needs to get a job - no excuses about his profession not really recruiting at the moment. You live in an area with seasonal work - he should be looking at getting anything. Chamber maid, cleaner, cafe -anything. The hotels etc are taking on extras now so he needs to get himself out there looking.

I know I might seem harsh but reading your thread is like watching someone slowly walking down a train track seemingly unaware an express is on its way. I can't just watch you walk on without at least pointing out the bloomin' big engine speeding at you whilst you make daisy chains.

PS - go and see the airshows but stay outside of the fence. Take a packed lunch, a fold up chair and find a spot where you can see the flying. A lot of shows have their own radio broadcast so you can listen to commentary on a portable. That way you'll get a day out for pennies not pounds.

It just takes a different mindset and you need to get a grip of your BF too.

gemmajenkins0208

Thank you maman, I feel all these small steps are slowly helping me towards a better path. Which, for me at least, is better than where I was before Christmas.

Well Tiddlywinks, you certainly don't hold back :rotfl:

But all jokes aside, thank you for your what sometimes seem like harsh words!

I have tried to reduce a contract before, the first time I lost a job while being within contract but they couldn't do anything strangely. They said if I went online there was an option once I was 6 months into the contract I could lower the tariff rather than only be able to raise it. Looked this time round as it's been 6 months since entering the contract but I can't find anything. Will have a proper look in a short while after my dinner when I can do it undisturbed.

I want to sell the tablet, but I'm trying to do that in a logical way(selling just before Christmas to fund presents etc) and I really don't want to sell the phone if I can help it as it has a downright astonishing camera and I'm a keen photographer. I have an idea up my sleeve for a side income.

I won't tell you of an ex friends of mine's habits. That'll give you a heart attack!

gemmajenkins0208

Also maman, when I was on benefits between this job and my previous job, every fortnight that I went to sign on I asked them - without fail - if there were any courses I could do, even if I was half way through a course.

Kept me busy, gave me new skills/qualifications and my CV is about 3 pages long now :rotfl:

gemmajenkins0208

Turns out since EE took over Orange and Tmobile they have changed the rules and you cannot downgrade a plan :mad:

Oh well. Will have to continue trying to be frugal now that I don't need to make any more spends.

Got some ideas for days out for me and my bf while I'm off work next month:

I said about going to the city to go shopping, we could look around the shops, I don't plan on buying anything but my bf can if he wants to, and I'll try and persuade him - weather depending - to go to the sea front and just sit there for a while in the sun. We will take water with us in a big 2L bottle so we don't dry up!

There are plenty of country lanes minutes from my house so we can just take the dog for hour long or 2 hour long walks and we won't ever be far from my house.

There is a lake and a waterfall a 5-10 minute drive from my house so again if I can persuade dad we can take the dog there for an hour or 2. My friend works at the caf! at the lake so I may be able to wing a free drink from her. If she says "rules are rules, you gotta pay" I'll politely decline the drink*we'll take a big bottle of water either way). This will also give dad a chance to get his DSLR and his new video camera he's getting for his birthday out and get some practice in.

There is also miles and miles of moorland a 10-15 minute drive from my house so we can go up there too, again with the dog.

And last but not least, I can sort out the house and the gardens and sheds - again weather depending(for the gardens and sheds) - as once I start on something, as long as I have the help and support from others I literally go like a raging bull. If we have things for the tip, I will try and persuade dad to let me fill the car up as much as possible so he can take it all in as few runs as possible thus saving fuel.

Tiddlywinks

Wow - there's good and bad in that last post .

Here're my thoughts after reading your last update. Some more straight talking from me but good on yer for taking it on the chin.

Your dad - getting a new video camera for his birthday - WHAT? - your family has had to renegotiate its payments for doorstep loans. I think the days of buying expensive pressies should be put on hold.

Really your whole family needs to be pulling together on this cutting back effort.

Which leads to your BF - you say you might go into the city shopping whist on holiday and you won't spend but don't mind if he does... you're supposed to be a team. He should want to help in whatever way he can and should be supporting you in turning things around... particularly as he is living with you at your parents' house and isn't in work. Why isn't he working BTW?

Things to do during your holiday - don't go near shops unless you need to buy something.

You live in one of the loveliest counties in the UK - get your BF to build a couple of kites (he makes models so this should be right up his street) and you can go to the beach and hill walking to fly them.

Look at the National Trust and English Heritage websites - there are loads of places to visit where you don't have to pay to go in.

Take picnics and squash - even in the rain you can have a great time watching the sea, boats and even people.

You could even make up a cream tea and take a tablecloth to have a treat on a picnic table or along the coastal path.

Also, look in the local paper - there are often good deals on coach day trips

There's loads of stuff to do when you look for it.

To be successful though, the whole family needs to do his/her bit.

Remember, until you get back in the black, you should only be spending on what you need not on what you want - there is a BIG difference.

gemmajenkins0208

The video camera was bought ages ago for him and we all put a bit towards it and it was only £100, so it didn't really impact at all on other outgoings(at the time)

As for my bf, we had these problems before he came along, and as i said before, when he took out a loan, it was only a tiny one that i should be able to pay off in one fell swoop next payday, he gives my parents rent money for living here so once i have paid his loan off he will no longer be a part of the problem.

He is looking for work, what he can do is somewhat limited though as he has dyslexia and his reading and writing is basically that of a 5 year old. He constantly asks the jobcentre for courses but they aren't putting him on any :mad:

Tiddlywinks

So, the video camera, the DSLR and the tablet could all be sold to recoup some cash.

Really, sorry, but I can't believe you don't see the way this looks. You took out an expensive phone and tablet contract just last July and you all bought your dad a video camera for his birthday - but at the same time were negotiating cutting your payments to a lender for several loans.

You and BF spent £50 on a night out, you bought a new jacket, brows and nails done, new outfit for Christening etc etc but there's always a 'reason' to explain it away.

I don't think you're really ready to make the hard changes required.