New here and really need to sort myself out(please move if in wrong place)

Tiddlywinks

Gosh - I feel like I'm trying to grind you down now and I don't mean this stuff that way. It's just that people on the outside can ask questions that you might not have thought of.

I bet if you took a look at me and mine you'd be able to point at some things too. We've all got 'blind spots'.

What do you want out of life Gemma? Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years time? How are you going to get what you want?

Not being funny but your BF needs to get his mojo back or he'll be holding you back. You shouldn't have to push him to do stuff. I'm guessing he's young? 20's? He's just wasting his life. I know it's hard to get work in his situation and that must suck for him BUT nothing's going to change unless he gets a grip.

He could at least volunteer - there are loads of National Trust properties and land in Cornwall and all need to be manned and maintained. The last time I was in Mullion a whole gang of volunteers were working on clearing the coastal path. They were all having a laugh and the Trust provided the transport and equipment.

Or he could volunteer at animal shelters, stables etc. How about seasonal fruit picking etc.

Volunteering will give him a reason to get out of bed and a chance to get a reference which'll help in the job hunting.

What do you think?

milasavesmoney

Just read this blog and I want to commend you for your efforts. That you are actively changing things and ways of looking at things is just huge. You seem to also be helping others in your family come on board and that's to be applauded.:T:T::T

You have made real strides in your efforts to stop being wasteful, using things up and planning to get financially healthy. Good job!

One small suggestion is to set up a savings account and faithfully put a certain percentage of your paycheck in every month. This is an emergency fund and NOT to be used for ANYTHING else. There is a £1000 challenge on this site you might become a part of to help keep you motivated.
forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5076051
And Gemma it's fun to see the balance grow and report in when it does!

You have begun a journey of financial education and responsibility that will be one of the most important life skills you will ever learn. Baby steps are essential when you are just learning.

gemmajenkins0208

Yes i agree Tiddlywinks, i will have a proper talk with him this evening when we will be sitting together and both be relaxed.

Thank you milasavesmoney!

I think i may give the £1000 challenge a go!

gemmajenkins0208

Forgot to mention, a tiny step but it's something -

Cleared out the 2 bottom drawers in the kitchen earlier and there was literally random rubbish in there! Found quite a lot of letters addressed to mum in there so she's going through them as we speak and dealing with them accordingly. There were a few of those complete tat Christmas cracker gifts too - a really tiny notebook, a shoddily made phone charm and a pen that didn't even work. All gone in the bin now :rotfl:

There's a lot more room for the things to fit in neatly that we do go to those drawers often for now.

milasavesmoney

Even if you put in just a little every paycheck, it's a start to saving. This is the other half of the financial coin. One side is paying off debt but the most important side is saving. I have joined a few challenges and they help me stay focused.

cheel

Hi Gemma,
I didn't realise you lived here in Cornwall!!

Seeing that your boyfriend is interested in farming and horticulture I've a couple tips!

My brother in law is a self employed Gardner and sometimes looks for an extra pair of hands. Now would be a really good time to ring and see if any local to you have casual work going.

Also I dont know I you are near duchy college but they are fantastic and have all sorts of courses in farming and horticulture right down to gamekeeping. There is lots of extra help available for dyslexic people and if he's under twenty five he can get financial help too.

Be amazing to build his confidence and there are lots of adults on the courses there so he wont be stuck with a load of 16 year olds.

Good luck
Cheel xx

maman

gemmajenkins0208 wrote: »

Forgot to mention, a tiny step but it's something -

Cleared out the 2 bottom drawers in the kitchen earlier and there was literally random rubbish in there! Found quite a lot of letters addressed to mum in there so she's going through them as we speak and dealing with them accordingly. There were a few of those complete tat Christmas cracker gifts too - a really tiny notebook, a shoddily made phone charm and a pen that didn't even work. All gone in the bin now :rotfl:

There's a lot more room for the things to fit in neatly that we do go to those drawers often for now.

It's a small step but there's something therapeutic about clearing out to make a fresh start. It's as if physically tidying up clears your head as well.


I may be reading too much into this but your mum shoving letters away in a drawer is quite worrying. It's good that she's dealing with things too.


I have to say though that generally I agree with other posters: you're being a very good and responsible daughter to try and sort the family finances but it shouldn't all fall to you. You have 6 adults living in the house and everyone should be pulling their weight. I think I might start by giving the BF a much longer list of jobs to do when you're at work. If he's taken on the role of handyman then he can start by clearing the shed with your dad and deciding what needs to stay, what to bin and anything to sell. I'm not sure how disabled your dad is but hopefully he can sit on a garden chair and tell BF what's needed and what's not.

gemmajenkins0208

cheel - Yes! I live in Liskeard! Funny you should say that - BF actually did 6 years at Duchy doing agriculture. He grew up on a farm when he lived in Essex as a child and it's remained when he moved down here so he attended Duchy to get the vital qualifications needed to get him a job in that area. He's 29 this year so not a lot he can get in the way of help other than continuously asking to be put on courses by the jobcentre.

maman - Yeah I think mum's had her 'lightbulb' moment to be honest She's sorted through all the letters, I helped her completely clean down the oven this morning, and she's doing roast turkey steaks with veg and stuffing for tea tonight - turkey was bought yellow sticker in Morrisons last night, veg and stuffing is from what we already had here. The only thing she's just walked up to the local corner shop for was gravy powder, but that will last us an age anyway.

Sorry if I seem like I've been MIA, our internet has been down this morning(probably due to weather) and I was helping mum out as I mentioned.

cyantist

I have so many jobs at the moment that need doing and we have no time. I'd happily pay someone a decent day rate for moving the lawn, bagging up the rubbish in the garden, painting the garage wall, rendering, laying paving slabs etc etc. I reckon I could keep someone employed for at least a month with how much needs doing!

It's a shame I don't live in Cornwall (for several reasons) but there's got to be lots of people like me in your area that your bf could do jobs for. Stick an ad on gumtree.

gemmajenkins0208

That's not a bad idea cyantist, I'll look into that