New here and really need to sort myself out(please move if in wrong place)

gemmajenkins0208

Hello, I return!

Haha, but no seriously I haven't been on in a while so I'm just popping in to update:

The BF having a car - He's on £300 a month in JSA and when he had a car before his accident earlier in the year, he still had a good £100 left over after car costs. It's not about having the most expensive, latest and greatest car. He had something that was suited to his needs, was cheap to insure and he did pretty well with it.

My prayers have been answered, in the form of more hours at work. Had a phone call on Monday evening and been offered 20 hours a week which I accepted as it's better than the hours I'm currently on and definitely better than nothing.

Mum and I have been totally blitzing the entire house as she's finished at one of her jobs(long story that I'm not going to go into here) so she has more spare time and she has informed us that she wants to do a few car boot sales this year so we now have literally a boat load of stuff to sell at boot sales and the pile is still growing each day as we find things to add to it! The first one is on Monday morning(due to it being bank holiday) then they are every Friday - weather depending - after that until about October time.

I moved my room around the other day and now instead of it just looking like a mish mash of things and furniture, you can tell what is what, like my bed is the centrepiece of the room(naturally!), there's a divet in the wall where my wardrobe and my old bedside table(actually a small 3 drawered unit) have gone and all my cosmetic bits and that sort of stuff, and then my PC desk and TV are in another area.

MallyGirl

Hi Gemma

that all sounds very positive. Are you also managing to keep Mum on board with the healthy eating/shopping?

maman

gemmajenkins0208 wrote: »

Mum and I have been totally blitzing the entire house as she's finished at one of her jobs(long story that I'm not going to go into here) so she has more spare time and she has informed us that she wants to do a few car boot sales this year so we now have literally a boat load of stuff to sell at boot sales and the pile is still growing each day as we find things to add to it!

I know you live by the sea but do you really have a boat to sell?? Surely not!:eek: Good luck with the boot sales and well done on re-organising your room.


Great news about the extra hours and, of course, the extra money that goes with them.:T Are there fixed hours or just when they call you in from week to week?


I can see with you living in a fairly rural area, needing to visit his family and increasing his job opportunities that BF needs a car. Do you drive yourself? My DD (grown up) is just learning as she's (at last) realising that without a licence she's limiting the jobs she can apply for.


If your mum has some extra time does that means she can start cooking from scratch a bit more?


Good to see you back.:)

gemmajenkins0208

Hi maman, good to be back

Hahaha no we don't have a boat to sell, I just meant we have lots of stuff :rotfl:

They are indeed fixed hours each week. The other advantage is that I don't work weekends now and I don't have to work on any of the holidays either

I don't drive no, and I can't see any reason for me needing a car right now.

It does, and she has been. She made a chicken tikka masala the other night, then the following night a spaghetti Bolognese and then a couple nights ago I made a lasagne

Tiddlywinks

So, now you'll be working 20 fixed hours a week you can look for a top-up job to make your hours up to full time.

Then you'll be able to save money to allow you to start your own independent life.

monnagran

Gemma, how sensible to put off any idea of learning to drive for the moment. These days it is eye-wateringly expensive to have driving lessons and car ownership would take up most of your money. It is something for the future.

Tiddlywinks is right when she says that with fixed hours you may be able to take on another job. Perhaps if your present hours are in the morning you could get an afternoon job in the same location that you are in now. Very little extra travelling and nearly twice as much money. It's win-win all the way. You are on your way to a good life Gemma, isn't that exciting?

I take my hat off to you. You have a 'can-do' attitude that will take you far.

Well done you!

x

maman

I was thinking more ofgemma sharing BF's car when they get one up and running. I suppose it's more of a personal prejudice coming through. My DD2 seems to have contributed to their car (BF now DH) for years but hasn't been able to drive. We're paying for DD2'S lessons as thought it only fair as that what we did with DD1. Certainly cost a lot less then though.

Tiddlywinks

maman wrote: »

I was thinking more ofgemma sharing BF's car when they get one up and running. I suppose it's more of a personal prejudice coming through. My DD2 seems to have contributed to their car (BF now DH) for years but hasn't been able to drive. We're paying for DD2'S lessons as thought it only fair as that what we did with DD1. Certainly cost a lot less then though.

I don't think there's any harm in getting a provisional licence and getting BF or member of the family to give some basic tuition... that's how we used to do it in the olden days . Then get some professional lessons to polish off the basics.

I still think though that the BF should be concentrating on the bigger picture rather than just having getting a car as his major goal.

Instead of buying and running a car, the money could go towards getting set up in a home (house share perhaps) in a town or city with more jobs and a better transport network - this'd be a win-win-win situation. More opportunities, less commuting, more independence PLUS a chance to really see if Gemma and BF can work as a couple.

Time is moving on and, really, it's time to stop treading water and start looking at the future and having plans.

It's all too easy to just sit back and 'make do' and then realise later in life that the 'best years' were frittered away and could have been spent on doing some spade work for a better life.

gemmajenkins0208

Yes Tiddlywinks, a very good idea really.

I'm only 25, but really before I know it I'll be 30+ and still be here :eek:

Small story for you all though - When my dad was 35 he was still living at home with his dad, flitting between part time and temporary jobs and relying on his dad to bail him out if needs be as he had a car. He gave up work altogether and went back to college as a mature student as he didn't want to flit between jobs any more and knew that college would be a consistent thing for a year or 2. A few months after starting college, he meets my mum, a few more months later she announces she's pregnant with my brother. They get it all handed to them on a plate(a flat, benefits etc.) what with my mum being pregnant and both of them out of work. My brother comes along, my dad finishes college, starts applying for jobs based on the qualification he's just attained and he lands a trainee job at the council offices. Literally no more than 18 months to 2 years later he has been promoted more than once, earning in excess of 2k a month, they buy their own house and dad bought a new car and ever since up until dads health deteriorated and he had to leave work we were doing just fine.

Moral of the story - There are people out there in a lot worse situations. Also, while some may need to get all set up asap, if you're struggling, they your time will come eventually, and it could all happen very quickly

monnagran

And as my late father was fond of saying, "God helps those who help themselves."