large booking at restaurant- how to split the bill?

Pollycat

Domayne wrote: »

Seriously? You wouldn't eat out with them just because she takes food from her husbands plate?? I mean if he had objections and an argument broke out over it i could maybe understand your disgust but because she stole a chip off his plate?? :rotfl:

You clearly didn't read this post:

Pollycat wrote: »

There's sharing and then there's standing up, leaning over the table - usually complete with drinks - and taking something off someone else's plate

And there's you taking issue with another poster for not reading posts......:rotfl:

Domayne wrote: »

You sound miserable.

You may think I sound miserable, I call it having certain standards of behaviour in public.

Domayne wrote: »

And you would hate me as a dinner mate (and probably in general)

You're right, I wouldn't appreciate your company as a 'dinner mate' from your comments.
Don't you think 'hate' is an exaggeration? I don't know you.

Domayne wrote: »

i eat with my hands most of the time unless it's pasta or rice because I find forks/knives uncomfortable,

Of course it's acceptable to eat some food with fingers - but I certainly wouldn't do it with chips.

You sound much younger than me, I doubt any of my friends would be dancing as a stripper (and I'm pretty sure none of them would need a string hiding). I've noticed that some young people seem to struggle with knives and forks, maybe you weren't taught how to use cutlery properly as a child?

Domayne wrote: »

I will offer you food off my fork, a drink from my cup or glass and will happily eat/drink from yours.

I would refuse your offer of food and drink.
And - trust me - you would not eat from my cutlery or drink from my glass, happily or otherwise.

Domayne wrote: »

My 3 closest friends and I don't really have boundaries. We kiss on the lips, grab body parts, stick tongues in ears and I even had to help a friend stick a tampon in recently because she couldn't hide the string, had just had a manicure and was dancing that night.

Now you see, you've just gone and done it again!
Not read my post, that is.
You're talking about your close friends.
I'm not.
My post that you quoted didn't say 'friend', did it
It said:

Pollycat wrote: »

Someone we know feels it's acceptable to reach over the table and take something from her husband's plate - quite often with her fingers.

Do you understand the difference?

Domayne wrote: »

But most of the people posting on here would ditch their friends just because they didn't order the right food and short changed you for £1 and took some food from their own husbands plate. Doesn't much sound like very strong friendships anyway tbh,

Not 'friends'. Not a 'strong friendship' at all.
Do you understand 'someone we know'.....?
We are a fluid group of friends, she is the friend of a friend.

Domayne wrote: »

I find your attitude so baffling honestly?

I'm pleased you find my attitude baffling.
It means that I'm different to you.

cbrown372

onlyroz wrote: »

Oh dear we're at bible quotes now.

So back to the topic. My mum is looking after my kids on Thursday due to the Easter holidays. She'll be bringing them to meet me for lunch. So:

a) Who should pay for the kids' lunches, mum or me?
b) Should we split the bill equally or should the kids' portion of the bill be less? (They will most likely have something like a McDs Happy Meal whereas I'll probably go to the noodle bar).
c) Should I be concerned if somebody decided they want a cake or ice cream afterwards but I don't fancy one? Will my "po-faced" expression as they eat it spoil their enjoyment?
d) Would I horrify everyone if I shared a spring roll with my daughter and used my fingers to split it in two?

Personally I'd stand as guarantor for my Mum and let her pay

Domayne

Pollycat wrote: »

You clearly didn't read this post:

And there's you taking issue with another poster for not reading posts......:rotfl:


You may think I sound miserable, I call it having certain standards of behaviour in public.

You're right, I wouldn't appreciate your company as a 'dinner mate' from your comments.
Don't you think 'hate' is an exaggeration? I don't know you.


Of course it's acceptable to eat some food with fingers - but I certainly wouldn't do it with chips.

You sound much younger than me, I doubt any of my friends would be dancing as a stripper (and I'm pretty sure none of them would need a string hiding). I've noticed that some young people seem to struggle with knives and forks, maybe you weren't taught how to use cutlery properly as a child?


I would refuse your offer of food and drink.
And - trust me - you would not eat from my cutlery or drink from my glass, happily or otherwise.


Now you see, you've just gone and done it again!
Not read my post, that is.
You're talking about your close friends.
I'm not.
My post that you quoted didn't say 'friend', did it
It said:

Do you understand the difference?

Not 'friends'. Not a 'strong friendship' at all.
Do you understand 'someone we know'.....?
We are a fluid group of friends, she is the friend of a friend.


I'm pleased you find my attitude baffling.
It means that I'm different to you.

I read your posts just fine I just didn't feel it nessasary to quote all of them since in the context I was referring to that specific part. I mean if you said you didn't like the couple for a lot of other reasons, regardless of how 'close' you are, I could understand you...but simply refusing to eat out with them because you don't like the fact she leans over the table and takes food from her husbands plate (I assume he has no objections?), even if holding a drink? Is confusing for me...if she stole from YOUR plate I can understand your annoyance to a degree though you could always explain how her behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable but if they are a nice couple in all other ways, why would this be so bad you couldn't face dining with them? Genuine curiosity here

duchy

There's always the point that if you are paying good money to eat out that you don't want that experience marred or spoiled by behaviour that would put you off your food. Of course a good friend would be likely to know what "pushes your buttons" and make an effort not to do anything that would spoil your meal. If they won#t/can't/are oblivious and you don't want to tell them......and do value their friendship because they have many good points too then you just arrange to do other things with them rather than meals.
roz posted pages back the clip "No-one eats Joey's food". The reason that was funny was because an awful lot of people ARE "territorial" about their food and chip pinchers are annoying or off putting depending on your tolerance level and hygiene standards.....even without OCD tendencies to many people.

Eating (say) steak and chips with your hands rather than a knife and fork is not usual behaviour in a reasonable restaurant and some places would ask you to leave if they didn't assume there was a disability issue in play.

BarryBlue

onlyroz wrote: »

Oh dear we're at bible quotes now.

I wouldn't worry. Quoting a work of fiction is hardly a basis for sensible debate, is it? May as well quote Harry Potter in a debate on the education system.;)

Domayne

duchy wrote: »

There's always the point that if you are paying good money to eat out that you don't want that experience marred or spoiled by behaviour that would put you off your food. Of course a good friend would be likely to know what "pushes your buttons" and make an effort not to do anything that would spoil your meal. If they won#t/can't/are oblivious and you don't want to tell them......and do value their friendship because they have many good points too then you just arrange to do other things with them rather than meals.
roz posted pages back the clip "No-one eats Joey's food". The reason that was funny was because an awful lot of people ARE "territorial" about their food and chip pinchers are annoying or off putting depending on your tolerance level and hygiene standards.....even without OCD tendencies to many people.

Eating (say) steak and chips with your hands rather than a knife and fork is not usual behaviour in a reasonable restaurant and some placs would ask you to leave if they didn't assume there was a disability issue in play.

And I do understand that. I never jumped on anyone for being territorial over their food, that's fair enough.
My sister is like that, finds it hard to 'share' her food and definately won't share cutlery with you which I do find odd because I just don't care about things like that.
I do respect other people have boundaries even though I have none it seems but I do have genuine bafflement as to why it's just so bad you would not want to see them altogether when it's not affecting YOUR plate specifically? (General you used here)
I have a lot of issues with societal norms and expectations at the best of times, just seems like a massive minefield!

duchy

I always find it really weird the people who take it personally if you aren't drinking alcohol and try to persuade you to drink (or worse as in PN's example. What the hell does it matter what I do. I don't tell you if you should drink or not as I believe adults can make their own decisions about what they do - so long as it doesn't impact on my enjoyment -so why not accord me the same respect ?

I spent a week in Vegas in the company of two completely tee-total girl friends - Didn't stop us having fun, dancing on tables and laughing til we were nearly sick - Not everyone needs alcohol to have a good time ! (and no hangover is always a plus the next day)

Pollycat

Domayne wrote: »

I read your posts just fine I just didn't feel it nessasary to quote all of them since in the context I was referring to that specific part. I mean if you said you didn't like the couple for a lot of other reasons, regardless of how 'close' you are, I could understand you...but simply refusing to eat out with them because you don't like the fact she leans over the table and takes food from her husbands plate (I assume he has no objections?), even if holding a drink? Is confusing for me...if she stole from YOUR plate I can understand your annoyance to a degree though you could always explain how her behaviour makes you feel uncomfortable but if they are a nice couple in all other ways, why would this be so bad you couldn't face dining with them? Genuine curiosity here

So why did you bang on about your friends - describing what you do with them in such detail - when I'd clearly not referred to this couple as friends?

You ask why I don't want to dine with them.
I think Duchy puts it very well:

duchy wrote: »

There's always the point that if you are paying good money to eat out that you don't want that experience marred or spoiled by behaviour that would put you off your food. Of course a good friend would be likely to know what "pushes your buttons" and make an effort not to do anything that would spoil your meal. If they won#t/can't/are oblivious and you don't want to tell them......and do value their friendship because they have many good points too then you just arrange to do other things with them rather than meals.
roz posted pages back the clip "No-one eats Joey's food". The reason that was funny was because an awful lot of people ARE "territorial" about their food and chip pinchers are annoying or off putting depending on your tolerance level and hygiene standards.....even without OCD tendencies to many people.

Eating (say) steak and chips with your hands rather than a knife and fork is not usual behaviour in a reasonable restaurant and some places would ask you to leave if they didn't assume there was a disability issue in play.

Of couse, as I've already explained, they are not actually friends so are unaware of what 'pushes our buttons'.
And as such we don't value their friendship.
They are friends of friends and our friends invited both couples to eat out.
So there's no arranging of alternative things to do - because they are not friends.

Has that satisfied your curiosity?

Domayne

Suppose it's the same thing as the people who can't have a starter or a dessert if your not having one - They don't feel comfortable with their choices unless they have it validated by someone else.

Pollycat

Domayne wrote: »

And I do understand that. I never jumped on anyone for being territorial over their food, that's fair enough.
My sister is like that, finds it hard to 'share' her food and definately won't share cutlery with you which I do find odd because I just don't care about things like that.
I do respect other people have boundaries even though I have none it seems but I do have genuine bafflement as to why it's just so bad you would not want to see them altogether when it's not affecting YOUR plate specifically? (General you used here)
I have a lot of issues with societal norms and expectations at the best of times, just seems like a massive minefield!

Me personally replying:
because they're not friends. :wall:

No minefield for me.
I just decline invitations to eat, depending who else is invited.
My money, my choice of company.

No big deal for me - as I've explained previously on this thread, me and OH prefer to eat out on our own.