£170000 in 10 years

themadvix

Afraid I agree with BusyMee here too, TH. You do so well in the saving and the making, but that's a heck of a lot to spend on a birthday (unless it's your husband's).

ch4rly2002

I have to agree with Busy Mee and Madvix. Firstly, I would say not to feel bad a certainly don't beat yourself up. £19k of savings is amazing! I am certain you will manage to reach £20k in no time, and like BM says, it should be a real motivator. While I would say not to feel bad, I would echo the comments above about reflecting on what you really need to spend on birthday presents as your generosity is the only thing holding you back from your target. I don't want to be presumptuous, so please correct me if I am wrong, but would you possibly be able to put a bit of time aside to make some thoughtful handmade gifts? I absolutely love to receive a handmade gift as it shows the person really cares about you and put in the thought, time and effort to make something for you.

try_harder

Morning all.I had to laugh when i read your comment themadvix as my husband is the only person i have never in all our married life bought a Birthday present for and he has never bought one for me .Everyone else yes i do spoil i guess it is the one thing that gives me the most happiness whereas someone else might spend money on other things clothes ,handbags ,horseriding ,the gym etc etc you know what i mean i dont spend money on any of those thingsbut my money goes on my children and grandchildren .But you are right of course i do tend to overspend and as you said ch4rly i could put together some smaller less expensive little things and make them look nice ,its a great idea and i will think about it now ,as i have said before my family would rather we looked after ourselves but just want to keep me happy i guess.

Busy_Mee1

Try thinking about it like this .....The greatest gift you can give your family is not having to worry about you in the future. Can you imagine how upset they would be if you don’t manage to pay your mortgage off and end up having to sell your home. They would feel so guilty about all the expensive gifts you have bought them and the holidays you have paid for.

I know I am looking at worse case scenario here but it might help you to feel better at pulling back a bit in terms of generosity, your children obviously think the world of you and you do need to concentrate on yourselves now.

try_harder

You are of course completely right Busy Mee1 i just dont know how to change habits of a lifetime and i have to say how much i do love doing those things too its not going to be easy but yes they would be mortified if they thought we couldnt manage at some point .I guess too im a bit like your husband i always think we can downsize into a smaller house but thats not really what i want to do i would love a cottage but that will be more money than the house we live in now so i really must stay more motivated .thank you as always for making me think more and take my head out of the sand at least for a little while i definitely will cut down that will be my first step and see how that feels next month when the Birthday comes around .Thank you Busy Mee1

Busy_Mee1

I know exactly what you mean, we have always been generous with our children and it has been hard cutting back on that. Our son now earns as much as his Dad and yet we still paid for the meal out for his sister’s birthday.

We have tried to cut back though and I do mention at regular intervals that we are saving for Dad’s retirement. I think maybe you just need to try and cut back, try and derive pleasure from giving smaller thoughtful gifts and make it clear that everyone pays for themselves on holidays and for meals... I dunno, I am good at giving advice but not so good at following myself haha

ch4rly2002

To give a perspective from the other side, I am 30 and have always been spoilt by my parents (I'm the youngest and the only girl so when I say spoilt, I do mean it). When my mum sat me down and apologetically told me that she won't be able to spend as much on us for Christmas and birthdays because she doesn't have as much money (she is retired and spends much of her and my dad's pensions on his care needs), I told her I'd rather she didn't get me anything and was comfortable herself. I am certain your children would feel the same, and I could almost guarantee they would be horrified if they thought you were struggling or not going to reach your target because you were putting them first. If they are adults and earning, they most likely buy what they want, when they want, and will appreciate the gifts you buy them but won't be devastated if you cut back. I am sure they would feel happier having a smaller gift and the warm glow from knowing that you are better off / more secure by not spending lots of money on them - that's how I feel when my mum says she's "only" giving us £20 for our birthdays. I am happy that she's giving me anything, and I would much rather she kept the £20 herself!

daisy_1571

try_harder wrote: »

You are of course completely right Busy Mee1 i just dont know how to change habits of a lifetime

I respectfully beg to differ TH -

try_harder wrote: »

hi first post on mortgage free wannabe site -i have a £170000 mortgage on a house valued at around £230000 we have an interest only mortgage on £155000 and repayments on the other £15000 paying £676 a month total mortgage we are paying 3.88%variable rate.We received a small inheritance that we used to pay a lump sum off of the mortgage we have no limit on what we can overpay which is really good.We are both in our 50s and i am afraid i have never ever been any good with money we have spent every penny that we had spare on cars holiday etc but mostly on our children and now its our children and grandchildren i could have bought 3 houses over the last 20 years with the money i have wasted .We have 10 years left to finish paying this mortgage and if i dont do something now i will end up with no home so i must start now to make changes.I have read through as many diaries as i can and bought folders and notebooks written out budgets etc and now want to work really hard to pay off the £170000 in 10 years i am hoping to do this by overpaying £10 a day equaling 3650 pounds in a year and around 1200 pounds a year is coming off of the balance in repayments after all the interest so total around £5000 a year off the mortgage then save the other £12000 in other ways i have opened 2 isas 2 regular savers and numerous bank accounts.I may not get anywhere near to that amount saved i have never ever saved before but i am very determined and i hope that with the help of everyone on here i can stay motivated i am definitely looking forward to trying

As can be seen by your first thread post, you really DO know how to change the habits of a lifetime ! This first post was less than 3 years ago and since then you have paid off bits of your mortgage, saved almost 20grand, changed your car, done work to the house and had 2 xmases when previously you say you had spent 50odd years spending every penny when you had it.

And whilst you can of course spend whatever you want on your family without concern over anyone else's thought or opinions, in the interests of conversation the only thing I would add to the previous posts - you have either 4 or 5 children I think ? if each have a partner that's 8 or 10 plus grandchildren, I think there is at least 2 of these ? That's a lot of birthday and Xmas presents that all have to be bought from your husbands salary. As he gets older there is a chance he simply won't be physically able to work lots of extra hours to get enough wage to sustain this. You say you want to be mortgage neutral in 2021, that's only 4 years if we take it to December of that year, you have a long way to go so I'm sure the family will understand that santa and the birthday fairy maybe only comes until a person is 21 !!!

It is interesting that when thinking in the 'current' you say things like buying for your family gives you great pleasure, you enjoy treating them or buying things they want, yet when you were considering these actions from the perspective of now looking back, you said above that your money has been spent mostly on the children and now children and grandchildren "I could have bought 3 houses over the last 20 years with the money I have wasted". Just wondering how many of your current birthday or Xmas presents you might look back on in December 2021 and say the same thing, 'wasted' money ? I doubt any of your family will be thinking: "suddenly mum doesn't love me, she wants to pay her mortgage off so dad can retire rather than buying me some jumpers and dvds at Xmas". They will understand completely and want the best for you both. (Jumpers and dvds just given for example, I have no idea if that's what you get them lol)


Lol, I know you will take this in the spirit intended, :money:

Daisy xx

try_harder

What a lovely lot you all are ,i am so very touched and grateful for your advice and help and giving me a good kick up the xxx.I do of course know all these things but tend to bury my head and hope things will all turn out ok .You are correct Daisy ,i have 5 children and all but one have partners at the moment and 2 grandchildren and you are right again every single person gets presents for Christmas and Birthdays you all know me so well and again you are completely right my husband will not be able to keep up the momentum of working so many hours in a very physical job but again i try not to think of it.
I am very good at giving advice to others but like you said Busy Mee1 we sometimes choose not to be able to see the sense in doing some things ourselves or rather choose not to ,i also am very stubborn and like to pay for everything these are the things that i find most difficult to change about myself .Coming to you ch4rly i bet my children who yes are all adults 3 older than you would all say exactly what you say and do try very hard to make me keep my money ,its definitely something to think about and its strange how you can see the sense in it all when you say it ch4rly but i promise i will work on it i would be telling someone else the same thing as you have all told me

At the end of the day daisy i dont think there will be any chance of me becoming Mortgage Neutral over the next 4 years we just dont have the income to do it ,it was said on the hope that i would either find a job or make enough money from home ,all our savings are coming mainly from my husbands hard work and working 7 days a week on not much more than the minimum wage and money earned from selling on ebax ,luckily we have a house full of things so we are lucky also i need to put in a lot more effort my husband will be 60 in 3 years time and definitely cant expect him to work for ever poor man .

try_harder

I hasten to add that lots of the money i wasted did not include presents i meant holidays and cars ,eating out ,too many expensive clothes for the children too much spending my or i should say our money on other people not family members always ,too many new sofas and furniture .I also meant that where i would go out with a friend and her children to the beach she would take a cool box i would eat in a cafe with my children you know the sort of thing .But i do also have to say that i never regret one tiny bit of the money that i spent on my children if i had to go back i would do it all exactly the same again but maybe spend 90% and save just that 10%