My sons problem with borrowing, gambling etc has ruined our credit history.

caverncity

Not sure if this is the correct forum, I think it is. Just wanting some feedback on this problem and any pointers to sort it out as its never ending and doubt its going to end soon.
The problem is my son and I have the same name. Prior to me trying to help and pay his debts off by using my new credit card and him promising to repay me monthly which never happened I myself dont have any debts. I do now as I am paying the credit card off.
He has a serious money, drug and gambling problem, I also know he has an illness, well I think he has, its not been diagnosed, he has tried to kill himself once and now uses that to his advantage. He seems to think he can get payday loans, open bank accounts, use the OD facility or the pinless debit cards to go overdrawn then move onto the next bank. He would get his wages, over a £1000 a month then blow it the same day gambling. Now he has been sacked from that job, doesnt get dole as he thinks hes too good to sign on, plus too lazy to walk to the dole office, he has registered and has been sanctioned numerous times. He also owes vodaphone hundreds and now his new mobile provider a couple of hundred. His new bank thats starting to mount up with fees for non payment of DD and overdraft fees. His other bank he owes £1800 and another £1600 which was down to them giving him a pinless debit card and I found he was using to buy stuff for under £12 which the bank has to honor.
I estimate he owes banks, payday loans approx. £7000-£9000 plus £1800 I paid out for his previous debts, one being for £680 to vodaphone. He owes friends money, when he was younger he had an accident and got over £4500 compo, thats gone plus he nearly bankrupt his mum as being a mother as she puts it she felt the need to constantly drip feed him money behind my back. Its stopped now (I think) but that left her thousands in debt which is starting to get back under control.
It all started when he was about 14/15 years old when unbeknownst to us he started smoking, (I knew but ignored) then started smoking cannabis and constantly asking or borrowing money I guess for pot and other rubbish. Then the gambling started, not sure what age I assume 18 and the payday loans and then the overdrafts, then he recently lost his job but he is still applying for loans and bank accounts and the annoying thing is hes getting them well some of them which is why I am on here.
As we both have the same name his history is ruining my credit score and as I have, well did have a financial association with his mum, my partner, its also ruining hers too as the searches are showing up on both mine and hers. The last one being 41 searches. Previous searches I had removed as he used his DOB or made up ones but this time my DOB is on them, so either he is trying using my DOB or something has happened that makes mine show up in the searches. The problem there is the financial companies will not remove them due to the DOB. I have been turned down by two banks because of it but sorted once the searches removed. We want to move house and get a mortgage but will be a waste of time trying.
He isnt even on the electoral role but it shows on his credit search that he is when in fact its me who is on it as it states he has been on it since 1994, he was born in 1995. I got him to contact equifax to remove it but they said no as its correct even though he told them in 2003 when it shows as him buying my house he would have been 8 years old.
He promises and promises he wont do anymore but everyday we are getting debt letters upon debt letters, default notices, no CCJ yet but will expect them soon. No door stop calls but expect them soon. I have spoken to wescot and other debt agencies to inform them he doesnt live here but when doing a trace they say he is, the trace is me they are finding. Its now becoming a nightmare, a never ending one. I have just done a clearscore search and there is warning on mine for too many loan searches, none of them mine.
I have put a NOC on mine this week with a password in case he is successful in using my details and also a statement to inform anyone about the comingling credit history. I have managed to remove six searches as of today, just checked. But thats just with noddle. I have the others to go through yet and dont expect it to end there as as soon as they are being removed they appear again.
I have looked into asking him or getting him to do a voluntary bankruptcy until I found on here he can do a debt relief order which looks better on paper. I have even looked into a name change, him more than me. Problem is you mention it to him, then its quickly forgotten or put on the back burner or he isnt seen for a while.
So yes long winded, nearly a short story but still a nightmare so my question is whats the best way to stop the mixed up credit history, its no use telling him to stop, he is ill, he said he doesnt know when to stop, he also said "you dont know what it feels like when you have the money in your hand or when you have won on a bet, its a great feeling, then gone again when you spend it all"
Oh by the way he is now 21.
Thanks

caverncity

You couldnt make this up but my son who is in communication with equifaxs online Q&A has just told me the letter of Notice of Correction with a password I just sent them has been added to his not mine so he now knows the password and the warning about aliases and DOB's. Oh and the letter of disassociation and my signature appears there too. I tried to do this behind his back but that failed didnt it. Not sure whats more annoying what they have done or his smugness.

Candyapple

Please note the advice below will need to be carried out separately with both you and your wife

You both should apply to be put on the protective register at CIFAS:
https://www.cifas.org.uk/pr_for_individuals

Secondly, obtain copies of all 3 of your credit reports from Experian, Equifax and Call Credit.

You need to go through each meticulously and contact each company who has searched you incorrectly to remove their search.

You will also need to file a notice of disassociation with all 3 credit reference agencies to get him removed.

http://www.experian.co.uk/consumer/questions/askjames285.html

https://www.econsumer.equifax.co.uk/consumer/uk/sitepage.ehtml?forward=gb_cs_cpo

http://www.callcredit.co.uk/consumer-solutions/help/how-to-issue-a-notice-of-disassociation

You need to be very careful because if you want to obtain a mortgage, it sounds like your credit histories are very mixed up and where he has been applying using false information, at some point it may catch up with him for application fraud and then he'll get a CIFAS warning placed against him. Now the problem with this is you can get nothing, zip, zilch until the 6 years will be up and even then, any accounts you do have open the banks/card companies may close your accounts down regardless because it's a fraud marker and they want to protect themselves. Where your names are the same, you can bet from what you've already written, that your credit history will probably get caught up in the mess too.

When you contact the credit reference agencies to correct mistakes in your files, if they refuse to play ball (such as the electoral roll issue) then you need to seek legal advice as the only way a lot of them will change anything is when they have been contacted by a solicitor on your behalf.

caverncity

Thankyou for the info but im fuming at the moment which is rare, hands still shaking due to being on the phone to equifax and not getting through to them that the letter I sent to clearscore with a password and NOC plus disassociation they have added to my sons credit history on his recent £2 statutory equifax account and not mine. I just couldnt get through to them that there is two accounts and my son can now see the letter I sent and the password I set up. They where referring to me as both people, the account holder my son and the person who sent the letter if you understand that, telling me thanks we have received the letter I sent to clearscore and added it to my equifax account, well my sons account. I spoke to two people and they just couldnt get their heads around it. Basically they got a bit confused and kept saying they have received the letter and added it and couldnt answer why they have added it to the very person I didnt want to see it. I guess this a serious breach of the data protection act?? This is just crazy and all down to same names. I know its not their fault (I think) its my sons but someone isnt doing their job properly.

DCFC79

I cant help with the reference agency issue but the phone issue he can get a payg sim or a pay monthly sim from Tesco which can be capped, will prevent him owing money to mobile phone networks.

caverncity

DCFC79 wrote: »

I cant help with the reference agency issue but the phone issue he can get a payg sim or a pay monthly sim from Tesco which can be capped, will prevent him owing money to mobile phone networks.

hes tried them but has he never has any money he wont get one hence the contracts. He owed vodaphone over £700 mainly for data which I got down to just over £600 and paid for him but he now owes them £400 for breach of contract and non payment of arrears. He then gets another contract with virgin, dont know how, think because of the mixed history and as I not him already had a virgin account, and even though he has 4 defaults and now owes them a couple of hundred, well more as hes in breach of that too so will owe them the full amount.

Candyapple

He will only be able to get so far with obtaining more credit in the future before banks / phone companies start declining him. I think where your credit histories are intertwined, the sooner you sort the mess out, the less chance he will have of obtaining further credit. It seems like you have exhausted your avenues of contacting the CRAs, I would definitely go see a solicitor if I were you as it looks like you yourself are getting nowhere. I highly doubt your son from the sounds of it will be the one to change his name so if you were going to go down that route, it would most likely be you that would be changing your name.

How is he funding paying for drugs, gambling etc. if he is unemployed and not claiming benefits? Is he currently just living off payday loans? Or is your wife still secretly giving him money?

It sounds like you all as a family need counselling and perhaps intensive counselling individually to get to the bottom of issues surrounding this.

Re gambling, have you tried installing gambling blocking software?
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VuwSHuKLSUk

caverncity

Candyapple wrote: »

He will only be able to get so far with obtaining more credit in the future before banks / phone companies start declining him. I think where your credit histories are intertwined, the sooner you sort the mess out, the less chance he will have of obtaining further credit. It seems like you have exhausted your avenues of contacting the CRAs, I would definitely go see a solicitor if I were you as it looks like you yourself are getting nowhere. I highly doubt your son from the sounds of it will be the one to change his name so if you were going to go down that route, it would most likely be you that would be changing your name.

How is he funding paying for drugs, gambling etc. if he is unemployed and not claiming benefits? Is he currently just living off payday loans? Or is your wife still secretly giving him money?

It sounds like you all as a family need counselling and perhaps intensive counselling individually to get to the bottom of issues surrounding this.

Re gambling, have you tried installing gambling blocking software?
http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VuwSHuKLSUk

Not sure how hes funding anything, I dont think hes gambling anymore, think that stopped mid to end of last year but hes still smoking pot. He is getting turned down for loans, a letter came today as its in my name I dont know if its for him or me so I open it to see another application, this time turned down. He was offered a new bank account the other day luckily I seen that too. This is how I know about most but not all of his debts as when im out if he is here by chance he opens them and bins them. He says I shouldnt be opening his letters but if in my name well apart from waiting for him to call in and open them in front of him what else can I do.
I tried the software but he does most of it outside hence why he owed voda £700 in data costs.
I dont think his mums giving him anymore money, his sister used to too. When it was bad it was £10, £20 £30 ,£40 or more here & there with promises of when I get paid I will give you it back now its down to £2 here & there but think thats stopped aswell due to all this.

Tried a counselor for him, didnt work felt patronised he said, told him thats how they do it to see what reaction they get. He was given AD's but stopped taking them. I actually think all this is down to his past, in just 1 year at 13 he was knocked off his bike and had a small bleed on his brain, then his nan died then shortly after his grandad then had to stop playing his favourite sport for good due to injury then got assaulted by a man. After that he changed not sure due too what happened or because of going through being a teen. I say this is why hes like the way he is to family but they say im wrong as they didnt do all this when things have happened in their pasts like deaths etc. but everyones different. For example his sister, a staff nurse, also in the army reserves as a nurse, new car owner, no debts apart from the car and student loan, wants to see the world so just shows everyone reacts differently.

Mojisola

caverncity wrote: »

I actually think all this is down to his past, in just 1 year at 13 he was knocked off his bike and had a small bleed on his brain, then his nan died then shortly after his grandad then had to stop playing his favourite sport for good due to injury then got assaulted by a man.

After that he changed not sure due too what happened or because of going through being a teen.

That's not a surprise! What an awful lot to cope with in such a short time - didn't he get any counselling or other help at the time?

caverncity

Mojisola wrote: »

That's not a surprise! What an awful lot to cope with in such a short time - didn't he get any counselling or other help at the time?

we tried but he chose his friends to off load to than anyone professional. Apparently I am told thats what kids did/do now, especially with social network. Most of the time I was kept in the dark, especially the money side of it as I would have stopped that. I did try once but that came down on me like a ton of bricks. Its only now im getting "yes you were right" but too late. Its me who is trying to sort all this out, spending hours and hours on here, sending letters, phone calls etc. 1 step forward, 10 back and then you get the likes of equifax giving him the letter of Notice of Correction with my NOC password. Thats how mixed up this all is.

[Deleted User]

I think tough love is called for; kick him out. He's getting away with not going to the job centre because he knows he can. I know it's hard but he's dragging you down with him. Only when he's at rock bottom will he realise and then hopefully seek help.