Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Izadora

Elsien - are the training nights something you could rejoin if you find not going anymore too odd?

Ono - I can fully understand wanting a day off from people. Despite being generally pretty sociable I think I've almost reached my limit and, as much as I know I'll enjoy it once I'm there, really wish I wasn't going out tonight.

I hope everyone has a good Christmas xx

Pyxis

elsien wrote: »

I'm feeling a bit sad - decided to stop Gitdog's training nights as he's not getting so much out of it anymore. We've been going for so long it feels very strange to be saying goodbye to people. However there is currently still agility to keep you all entertained.

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Does that mean gitdog is fully trained now? :eek:

.

Either he's fully trained , or he's a lost cause.

Now, which could it be? :think:

elsien

Please don't quote this as I may well delete.
Penguin about family relationships.

I have had a phone call from a closely related relative who I have not spoken to for a number of years due to issues when a grandparent died. We didn't have a huge row, but I was so disgusted that I didn't want to speak to them again. Ever. Plus the relationship has been very on and off for years, for reasons I won't go into.
I have had a phone call this morning, acting as if nothing had happened and inviting me over sometime over Christmas and I don't know what to do.
It is not a relationship I want to rekindle, as I'm fairly sure at some point it will go all pearshaped again. From a selfish point of view, as the person's partner is quite ill, I don't want to have to be the person being leant on when the partner passes away - relative is not good on their own and I am the nearest relative geographically. (I know how selfish that sounds, but I really really don't want to go there.) But I'm not sure I've got the strength either to tell them how I feel. I just want us to carry on ignoring each other - I hate conflict and would much rather pretend it wasn't happening. Any thoughts?

End penguin.

Izadora

Elsien - It sounds like you were quite certain that it's a relationship you don't want so, as hard as it's going to be, you need to try to stick to that.

Is there any way you can say "Thanks for the offer but no thanks." and leave it at that or would they still see it as channels having been opened up enough that they can try to lean on you when their partner's no longer around?

It's a horrible situation to be in and I think I'd probably go with the option of burying my head in the sand and hoping they'll go away, which is of no use whatsoever if they don't want to go away.
End penguin

Pyxis

Elsien....

Penguin re. your post.....
I agree with Isadora.

You don't want a relationship with this person, so don't have one, not on any level.

What a coincidence that their partner is very ill.


On this occasion, I would just say No, you have other plans.
Keep it very short and monosyllabic.

If they keep on, and especially if you think they might just turn up, you would have to say that you would prefer it if they didn't contact you again.

To do otherwise would mean getting sucked into their needs. If the reasons for the break were that severe, and they've never shown remorse or apology, then this would be a destructive relationship.
End penguin

jobbingmusician

I know I would react very maturely (not!) by simply ignoring the message. And then, if they got hold of me, by saying I still hadn't processed my upset from before, saying I didn't want contact, and putting the phone down as quickly as I could..........

onomatopoeia99

I would probably bury my head in the sand, not answer the phone when I saw it was them and hope the whole thing would go away, as I too do my utmost to avoid conflict. If backed into a corner I'd say no, though I find that incredibly difficult to do.

elsien

Thanks all. For someone whose day job involves challenging people, I'm ridiculously bad at it on my own behalf. Ostrich it is then.

And in other news, I have to go shopping on the Saturday before Christmas because I've only just noticed my online order didn't go through. I can feel trolley rage already and I've not left the house yet - wish me luck. Family presents, so I can't make do. I'm an idiot.

onomatopoeia99

elsien wrote: »

And in other news, I have to go shopping on the Saturday before Christmas

Ooops :eek: I did that once. Never again!

Pyxis

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Ooops :eek: I did that once. Never again!

I did! This morning!

It was fine!

Mind you, it was planned to the nth degree.

Sainsbob s and Marks opened at 7.00, so I was there parked at 6:50, did Sainsbobs and then Marks food hall, shoved the stuff in the car and went back to Marks for breakfast in their cafe.

Then I did some smaller shops, popped into the bank to pay a bill, and was home by about 11:30, unpacked everything, then flopped with a prosecco cocktail. :T


Will now stay flopped for the next four days!