Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

elsien

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Festive depression (had it every year for the past 7/8 years) is trying to kick in. Felt it bad last night, Now trying to counter it with Christmas songs, its so annoying, theres no reason to be down, ive got xmas off i'm seeing Swain and seeing my family, works fine (if not a little busy),i;ve been taking my meds. Just seems to kick in this time very year. sod it i'll listen to christmas songs till it subsides!!!

Doesn't really have to be an obvious reason though, does it. That's the nature of depression, unfortunately - it does its own thing. Sending a big shout out to your coping mechanisms to help you hang on in there.
The SAD thing might be worth considering though, if this time of year is particularly difficult. Maybe you could ask the doctor when you see them?

dekaspace

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Hi everyone, hope I can update on something aftert not posting for ages (although I have been lurking).

I don't know whether anyone remembers, last year some long-standing friends fell out with us because we had to leave their wedding reception because my husband was suffering from anxiety? I did explain and apologise, but to no avail. The man in the relationship who we have known for forty years is quite ill and we asked if she would keep us updated on his health, she said no, we didn't deserve it.

Anyway, a few days ago I sent a message via Facebook to their daughter. I said politely that she may or may not know that her mum no longer considered us friends, but we had been wondering about her dad's health and could she let us know how he was. I said if she felt she couldn't go against her mum's wishes we would understand and wished her a merry Christmas.

Anyway, I got the most vile reply from her mum, saying how dare we, that her husband agreed they wanted nothing to do with us, and that even if he died we are the last people they would inform. (This is a censored version, it truly was vile and toxic).

Anyway, I wasn't upset like I was last year. It struck me that her reaction was ridiculous. It wasn't as though we had injured her grandchildren, or burgled her house. It was to do with us having to leave her wedding reception, for which I had explained and apologised profusely. I have never held that much hate for anyone for so long, over such what, in the overall stream of things, is a pretty trivial issue.

So I thought I don't need this and I have now deleted all converstions with her on FB and blocked her. They can still get in touch through their daughter, should they ever wish.

But I'm a bit sad about her husband, we have known him over forty years, he lived with us when his first marriage broke up. I don't believe for a minute he agrees with her, but he will take the line of least resistance,he always has done.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, I needed to tell someone .

Love, etc to all.

My aunt is basically the same, had a major falling out after my other relatives death with her calling my side of the family benefit scum (despite my parents winning awards for doing over 20 years of charity work and being on tv for their charity work etc) and knowing my fathers illness is genuine, we have never been in trouble with the police etc.


She was also a hypocrite her own son being a junkie who had dealers at her door threatening to break her legs if she didn't pay off his debts and he stole tens of thousands from my grandad but she always called her angel (hes in his 40s now and only recently come off the stuff)


She and her daughter whom we later found out was bi polar sent abusive texts and phone calls and facebook posts accusing us of stuff, the daughter caused us social work issues when my parents wanted access to the dead relatives child by claiming we were leaving dozens of voicemails where we were creepily breathing!


My grandparents kept wanting them to make up and arranged for aunt to hide behind the door when my mum visited about 2 years later and wanted MY mum to apologise for the aunt (who had a victim mentality and always had according to my mum and other aunt)


The years since then they take offense to silly things then remove each member of my family from facebook after telling extended family what scum we are and stirrers, one was as stupid as father making a joke about how he struggled to understand writing on packing and he might be dyslexic and cousin and aunt talking about how offensive he was against diabilities and knew nothing about them.


Um my father who has been out of work 30 years after collapsing at work and walks with a stick and had been near death on a few occasions knows nothing about disabilities, the father who raised me who is autistic and dyslexic, dyspraxic and birth defects knows nothing about disabilities.


After leaving us abusive messages as usual including the "watch your back" kind time passed and again they wanted US to apologise despite on each occasion I kept out of the arguments.


They also of course criticise benefit claimaints claiming unemployment is fake (as they live near London and all over mid 40s so got good jobs before the recession) and homeless people can get a job if they made an effort.


Sorry just my way of agreeing with you.

tea_lover

I think I remember you posting about that at the time SDW - it definitely sounds like you're better off out of it!


I'm in the middle of a busy week, and have been waiting to hear about arrangements for Friday night. All week I've been thinking that I can't really be bothered and I'd be quite happy if it got cancelled. It has now been cancelled so true to form am feeling disappointed now!

System

I had an unexpected message the otther day. One of my exes friend's messaged me to say ahe;d realised what a horrible user he was and was sorry for the time i spent with him. I suspect he;s still his usual charming self. :silenced: I'm sorry she had to endure him for longer than i did but glad shes seen him for what he is. Is that bad of me?

elsien

Nope, just human.

Pyxis

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

I had an unexpected message the otther day. One of my exes friend's messaged me to say ahe;d realised what a horrible user he was and was sorry for the time i spent with him. I suspect he;s still his usual charming self. :silenced: I'm sorry she had to endure him for longer than i did but glad shes seen him for what he is. Is that bad of me?

No it's not bad, because she obviously wouldn't have been happy with him, and your experiences with him have vindicated her own current feelings......... i.e. "It's not just me he's been horrid with, so I'm not imagining it, and it's not due to any fault in me", kind of thing.

Also, knowing he's been just the same with someone else helps you to realise that it wasn't anything you did, either!

Win win.


I had the same sort of thing when my ex and I split up........ he bad-mouthed me to his family and so they thought I was the devil incarnate.

However, his second marriage also ended in divorce, due to his behaviour, so I felt that vindicated me to some extent.

elsien

Gitdog has a question he would like to ask.

Pyxis

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


Poor Gitdog, that's a really good try!

elsien

Gitdog is nothing if not trying.

Pyxis

elsien wrote: »

Gitdog is nothing if not trying.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: