Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

last_mile

(((((((((((((Dandy))))))))))))))
Sending you all my positive vibes you way.
I am almost always sure that what you imagine is never what actual happens.
Almost every night i have a dream that all my teeth fall out and it feels so real and yet they're always there when i wake up.
i do tend to over think situations but often doing so actual makes things worse as i am not open to a better interruption of the situation so end up dragging it tot he bad myself.

onomatopoeia99

This might be of interest to some of you. On the way home last night I heard an edition of "Word of mouth" (a programme about language and how we use it) on radio 4, which was about autism and communication. I foud it fascinating, particularly what Alys Rowe who runs "The curly hair project" to support ASD people was saying and found myself nodding in agreement a few times.

Link for iplayer etc : http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05hm2ym

dandy-candy

Thanks for hugs, they were really needed. Sometimes I feel very isolated even though my husband and kids live with me. I can talk to DH about my problems but he doesn't really understand and thinks I need to just pull myself together etc.
Penguin of problems
we've been having problems with our builders, with BT and I've been worried/paranoid about my health. To top it all we took DS2 to his uni accommodation (private landlord) and it was disgusting to the point we had to bring him home. He's had to be getting train to uni daily while we are trying to sort it, I asked council about what standards should be and then spoke to agents. Landlord has agreed to a new mattress, but before its been done the council have rung him to say they've had a complaint and are coming for an immediate inspection. I didn't make a complaint as such, just said I was concerned and wanted to know if it met the regulations.
I'm worried that now when DS does move in the landlord will think of him as trouble and won't be nice to him (he lives on site) and DS already isn't keen to live there and is a sensitive sort but we can't be sure we can get out of the contract and worse is that there is more other accommodation available and 200 people on the waiting list. The agent said realistically he's better staying there. We're due to take him back and DH has been giving me pressure to come too when he is dropped off but I'm terrified of seeing the landlord after this council trouble. DH has finally said I don't have to go but I feel guilty for causing all this and for not seeing DS settled in, but I can't cope.

I've sort of gone into zombie mode. I don't want to talk to anyone or leave the house. I'm shutting myself in watching "gentle" videos while knitting, or else I take to my bed. I look peaceful on the outside but in my head my thoughts are whirring and I'm back to talking to myself and berating myself constantly. Penguin end
Sorry for long post, I don't mind if no one reads it, I just needed to get it out

Pyxis

It has been read, Dandy, and I fully understand.

Any sort of confrontation can be scary. (See my signature!)

However, you did the right thing, and if the landlord was getting a new mattress, it sounds like they are at least doing the right thing.

If there was any potential problem for your son living there, the landlord would have torn up his contract by now, so I'm sure it'll be ok. Also, with the council on the case, I doubt there'd be any more trouble.

Just make sure your son knows who he can go to at the Uni if any problems persist, student welfare or whatever it's called these days.

Izadora

dandy-candy wrote: »

Sometimes I feel very isolated even though my husband and kids live with me. I can talk to DH about my problems but he doesn't really understand and thinks I need to just pull myself together etc

That's completely understandable, being able to talk to someone about your problems is great but if they can't comprehend how you're feeling it's still a very lonely place to be.

Not that anything needed penguining but just in case you'd rather I did
I know it's a lot easier said than done but try not to worry about "what if"s. There's no way you can control the landlord's behaviour and if that's realistically DS's best option then all you can do is try to give him ways to cope if the landlord is a bit off with him. I'm presuming there are other people living in the house too? They were probably none too happy with the standards either and will be grateful that someone's raised it as an issue. There are also so many things going on at the start of term that he'll hopefully be spending minimal time at home anyway.

There's nothing to feel guilty about and you didn't cause all of this, the landlord did by thinking that it was acceptable to rent out unsuitable accommodation. If you feel that you can't cope then it's probably better not to go, I know you'll want to see DS settled in but if you're upset then it's more likely to unsettle him than help.

While it's tempting to hide away until it's all over please do try to get out, even if it's just for a walk around the block, if you can. Each time I've given into the temptation to hibernate I've found it harder to get out the next time and when I've forced myself to go out it's always turned out better than I feared and been easier the next time I don't fancy doing something.

I know it's hard to deal with constantly whirring thoughts but please try not to berate yourself and be kind instead.

I hope all goes well with getting DS back to college and that things calm down for you soon. end penguin

Gingernutty

PENGUIN ALERT!! A lot of this is personal and quite 'outing'.

I did a charity walk. 3km with all my foot problems. I had no one to sponsor me, so I sponsored myself. £10 a kilometre.

I did the charity thing. In a comedy costume. And died on my feet. No one was able to come with me, either.

Standing on stage trying to make people laugh is not a very sensible thing to do. It's insane! :eek: The meds make me too sensible to be funny, but with them, I can think of and write and memorise routines. It's confusing.

I'm paying for a private therapist who told me I'm friendly and I'm doing all the right things. I just need to give it time. I feel so friendless and alone.

The job situation is pretty poor. I've had no replies from any of the staff bank emails, but I'm being trained up for a job in an office where I might get the odd shift. I'm being paid for training.

At an outpatient appointment on Monday, my BP was high. Like, stratospheric. I've got to lose a lot of weight or else I may end up off the methyphenidate and/or on something to lower my BP.

I'm overeating and feeling very miserable. I've got to get a grip on my food and eating issues. That's something for the therapist to sink her teeth into.

I've bunked off the first of today's classes, too. That has got to stop.

Still, I've got a little time to do my cross stitch homework......

PS. Just received a phonecall ftom an agency who are recruiting for a night position in a not very local hospital. If successful, it will scupper every plan I've made to go to concerts and gigs up until Christmas. I have made it clear that I won't compromise on the courses I've paid for on Wednesdays.

Hugs and squishes to everyone who needs them. Thinking of you WaS. Hope you're coping. :hello:

Izadora

GN - Penguin reply


Well done for doing the walk, especially with foot problems. Let me know which charity you were doing it for and I'll make a donation.

Congratulations on the comedy thing as well, I can't imagine how brave you'd have to be to get up there and do that. Sorry it didn't go well for you, just remember that loads of massively famous comedians have fallen flat at times and still do.

From what I've seen here the therapist's right and you're definitely friendly. I know we're probably not a great substitute for having people in real life but you're not alone. I think it does become harder to make new friends as you get older, I don't know if it's because everyone's already set in their ways or what it is but I honestly couldn't tell you when I last made a new friend.

Good luck with the job situation and at least you're getting paid for training. With the night position, which is more important/necessary - the things you have lined up between now and Christmas or what you'll earn from this job? If you can cope without the money it would bring in I'd probably wait for something else to come up

I can sympathise with overeating and feeling miserable - my response last night to a new dress (in a size larger than most of my clothes) not fitting was to eat a massive lump of cherry pie in a sea of custard... - but have never been able to get enough of a grip to be able to give you any advice. Good luck with it though and know that you're far from the only person struggling with it.

Don't beat yourself up about bunking off a class, just enjoy the time to do your cross-stitch and don't let it become a habit.

Sending you massive hugs and squishes and I hope things start going well for you.

Pyxis

Gingernutty...... another penguin reply.

Penguin reply deleted?


I dunno what the answer is!
A new brain, perhaps?

Gingernutty

Thanks. Penguin

It's been rough. Realising all the lost opportunities, feeling the effects of the meds and when they wear off and feeling even more down since the diagnosis instead of better.

Pyxis

Gingernutty..... don't forget that it can take several tweaks to get to the right dosage level, or even the right meds.

I think I told you that it took a year-ish before we found the right meds-dosage for me.