Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

jobbingmusician

It's the last sentence which bothers me. Wishing your weekends would go faster - presumably so he will go back to work? If so, yes, maybe it is time to leave (or at least do some solid preparatory work so that you have somewhere to go, and a suitcase packed, for any time you decide to walk).

Alias_Omega

Hi all,

Whoa..! What an emotional yo-yo rollercoaster of a week, i should really start to keep a diary or start to score my days ~ maybe some advice on how do this secure/secret or how people are actually currently doing it.

The best bit is when i tell myself "oh you've not thought about that today", then i spend the rest of the day thinking about it...

I can chat about "Mental Health" issues on here, and with the OH, however in work and with my boss is a no-go area currently. I really do think this has started in work (2 years ago), has now spread and affected my home-life.

jobbingmusician

Hugs, AO. And do chat as much as you want on here! x

last_mile

I really don't think he ever would hit me, he just gets angry really easily.
The truth of the matter is if we did separate he would be the one that would need to leave.
He couldn't afford to stay as he works for my brother and that would most likely end so no money coming in would mean unable to sustain this life.
I do wish it away in that i would rather he was busy than sitting still having time to think.
But the simplest of tasks results in a rage as seen with the tool box.
I wouldn't have anywhere to go as my parents house is full and growing ( my brother, his GF and soon to be 2 children live there).
My friends all live too far away and so it would be a holiday for a few if needed.
As long as i have my handbag and my dog i'm sorted.

Alias_Omega maybe ill steal your idea and start a diary this will let me look back about the week(s)/ month(s) and determine what my life is truly made up of.
I have developed the ability to say "oh i haven't thought about it..... i just wont - look at that lovely tree" distraction works for me and hence why i look forward to my work.

Lambyr

Alias_Omega wrote: »

Hi all,

Whoa..! What an emotional yo-yo rollercoaster of a week, i should really start to keep a diary or start to score my days ~ maybe some advice on how do this secure/secret or how people are actually currently doing it.

The best bit is when i tell myself "oh you've not thought about that today", then i spend the rest of the day thinking about it...

I can chat about "Mental Health" issues on here, and with the OH, however in work and with my boss is a no-go area currently. I really do think this has started in work (2 years ago), has now spread and affected my home-life.

You could use Evernote, possibly? If it's jotting a few things, then the free version should suffice. The mobile app is passcode or fingerprint protected.

Half my life is in Evernote, now. Ideas for blog posts, reminders, web pages I've grabbed for later, general notes, etc.

Whether the mobile app is any help does kinda depend on how frustrating you find it to type on a phone or tablet mind.

Lambyr

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

On DVD:

Battlestar Galactica (TV series) - the remake from a few years ago, not the 1970s version

I'll happily second this. Series starts a bit slow, really gets going midway through Season 1. Is brilliant up until and throughout Season 3. Season 4 is a bit hit and miss and the conclusion is a bit naff, but the penultimate episode is one of the strongest of the whole series, in my opinion, of course.

Novel wise, I'd recommend The Stars are Legion by Kameron Hurley. Don't read much at the moment, but I thought that one was very good.

whitewing

Thank you all for the sci-fi suggestions. I will get a list together at the weekend.

Got lots to do today so I hope I don't get too many interruptions. MIL has given me some health-boosting oils and some bit and pieces to add to Christmas stuff.

DH told me off yesterday for spending on littlewing's presents. Then he was informed that most came from the charity shops (new though) and were very good value. He is not one to actually say 'sorry' though!

Next week I have my £5 Asda flu jab. I will give Asda some free publicity for that as I think a £5 flu jab is excellent value. That's a bargain £5 flu jab for anyone who can't get it done for free. We had it done there last year and the lady was so good.

Pyxis

jobbingmusician wrote: »

It's the last sentence which bothers me. Wishing your weekends would go faster - presumably so he will go back to work? If so, yes, maybe it is time to leave (or at least do some solid preparatory work so that you have somewhere to go, and a suitcase packed, for any time you decide to walk).

I agree.

Dreading someone coming through the door is no basis for a relationship.

I do appreciate your concerns re. his job, income and lack of home for him if you end it.

Being just a little proactive might help a lot, though, e.g. as JM says, pack a suitcase for 'end of tether' times.
Get other affairs in order...... paperwork, etc.,
Have a 'just in case' plan.

Also, could you test the water with your brother, re the OH's job, in confidence?

And finally, is there any way at all you could talk to OH about his anger issues? There has to be something behind it.

Maybe he feels he wants out too, and can't tell you?
Or maybe he feels he wants out, but realises that he may then lose his job and his home and can't see a way out?

So you might both be tiptoeing around each other when you both actually want the same thing!

Dunno. Just some thoughts.

jobbingmusician

And very excellent thoughts they are too. Maybe a strapline for these threads might be 'the wise women threads' (sorry ono - there is male wisdom as well ) because of all the support we give each other?

(And a big hug goes out to that wisest of all, WaS, if she is reading xxx)

Alias_Omega

Fast forward a week, and a complete change around. Last Friday, i did not know how i would get through to this Friday, however its flown by. Ive had some minor ups and downs, but it cleared with time.

"Thoughts are just thoughts, and i cant change the past. I can however change the future..."