Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Torry_Quine

Pyxis thanks but that's not the issue Penguin We do have wills and he knows what I want to happen. The problem is that no-one will care about my treasues, such as photos or my rings ( I have mine, my mother's and my MIL and her mother's wedding/engagement rings) as example. The thought that once I@m gone there will be nobody to carry on my family really hurts and just the though is making me cry so I will come back to this later. End penguin

Calley I had a mini mastermind game

jobbingmusician

Hello everyone - I'm back. Yes, I was camping. And yes, it was cold (ice on the tents cold, but the nights were more comfortable than the days actually, and we managed to have a good time despite it all.)

Caught up by fast skim reading. Hope everyone who has had rocky times is feeling better today xxxxxxxxxxxx WaS, are you still feeling psychotic? xxxxxx

codemonkey

Reply to Torry penguin
I know exactly where you're coming from with this one. We don't have kids, my siblings are much older so assuming I live into old age, they'll be gone and my nieces and nephews aren't that interested, despite the fact that I pretty much raised some of them, so what happens to my personal stuff when I'm gone, I don't know. It's not even that I have anything of value really - there are several relatives we could leave any money to (although I'd rather give it to a dog's charity rather than some of them) but there's my photos, my wedding dress and veil (my veil is so beautiful), our wedding album, my engagement, wedding and eternity rings, a ring that belonged to my mum and a few pieces of jewellery (my dad gave me an engraved locket for my 16th Birthday, the gold watch my parents gave me for my 21st, etc.) and other knick-knacks that have sentimental value and nobody who will appreciate them or even want them.

As well as this, there's the thought that I'm going to be that old lady in the nursing home that nobody ever comes to visit if Mr CP dies before me, which he probably will.

I just comfort myself that even if we had kids, there's no guarantee that they'd be interested in my stuff or spend any time coming to visit me in the home either.

Utterly depressing thought really.

end penguin

Torry_Quine

(((code))) that's it exactly

tea_lover

code and torry - yep.... know that feeling well.

calleyw

me three.

dyed my hair this afternoon, Dark ash blonde. Got the wedding tomorrow.

Going to go to one of my local boots thats has make up counters and see if I can make over for free. I know very cheeky but when needs must.

Yours

Calley

Waves_and_Smiles

I understand Torry, I am in much the same boat.

Penguin- I have nothing of value, either monetary or emotionally from my family at all because after I walked away they wouldn't even let me have a photo of my dad, I don't even have any photo's of myself before the age of 25. I do have things I have gathered since that mean a lot to me though but I am pretty sure that I will have a choice what happens to them. If I die then everything goes to WaSp and he would give them to whoever we have agreed. If WaSp dies first I have always known that I have very little chance of living independently anymore so I would need to only take the minimum into a home with me. At that time I would figure out what to do with my things, I would give them to friends and charity. I will need very little in residential care so will deal with it before I move if I have to.

There are certainly some things that WaSp knows that I would want to go to friends so either one of us will make sure that happens. I have everything written down in an 'After my death folder' for WaSp in step by step instructions to make it as easy for him as possible.

There is no one to carry on my family either but I think things are a little different for me. This genetic line is so flawed and broken that it is probably best that it ends with me. It still makes me sad but I would prefer it to end here than for me to think that I had bought a child into the world to suffer. My parents were told not to have a child because of all of their genetic absnormalities and errr look at the state of me. I have always believed that this line needs to stop with me and if that means I miss having a child better that having one and watching them in pain because of my own fault. End penguin

Pyxis

WaS, would you be able to live independently with the right level of carer support?


Talking of carers, how's MiL doing these days?

Waves_and_Smiles

Ello JM! Welcome back! I am feeling mostly back to normal. I am still taking a little extra medication but other than being tired as a result I am doing better!

I really don't know, Pyxis. Perhaps I could for a while but things like my arthritis and my kidneys will become worse which will limit me physically and there is also the huge problem of my mental health. I would need carers checking on me every 4 hours, probably meals delivered which brings up the whole problem that I don't set foot near the front door, the same problems with prescriptions and getting to hospital appointments. I could see a lot of hospital trips in my future everytime the catatonic psychosis occurs because carers aren't equipped to deal with that or to sit and wait for a few hours until it passes, they would likely just call an ambulance when I am non-communicative which frankly would be a waste of everyone's time.

About the only option would be a live-in carer which I have no idea if is possible without going privately. I have pretty much reconciled myself to the fact that if WaSp is unable to care for me residential care will be a result, it has been a suggestion thrown around by professionals for over a decade now. Frankly, I am very lucky that I have avoided it for this long because there are very few catatonic schizophrenics living interdependently because their care needs are so high and they weren't lucky enough to have all the therapy and support that I did/do have. So far things have gone amazingly well really.

Milliefleur is now paying for a cleaner after BIL said it was time he had a life so she had to pay for one because he wasn't doing it anymore. Social services wouldn't fund it because there is no execessive cleaning, it is just what is needed for any house and BIL is perfectly capable of doing it but won't. He still insists he is her carer so it is an impasse with social services, they won't pay for a service simply because the designated carer refuses when there is no physical or mental reason why he can't do it. Otherwise, she is doing ok!

faerielight

Jobbing, it must've been cold camping, Brrr! I once went to a festival for 5 days in Wales at the end of october, it rained the whole 5 days and my tent leaked, I had fallen out with my then boyfriend so we weren't cuddling to keep warm..Luckily I had a trangia to warm water and a hot water bottle.. never again will I camp in the cold!

Waves.. I have carers for an hour a day, but I know they do provide care 6 to 8 times a day.. it is possible to live with home care. I empathise with arthritis, I have it bad in my spine, hands and feet and I fear the day when my mobility gets really bad

What a mixed day it's been . as well as the good news about mental health help my agency finally sent the crappy odd job man to fix the lock on my front door and change the manky shower hose to a new one! So a couple of stressors crossed off the worry list. Went to the dr today though, saw a locum Dr, there was a notice on the door informing patients that they have a shortage of drs which is affecting access to appointments, I really want to change gps.
PENGUIN:

.[COLOR="White] the dr asked if I had any family, I told her I have an evil mother, she asked me what the deal was with her.. I told her she had sexually abused me, she was astonished and said it was impossible for a female to abuse another female as they have no penises, and wanted to know the logistics, of which I got triggered. She truly believed that girls can't have sex with girls, and that femails can abuse. What an antiquated belief. It did my head in and I'm feeling a bit flashbacky this eve " [/COLOR]
END PENGUIN