Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

tea_lover

We'll all be thinking of you faerie. There'll be an extra special comfy corner waiting for you in the fort xx.

Izadora

Good luck for tomorrow Faerie.

whitewing

faerie,

I hope it all goes smoothly at the funeral and that it brings you some kind of peace or acceptance or whatever you need to cope.

mellymoo74

Avoid the news people

faerielight

aww thanks so much everyone, it means a lot to me, it really does. it's 5am and still not slept, have to get up at 8, going to at least try and rest.. will let you know how it went.. I've got my 2 Besties coming, which will be good. My friend and surrogate mum died 2 days ago too, I was so close to her, it's so strange, and spiritual, as I met her for the 1st time at my dad's funeral, as she had lived abroad. she noticed that I was being shunned bt the family and was the only one who asked me how I was, and it started a 25 year friendship. it's strange that she came into my life when my dad died, and has left when my mother died. I always swore she was an angel! She's the only person I've ever met who was truly enlightened.. she was an incredible person, not once did she get annoyed or frustrated with me, with all my episodes.. she saw my light and she was the only person who knew my mum that validated the abuse and what a psychopath she was. She always said my mother was born with no soul. Anna transcended generations, I could talk to her like a friend my own age and she always had so much wisdom.I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her, I miss her deeply. It's weird as I've lost the 2 polarities of mother at the same time, light and dark. It does feel spiritual to me, and I feel her around me. I could think of a thousand lovely things to say about her at her funeral, but not a single things abnout my mum which is so sad. my mind can't process my mum's and Anna'd death, it's such a lot to cope with all at once.

Solarjunkie

Faerie, your birth mother has gone.
But not Anna, the person who loved, understood and nurtured you. She will always be with you.
Today, just keep breathing, the day will pass.

whitewing

Whatever you feel, faerie, is your valid feeling. Others may not agree with you (people can be very blind to unpleasant things because it otherwise means they are partly responsible for your unhappiness, but also because sometimes 'abuse' is the frequency and repetition of the bad behaviour).

How you feel is how you feel, and that is fine by all of us on here (speaking on behalf of the thread!)

That said, we don't want you to CONTINUE to feel bad, so do talk things through with us as it helps.

Hugs to everyone avoiding the news. I personally don't feel too bad about it in that it isn't triggering my anxiety, and I am allowing myself to 'sit on the fence' about it.

Sun is out. Littlewing is at the seaside with grandparents. Wish I was there but I have Easter weekend off so I am looking forward to that.

tea_lover

Today I have handed my notice in. Seems like ages waiting for my contract and paperwork to arrive from new job, but in the end it worked out ok as I had a meeting with my boss planned today so I told him in person.

Am now feeling surprisingly conflicted - was absolutely certain it was the right thing to do this morning, am now less certain. Still definitely veering towards leaving but not 100% sure anymore. My boss has made it clear that he doesn't want me to go, that I can change my mind at any point during my notice but that he understands why I want to leave and obviously respects my choice. He's asked me to have a think over the weekend if there's anything I would like that would change my mind.

Which is nice in a way, as it's always good to feel appreciated..... but at the same time it has left me more conflicted than I thought I'd be.

Izadora

tea_lover wrote: »

He's asked me to have a think over the weekend if there's anything I would like that would change my mind.

I'm guessing that "For you to change pretty much everything about your management style." wouldn't be an acceptable response

I think it's only natural to worry and be slightly conflicted about moving on, just try to remember the number of times you've wanted to be able to cry and run away and the ridiculous number of hours of unpaid travelling.

onomatopoeia99

Well done tea, worrying about any major change in your life is natural. Just remember why you were so desparate to leave in the first place, and the fact it wasn't just a single reason, but lots of them.