Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

mellymoo74

You and me both WaS poor OH he was scared by me last night as I crumbled

Waves_and_Smiles

Big hugs melly, let's write yesterday off as a bad day for both of us. How are you feeling today?

You know, it's a horrid thing to say but sometimes I wish that I wasn't as high functioning as I am. There are people with the same illnesses as me unable to live in the community because they have no concept of when they are delusional. I do feel for them and I would mostly hate to be that way but there is a small part of me that wishes I was like them and that I wasn't aware when this happens. When it stops I have so much self-hatred and guilt, I know there is something very wrong with my mind and I know it limits WaSp in his life which really isn't fair. Nevermind the fact that it's actually quite scary that I can suddenly become so confused. Also, all of these years later I still find it really embarrassing, I didn't let him move or talk for hours because of atoms stripping the room of oxygen. Really? I am just so embarrassed, where on earth did that thought come from?

mellymoo74

You don't limit him WaS
His priorities have shifted is all.

Still pants if I'm honest, dog walking and shower for me shortly need to pull up big girl pants, paint on a smile and some confidence and go to yet another interview.

OH thinks it was just stress, I am not getting anywhere, wasted time going to an interview for a company that don't want to hire anyone else the day before the didn't even merit informing the person I was meeting g (who's supposed to support me) was off.
Followed by HA telling me they will be going to court.

Waves_and_Smiles

How frustrating! It really is no wonder that you are feeling so fragile, anyone would be. Good luck for today, I will be thinking of you! Let us know how the interview goes.

mellymoo74

Don't want to go is my problem what's the point?

Also got to call council about HB again to find out if what they told me (just need landlord to prove rent) or HA (need proof of benefits and I'D and everything else )is true.

Just going to give myself a metaphoric kick up the bottom

Eta-dont worry will motivate myself shortly honest

Waves_and_Smiles

Take your time, Melly, You are allowed some time to gather your thoughts and to try and relax for a while. When I claimed housing benefit for here all they wanted was ID, my NI number and the tenancy agreement, they could see on the computer that I was in receipt of benefits.

mellymoo74

The money is to go to the landlord
I won't see it
And it's a housing association
I will be fine
Just had to clean up poo and wee so now walking them grr

tea_lover

Good luck today melly

*runs around waving a big "melly is ace at EHS stuff" flag*

elsien

Melly, when you come back with your shiny new job (because you are wonderful and they'd be idiots not to see it) , your message box is full.

onomatopoeia99

Good luck Melly!