Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

mellymoo74

Docs tomorrow WW
I will take all help (apart from hospitalisation) admitting I am ill

Christmas is great with children! I miss my neice and nephews though my brothers send pics and videos.

Animals will always be well fed, they didn't ask to live with me so the least I can do is take care of them.

mellymoo74

Kittens back at windows

Solarjunkie

Lambyr, you can mourn the brother you never had, the ideal brother that some may have thought you had. You can do this last thing because you care for your mother. You are the bigger, better person because you will make your way through this because it will help others. You can hold your head high, now and in the future, because you will act like a civilised person and have the satisfaction of knowing he did not pull you down to his level.

mellymoo74

WaS
Sorry for nagging/stalking hope your OK.
X

elona

melly

Sorry to nag but you need to look after you so you can look after everyone else.

I wish I could ferry you frozen home made meals or soups the way I do for my DDs.

mellymoo74

Docs tomorrow Elona
I'm going to try and spean to her properly

elona

Honey

Please try - not just for your sake but for all those who love and depend on you.

whitewing

The wake isn't for him though really, is it? It is so that people who know you can show their support to you/your mum. In our place, wakes are very simple affairs - food to refresh but not a massive party. I agree that it is perfectly right for you to mourn the brother you didn't have. I also think it is perfectly okay to say good riddance. (Although I wouldn't quite go so far as standing up in the service and listing all his faults).

You being angry if you feel obliged to organise the wake is very understandable, but is only going to lead to a lot more stress for you. If someone else appropriate offers, then it is fine to agree (especially as someone else may have seen a side to your brother that was not revealed to you). If no one else offers, then grit your teeth on the basis that you can use it as your own version of letting him go.

Your mum's grief may well irritate the hell out of you, but that won't necessarily be because he was so bad. When my grandmother died, we all were at different stages of grief and all had strong views etc so we all upset each other sometimes.

Do keep off-loading to us, lambyr. We will help as much as we can.

tea_lover

Reply to lambyr
Agree with ww, that any help or support in making arrangements at this time would probably best be viewed as help for your mum rather than your brother. I can completely see why you'd want nothing to do with any of it.... although the childish side of me thinks I'd put on a lovely day and stand there with a smile just to annoy him! But I'm sure you're more grown up than I am.
End penguin.

I've been back in the office less than an hour (after a v lovely week off) and I genuinely could just cry and go home. If anything, the break has made it all seem worse.

Am also v annoyed that none of the rest of my team has bothered to do the one part of my job that absolutely can't wait if I'm not in. It's supposed to be a team effort anyway, but when I'm around I do 100% of that part of the work. I made it very clear last week that it had to be done, including instructions etc and it's been completely ignored. So now I have lots of moaning emails from other people (which I can sympathise with!) about the total lack of response last week.

Plus the traffic was beyond horrendous, and I'm PMS-y to hell.

There is no way on earth I can manage another 31 years of this.

Pyxis

(((((((((((Tes Lover))))))))))))

I hope you ripped them off a strip.
Don't just take it. They have to be told.