Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

bexs2247

Hi, I'm new to this forum. Been having problems in my relationship recently and I've just started seeing a counsellor about this and about finally trying to deal with my dad's death 25 years ago when I was 9.

Feeling like my partner has been a little controlling before but am not sure if it's just me making mountains out of molehills as little things are building up and annoying me constantly. Sometimes I want out of it.

Tried to talk to him about everything the other night, ended in an
Argument and he told me he's thought about killing himself. Don't really know what to do.

Just wanted to rant a bit

Torry_Quine

Welcome bexs Hugs

Waves_and_Smiles

I have one of those teddies! He is only an inch high and has a tiny knitted cardigan too!

Torry, big hugs. I know how much your faith means to you and no one has a right to criticise that, it must feel like criticising part of you and everything that means the most to you. A much lesser comparison but all I have is someone telling me that psychotherapy is useless and my view of it is misguided when I am certain that it is all that has kept me alive and given me hope since childhood. I know it doesn't compare to the strength of your faith but I have an idea how I would feel if someone tried to rip out my very foundations that my life is built on. Huge hugs to you.

Bexs, welcome. It is very good to meet you but I am sorry that you are having a hard time right now. It is good that you are seeing a counsellor, I really hope that helps you. There are many reasons why people are controlling and I cannot judge why your partner might be so but telling someone that they might kill themselves after an argument is certainly controlling. No one has the right to do that to another person and I say that as someone who has often felt that way and has attempted suicide several times. I would NEVER have used it over anyone to control a situation and that really isn't ok, my main concern was to keep the people I loved safe and protected because I felt they would be better off without me. Please feel you can post anytime you want, you are always welcome here.

Pyxis

Bexs, welcome to the thread!

Firstly, did you see Whitewing's post? With the link to an article? It rang very true to me too. Do have a read of it. Post #574

If the age of your parent is relevant to your age now, that might well be one factor in why things are now churning for you.

faerielight

Oh Tory, I was thinking of you with your mum's anniversary.. have you ever had any grief counselling? And sorry to hear that you got got on another thread.. you guys know how many times I've fallen into the troll trap on other threads! It's so hard.. someone slates you, and you feel the need to stand up for yourself and put the record straight, but that gives them pleasure as they know that they have caused a reaction and it makes them retaliate even more! ((((((((((Tory)))))))))))

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello Faerie! Lovely to see you!

I think a blister just went pop, I have a soggy dressing! I am not to remove it no matter what happens but it is really itching. I want my hand back!

Pyxis

Etiquette repost.

Pyxis wrote: »

(The thread etiquette will be reposted every ten or so pages.)
........:starmod:......................................................................:starmod:.....................
Here is the suggested THREAD ETIQUETTE. By following this etiquette, all posters, whether new or existing, will feel safe, unpressured and respected..

!!!But first...............please be assured..................................................................******It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. (See below about penguins). In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.******


- This is a thread for support. We have discovered some good friends on here, but we promise always to welcome and include new people, and not to be cliquey.

- People may make suggestions to help each other, and might even ask if the suggestions were helpful or have been carried out, but we'll really try not to nag each other or put too much pressure on.

- The normal board rules about sexism, racism, homophobia etc. apply, but if we are careful we should be able to discuss almost anything without breaching board rules - so far we have discussed subjects ranging from child abuse to incontinence!

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Similarly, if they want to discuss something that might be a trigger for some people, then posting PENGUIN would be a warning that what follows in the whiteout might be a trigger.


- So, if you think something might be a PENGUIN, please post something like the green bit which follows.

"Possible penguin about.........(Type of Trigger)" The trigger might be:- child abuse, marital abuse/violence, paranoia, stalkers, death, etc. (It's important to indicate the type of trigger, so that people can avoid reading it if they need to).

Then, when you post, repost the word PENGUIN above the discussion. Then post the penguiny bit in white! And the phrase END OF PENGUIN when you have finished.

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(Harmless example follows here):-
PENGUIN

This is a penguin. A nasty, crotch biting penguin (CBP).
It isn't really! So you can look. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozGTv0hxhpc[/url]


END OF PENGUIN

(NB on a tenth-page repost of the etiquette, you can see these penguiny words because they are white against the green 'quote' background. On a normal post, they will be white against white, and so won't be seen on the thread.)

IMPORTANT: It has been ascertained that some posters to this thread have found that there are certain subjects which act as triggers, precipitating a worsening of their condition.
To protect these posters, you are respectfully requested NOT to discuss these subjects on this thread:-

Religion. (Please note: it is recognised that everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and we respect those beliefs. It is only because of the fact that religion does act as a trigger for some posters, that we exclude it from discussion.)
N.B. Please don't even mention the name of the religion.

The afterlife. The reason for this is explained in this thread by one poster, and there will be others for whom this is a trigger.

We ask and thank you for your co-operation in this matter.


.........:starmod:.....................................................................:starmod:................

!!!So, to reiterate..............******It should be pointed out that if anyone is feeling very distressed or close to a crisis, they do not have to worry about what they are posting, or whether it is a penguin for someone else or not. In a crisis situation, just post! We wouldn't want anyone to feel that they couldn't ask for help in case it's a penguin! The penguin thing only applies to a general discussion situation.******

- More suggestions please.............We stress that we are suggesting that we AGREE some Thread Etiquette to HELP people who might feel anxious about posting, we are not trying to IMPOSE rules, just relating this to facilitating groups, so that people feel safe and able to participate as fully as they can.

...............Thread Motto...............
Nos Omnes Ad Audiendum Parumper

Torry_Quine

Faerie thanks for that.[/COLOR]I have actually wondered about speaking to someone from church about my mum issues or this year will be unbearable.

jobbingmusician

Right, squish cupboard replenished. WaS, try to leave your bandage on overnight against infection xxxx Nice to meet you, Bexs. Elsien - I don't know how advocates survive, the amount of ignorance there is out there......

.....and apologies to anyone I have missed xxxxx

faerielight

it's a good idea tory.. is there a particular church member that you trust? Waves.. good to see you too My puter got a virus and I was without internet for a few days.. going old school sucked! I had to actually turn my TV on! I could happily give my telly away but I don't cope well without the net!

I'm getting nervous guys.. I've got my assessment for the trauma BPD service on fri.. a clinical psychologist and another worker are coming to my home.. my flat is so cluttered, I feel embarrased them coming to my home. And I'm worried that I will do my default mode of angry, stressy rant.. I really want to be articulate, but I feel so overwhelmed at the sheer variety of problems, it's going to be hard to summarise in a nutshell.. so much trauma and illness has happened in the last 5 years since I last got mental health support .