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Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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  • SingleSue
    SingleSue Posts: 11,718 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Torry I saw that other thread and to me, it's little more than playground antics. It is far simpler for a keyboard warrior to simply jump on your faith rather than put together a cohesive counter-argument.

    The logician in me says don't pay any attention to what is essentially a series of strokes that someone executed on a keyboard! However, this is obviously far easier said than done.

    Hopefully, you will have a reasonable sleep tonight (if you're anything like me, a "good" sleep is somewhat overambitious!) and things may seem a little better in the morning. I hope they do (( ))

    It's why I rarely mention my faith in public or on forums.
    We made it! All three boys have graduated, it's been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk - now having fun and games as a wheelchair user.
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 6 April 2016 at 8:25AM
    I have found that the best thing to do, purely because of the lack of visual and tonal cues when you're typing, is to respond once, with a placatory explanation of what you meant, and apologising for any unintended slight. Then, if they carry on with more posts, and/or if anyone else jumps on the bandwagon, to just leave it, and not respond further.

    If they haven't understood your post of explanation/conciliation, there's no point in dragging the matter on. Yes, it hurts to be misunderstood or castigated, but it's best to turn the other cheek in forum situations.

    I also think it's very important to use the emoticons to convey what we would normally convey with expressions, gestures etc.
    Putting a grin smiley or a wink smiley after a comment leaves the reader in no doubt that a comment is meant as a joke or a friendly dig. Putting an angel smiley indicates that you have no malicious intent, that you sympathise with them, that you think they have done something really nice etc.
    Even a sad smiley can convey that you are sad to have had to say what you said.

    Those little things can be so important in a post.

    :)



    (My favourite emoticon is the eek! It so does what it says on the tin! :eek: )
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • codemonkey
    codemonkey Posts: 6,534 Forumite
    Torry, can I ask a wee question, not to beat you up, I promise, just curious what with you being a highlander and all. I'll penguin it in case it's a trigger for anyone as it mentions religion. Would you be Free Church of Scotland at all? /End penguin
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    The other way to deal with hurts on other threads is to come on here and offload it to us, rather than lay yourself open to evisceration elsewhere! You'll get a hug and understanding here, and even if we don't agree with you, we'll still be very gentle.

    We don't like to see people hurt, whatever the reason. :A
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 6 April 2016 at 10:12AM
    whitewing wrote: »
    This may help Torry or it may be a massive crotch-biting penguin for you tonight. It is fine if you don't ever look at it. There is one quote I really like - not having been in your situation with your mum, so it may not seem as sensitive to you - which acknowledges the day and what it may mean. It is preceded by, 'it's as if'...


    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-therapy/201208/happy-thanaversary-the-day-passage

    I've just read this, WW, and my goodness! I never realised that so many people felt this! It was all exactly what I felt when I reached the young age at which my parent died, and what I still feel now that I am so much older than they were. Amazing! Thanks for that!

    I loved the quote you mentioned, so I have put it in a penguin....

    Penguin of the quote:
    It’s as if they’re saying: “I may have many more years, but don’t think that I have forgotten you or I have eclipsed you in any way.” End penguin.
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 6 April 2016 at 11:10AM
    f2b49b4c8c4f819c63c66ea9ce86aeac.jpg


    .



    bmljgqvbd5vecqowoxru.jpg


    Sigh. Now I want one of those tiny, weeny teddies.


    .
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,872 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I didn't bring up my faith in any way but someone else did obviously thinking they know me better than myself!

    code, no to your question and also i'm not a Highlander either.
    whitrewing, ive printed off the article and may read at some stage when not feeling so raw about it. Last night I realised the exact. date when it happens which I really wish I hadn't
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I didn't bring up my faith in any way but someone else did obviously thinking they know me better than myself!

    code, no to your question and also i'm not a Highlander either.
    whitrewing, ive printed off the article and may read at some stage when not feeling so raw about it. Last night I realised the exact. date when it happens which I really wish I hadn't

    Please don't worry, Torry. Nothing will happen to you. I was so apprehensive myself, but am still here 25 years later!
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,999 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 6 April 2016 at 5:12PM
    Warning. Rant alert.

    I have had a day of professionals who really should know better either denying all knowledge of the best interests process, or trying to tell me they've completed a decision specific capacity assessment without bothering to tell the person it's about that there's any decision to be made.
    The legislation has only been in force since 2007. Silly of me to expect people working in the field to have any knowledge of it at all.

    And breathe.
    Rant over.
    As you were.

    I am now off to take Gitdog to an additional training session. All I need to help the blood pressure and bring the day to a relaxing conclusion. :)
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Elsien, I saw this thread and giggled at how you might answer!
    :rotfl:


    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/70455849#Comment_70455849
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



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