Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Georgiegirl256

I love tattoo fixers, but haven't had a chance to watch any lately. There's a new series isn't there?

A dream expert would have a field day with your dreams tea!

Was watching 'Inside the Factory' last night, and they were inside the New Balance factory which is about 10 miles from where I live. I spent the whole time cringing at how bad our accent sounds on tv. :eek:

tea_lover

Ooh Flimby!!

Pyxis

Penguin reply to Georgie etc.

Georgie, I agree that the "I don't want to be here" probably means "I don't want to be here in this awful pain" as opposed to anything else.
Can't be 100% sure of course.

My suggestion would be to help with the feelings of worthlessness by picking up on the nice, good qualities they have and commenting appreciatively on them. Not in a false way, obviously, but if her hair looks nice, or you like the top she's wearing, or she's baked a nice cake, or she's just good at something, to make a point of commenting on it.

So often little compliments go unsaid, so it could boost her self-esteem a tiny bit.

If she's ok with being touched, a little touch of your hand on her arm or back can be boosting, too. If she says something funny or nice, agree and give that little touch.

A little touch conveys a huge amount - validation, agreement, acknowledgment, empathy and togetherness.

Another thing that can boost self esteem is to phone every now and then just for a chat or to tell her something random! Doesn't have to be a long chat, and conveys the message that you've been thinking of her and thought she'd like to know something.
Emails as well, especially for funny things.

Don't worry if she doesn't respond - very often you want people to contact you, but you don't have the energy to respond, so keep that contact up regardless.

Having how you feel accepted by someone is worth a million.

The good news is that if you are very feeling totally carp, talk to her about it.......... She's the one that will understand, and the fact that you are confiding in her will boost her esteem too.

End penguin.

Izadora

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I spent the whole time cringing at how bad our accent sounds on tv

Do you sound the same as the people they were showing though? I cringe whenever I see any of the cast from TOWIE on telly (I only ever managed 5 mins of watching the show, spent the whole time swearing at the TV and gave up) but my accent is nowhere near as noticeably Essex as theirs.

Tea - they are some very odd dreams!!

I had some very bizarre ones last night which involved Russian gangsters and IzHe getting involved with trying to bring them to justice. I woke up giggling at the fact that even in a dream I can't run so had to send someone else after him to take care of him...

Pyxis

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I love tattoo fixers, but haven't had a chance to watch any lately. There's a new series isn't there?

A dream expert would have a field day with your dreams tea!

Was watching 'Inside the Factory' last night, and they were inside the New Balance factory which is about 10 miles from where I live. I spent the whole time cringing at how bad our accent sounds on tv. :eek:

Which accent is that? I've forgotten where you are! (If it doesn't compromise your privacy, that is!)

Georgiegirl256

Thank you Pyxis :A Everyone offers such good advice on here, I love you all!

Yeah tea, the lovely seaside village of Flimby! :rotfl: Having said that, I've had many a good night out at the Social Club there when my best mate lived there before he moved to Manchester.

Georgiegirl256

Izadora wrote: »

Do you sound the same as the people they were showing though? I cringe whenever I see any of the cast from TOWIE on telly (I only ever managed 5 mins of watching the show, spent the whole time swearing at the TV and gave up) but my accent is nowhere near as noticeably Essex as theirs.
...

Pretty much the same, although I wouldn't say my accent is quite as harsh as theirs, I do tend to try and say at least the majority of words correctly! Me and D were cringing so bad when that lass said "nivva", or in other words 'never'. :rotfl:

There is a difference between the accents even between the two towns, and local people can tell. I used to work through in the town next to mine and everyone could tell that I wasn't from there.

Cumbrian Pyxis. We even have our own dictionary for our dialect. http://www.cumbriandictionary.co.uk/#D

I was surprised there wasn't subtitles up lol!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hello all! Special hugs to Georgie, I hope you feel a bit better today. I just had to look up Cumbria on a map, ooh, you are all the way up there! :rotfl:

My american friend and I have spent 4 days doing nothing but my family tree. I am finding it very cathartic surprisingly and it isn't a trigger like I feared it would be. My fathers side is noticeable for their total poverty going back 500 years! Many were servants or lived in workhouses and had very hard lives.

My mothers side is as I suspected. If anyone is interested I will post what I have discovered but it is a huge penguin so let me know. I wasn't the only family member to have the childhood I had, there are court cases, admissions to sanatoriums and imprisonments going back 200 years. As much as I feel sad that my relatives went through that there is a comfort in numbers. I am not the only one after all.

jobbingmusician

Sorry to be so far behind. Penguin for Georgie and anyone else who is feeling suicidal.

I did an ASIST course a while ago - which was really good. I would recommend it for anyone who would like to develop first aid skills in dealing with people who are suicidal. (The course is quite expensive but you can sometimes get free ones if trainers are in training to deliver the course.)

Anyway, I hesitate to summarise it here but thought some points from it might be quite useful. The first point, which is very scary but you just have to gather up your courage in both hands, is to ask the person whether they ARE feeling suicidal. And have they made plans. People can find it quite a relief to be able to acknowledge this and talk about it.

The second point is to encourage people to think about their options. People who are suicidal quite often can see only two options - living with this unbearable pain or ending it. You are there to offer a third option - safe for now. This can involve other services if someone is very mentally unwell, or can just involve a space to talk things through. (For example, in the case above where someone was deeply involved in money problems, fraud etc - a life is worth far more than this and the situation has got better with time and understanding. Far far better than the destruction caused to those left behind. )

I can't ever think of a situation where suicide is the best option without talking things properly through with people, or with someone. 'Safe for now' gives this space. To anyone out there - please please consider this and talk to someone, even if you feel your only option is the Samaritans.

jobbingmusician

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hello all! Special hugs to Georgie, I hope you feel a bit better today. I just had to look up Cumbria on a map, ooh, you are all the way up there! :rotfl:

My american friend and I have spent 4 days doing nothing but my family tree. I am finding it very cathartic surprisingly and it isn't a trigger like I feared it would be. My fathers side is noticeable for their total poverty going back 500 years! Many were servants or lived in workhouses and had very hard lives.

My mothers side is as I suspected. If anyone is interested I will post what I have discovered but it is a huge penguin so let me know. I wasn't the only family member to have the childhood I had, there are court cases, admissions to sanatoriums and imprisonments going back 200 years. As much as I feel sad that my relatives went through that there is a comfort in numbers. I am not the only one after all.

WaS - have an enormous cuddle. You are the one who has overcome nature and nurture to give soooo much on this thread xxxxxx