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Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

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Comments

  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
    Oh Calley. Can I please join your 'men are idiots and we are bigger idiots for listening to them' club? I have chocolate, and gin.
  • calleyw
    calleyw Posts: 9,896 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    tea_lover wrote: »
    Oh Calley. Can I please join your 'men are idiots and we are bigger idiots for listening to them' club? I have chocolate, and gin.

    Not sure they are idiots. Just don't understand them.

    Umm chocolate

    Yours

    Calley
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
  • Pyxis wrote: »
    I think that after a break-up, a lot of men search out another relationship before they are really ready to.

    Not sure this is an area where people can be split by sex, when my relationship ended my ex went straight to her new man (literally, told em she was leaving me, packed a case and her kids and was gone from the house we bought together in an hour). It was only at that point I learned from one of her oldest friends just how closely I had followed her previous partner and how this had been a pattern in her life since she left home at 16 to move in with what became her first husband - I am of the opinion that now is important, the past is the past so it doesn't matter, so never asked her about previous relationships. Rather had my eyes opened after it ended.

    When I quite by accident ended up in a new relationship with someone else a couple of years later, I was worried it was too soon, I know I was certainly in no condition for one any sooner than that. So I think it's more a personality than gender thing, some people, male or female, just don't like being / living alone. Have now been alone so long that I think I've possibly gone too far the other way and am too independent now, but I miss having someone to share things with, to spend hours talking with about life the universe and everything, and that makes me smile just when I turn to look at her.



    Calley, it's natural to grieve for a relationship when it ends, and also for the potential that a new one that was forming had; in some ways that can be just as hard to deal with because it's all bright and shiny and new and exciting, and full of unrealised possibilities. And the not understanding why the other person ended it just makes it harder unfortunately - been there and completely empathize.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • codemonkey
    codemonkey Posts: 6,534 Forumite
    edited 13 August 2016 at 1:48PM
    Hugs calley. I tended to go back on dating sites quite quickly after a break up, especially if the relationship wasn't a long one, not as a 'I need to be in a relationship again' but as a signal to myself that I was moving on. Although you went on too so maybe he was there for the same reasons. It's difficult with people newly out of relationships though because there are always residual feelings floating about and it gets confusing. Sorry he wasn't good enough for you.


    Tea. Massive hugs. What's happened?

    Pyxis!!! :j :j. I missed you!
    Eu não sou uma tartaruga. Eu sou um codigopombo.
  • Waves_and_Smiles
    Waves_and_Smiles Posts: 5,263 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 13 August 2016 at 1:59PM
    Well done on the garden, Pyxis! It's so lovely to have you back with us! Big welcome back hugs!

    Faerie, there are a lot of positive things in that post! Yes, I have three autoimmune conditions, Lupus, Addisons Disease and Hashimoto's Disease which is the official name for the thyroid disease we both have. I have very little thyroid left too because my antibodies have destroyed it just like you. It sounds worse than it is, the three are linked which is why I developed them together, a lot of people with Addisons go on to develop the other two. With medication they tend not to flare often apart from if Hashimotos plays up which triggers the others, Addisons is worse in hot weather and Lupus is worse when I am tired. I found the battle was getting them diagnosed especially as I had all the symptoms of Lupus for 15 years but it wasn't showing in blood tests until 5 years ago, it can do that sometimes.

    I promise you that you can live with autoimmune conditions and have a good life, you just have to be conscious that if you are feeling run down from lack of sleep, other illness or stress that they may flare so you have to take things very easy at those times. I find keeping up the thyroid medication the most important thing, as I said if Hashimoto's flares then the others tend to follow but it is manageable so not too bad really. I still have fun!

    I know it is scary when your health is unstable and BPD makes it a lot worse, I was terrified of my conditions for years. But 20 years on since the first one was diagnosed I am still here and I plan to be here in another 20 years too, now I just find them annoying when they limit me from doing things. I am not going to live my life as a slave to them and if they limit me in one way I'll just find something else to do that they don't affect. They will not beat me!

    Calley, as everyone has said some people just move on very quickly after relationships, it isn't a slight on his feelings about you. WaSp has never been single since he was 17 and I have no doubt that if he split with me he would immediately date again, in fact he admits he would. Some people cope that way. You know we are all here for you, you have done such good work on yourself lately and that was nothing to do with who you were dating, that was due to your own strength. You really have done so well the past few months, be proud of that. Have a hug.

    Tea, hang in there. I hope today is better. Big hugs.

    In cheery news I watched The Lego Movie. Everything is awesome, lalalala... :rotfl:
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • I have discovered the competitions forum and rather than doing what I was planning, last night and today have gone through the titles on all 200 or so pages and entered about 50 competitions :o :rotfl:

    Not sure what I'll do if I actually win a holiday for two anywhere, as I have no-one to take!
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • Good luck, ono! I keep thinking I should try competitions but it feels like hard work. There is no excuse for my laziness! :rotfl:
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
  • jobbingmusician
    jobbingmusician Posts: 20,347 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Hello everyone! VERY good to see you, Pyxis ((())).

    I'm away yet again, so will be reading, but posting only irregularly. However....

    who has a poorly washing machine? calley? Post symptoms on here and I will see if I can get the all-knowing guru, otherwise known as Mr JM, to diagnose and suggest remedies for you!
    Ex board guide. Signature now changed (if you know, you know).
  • faerielight
    faerielight Posts: 1,955 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Thanks guys.. Pyxis, it is a really good idea!! I def am tone deaf though! I remember when I had my 1st really long hospital admission, there was that series called Rock Quoir on TV and when they sang "Something inside so strong",bny Labbi Sifri it was incredible!! It really moved me, that song is so relevant! here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdQnAzSnnss This is so where I want to get back to.. rediscovering my strength of spirit! the rent/housing nightmearew was finally solved, when I dropped off my bank statements to agency, and they got their legal team to contqct halifax and halifax admitted all the faults and sorted it.. phew! I do feel a bit less stressed with that drama over!
    Many thanks to all who contribute on MSE :)
  • Pyxis
    Pyxis Posts: 46,077 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I have discovered the competitions forum and rather than doing what I was planning, last night and today have gone through the titles on all 200 or so pages and entered about 50 competitions :o :rotfl:

    Not sure what I'll do if I actually win a holiday for two anywhere, as I have no-one to take!

    I'm sure you'd have no end of takers! :rotfl:

    The only problem with competition prize holidays is that they are for two sharing a room! :rotfl:

    I know I wouldn't want to share a room even with a friend. I'm too restless at night, and wake early etc. and would be worrying about disturbing the other person so much, it would spoil the holiday!


    Re. the men and women thing, Obviously I was not talking about all men and all women, just a general trend. Honestly, I was talking from my experience over the years, hearing about many other people's experiences, listening to progs on the TV and radio, plus articles in mags, over years and years. Otherwise I wouldn't have generalised.
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).

    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



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