Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

jobbingmusician

Yes, thank you WaS. And now let me introduce you to the Bucket family.

There are two buckets. One carries all the shame you have for being ill and making up stuff (because of your illness, let me remind you.) And sometimes you feel this bucket is weighing you down. The other, which you don't seem to have noticed sitting in the corner, is the bucket which carries all the good stuff which has come from you being so honest and open, especially on this forum.

It's surprising you haven't noticed the good stuff bucket (GSB), actually, because it's more than 20 times bigger than the bad stuff bucket and outweighs it astronomically. In fact, no-one knows exactly how big the GSB is - it's one of those scientific mysteries (we know it's there, but not its mass lol) due to the help given not only to people on this thread but also to invisible hummingbirds, who flutter constantly around the GSB.

tea_lover

Great post WaS

To steal shamelessly from Frasier here...... "so I'm alone, because I'm afraid of being alone?!"

Sums up a lot of my behaviour when I think about it... attack is the best form of defence and all that rubbish.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, JM thank you! What a lovely thing to say!

I love Frasier, tea! I can watch episodes endlessly.

That quote totally sums me up. I was thinking after I wrote that post how many friendships I have ended before I thought they might end and it's well into double figures. Usually for ridiculous reasons like a friend has told me how they much they get on with another friend. That used to immediately translate to my brain as "They are a better person than me, you like them more, you won't want me anymore, I am not good enough for you, you are going to go away" so I would run before I could be rejected due to low self-esteem. Over and over again for years.

I am quite a lot better now, I still think those things often but try not react to them and if it comes to it I will actually apologise and tell a friend if I am feeling insecure. Fortunately, most of my friends know me well enough to realise this might happen and that I am not telling them that they can't have other friends, but that it is better for me if I can discuss it and they can tell me that they won't leave me because then it stops ruminating around my head and chances are I won't run. Then I say sorry again. A lot.

Izadora

Great news about the win Calley and I hope you enjoy whatever you decide to spend it on. I hope all goes well with lego man too.

Faerie, I'm glad the group went a bit better and sorry about your friend. Although cutting contact will be upsetting if it's less painful than dealing with him right now then you need to do whatever will best protect you.

WaS, as always, thank you for the insight and honesty.

Weight loss penguinI did it!!!! I managed to lose nearly a stone and a half, which was 10% of my starting weight, in 9 weeks so won the bet with my boyfriend, just about edged the bet with our friends and can fit back into some of my size 14s. I still feel quite disgustingly fat most of the time but realised the other week that some of it is my perception rather than reality. I was looking through photos that my brother-out-law had put on facebook and didn't realise it was me in one of them at first because it was from the back and I looked a lot smaller than I ever think of myself as being. End penguin.

Holiday tomorrow!! To say I'm excited would be putting it mildly. 2 weeks of getting to spend quality time with OH, relaxing, swimming and just generally enjoying life. See you all in a couple of weeks.

tea_lover

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I love Frasier, tea! I can watch episodes endlessly.

I do watch episodes endlessly :rotfl:. Have got the box set... I dread to think how much of it I actually watch! If I'm working from home I stick a Frasier DVD on in the background and then realise it's been on for 9 hours or so! :rotfl:

calleyw

Afternoon Campers,

Hugs and squishes and handshakes to all.

WaS as per usual a very personal but insightful post.
Thanks to all. I will wait to the cheque arrives to :beer:
What a really bad nights sleep. I was out the door at just after 5 am for a walk. Back in an hour later. Led down on the sofa to listen to my audio book. And woke up about 45 mins ago :eek: And feel really rough :rotfl:

I think that is what I will call him the Lego Man :rotfl: what started that off was I have a a lego pink luggage tag on my handbag. Yes I know big kid. I do keep a kite and bubbles in the boot of my car :eek:

Anyway off to enter some more competitions you never know.

Catch you all later. Take care.

Yours

Calley

Lambyr

tea_lover wrote: »

Great post WaS

To steal shamelessly from Frasier here...... "so I'm alone, because I'm afraid of being alone?!"

Sums up a lot of my behaviour when I think about it... attack is the best form of defence and all that rubbish.

That was in Frasier? Aww, pants.

That script I wrote and have mentioned here before contains the following dialogue (excuse formatting):

RONALD
I always used to think of the worst
thing that could happen. I lived my
life in fear. I was so afraid of
being left alone that I sought
being alone.

CARLY
That doesn't make sense.

RONALD
I know.

STEPHANIE
No, I get it... It's like you know
that someone will eventually no
longer be part of your life, and
you're scared of that, so you avoid
letting people become part of your
life so you're not hurt when
they're not?

I thought I was being clever and insightful! :rotfl:

jobbingmusician

I think you were, though (being clever and insightful!) xxx

tea_lover

jobbingmusician wrote: »

I think you were, though (being clever and insightful!) xxx

So do I! For some quirk of human nature this seems to be something that we all work out for ourselves, in our own time. There's nothing intrinsically earth-shattering about realising this - and yet, time and time again, we come to that realisation individually. It seems to be an area where all the previous experience of others is blanked out, until our own light-bulb moment.

Just look at the experience of this on here - in the space of a few posts we've discovered that a good handful of us have at some point worked this out about ourselves (or about others). Yet we don't learn it from others somehow... it has to come from ourselves.

Right.... that makes much more sense in my head than the attempt to write it down. This is one of those times we need to be having a chat in the pub rather than typing :rotfl:.

Pyxis

Yes, Lambyr, you were! Just because one person comes up with an insight, doesn't mean that someone else can't come up with the same insight quite independently!

You've phrased your differently, so no-one can accuse you of plagiarism.



Calley, in the Acropolis Museum in Athens, there is a model made of Lego of the entire Acropolis site, and there are also Lego models of all the famous people that have visited the site over history.

I might have a photo somewhere.......

No, can't find one, but here's a web image.......