Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

heartbreak_star

Penguin - work and stupid brain weasels...

I love my job. I am doing well with my job from what I can gather.

But the weasels are having a field day.

Had a catchup with my manager this morning. It went OK, he's under a bit of pressure but trying to keep it off us, and is happy with my work in general. I've been pulling long hours and I got thanked and praised for that.

But...right at the end of the meeting he said "I've got to nudge you about something though. The guys you sit with would be distracted by butterflies and sometimes your banter gets a bit loud. I need them to concentrate as they've got really finicky work on at the moment and they're not as good at multitasking as you. Just...minimise the banter a bit please. It's not always you that starts it, and I know you sometimes try to stop it, but there it is. I've had it in the neck from a couple of people about it so I'm giving you a heads-up."

Cue me stammering, blushing, and falling over my own feet to apologise. Manager stressed it's not just me, and he'll be giving them the same nudge, and then we had a laugh about Red Dwarf, but...weasels don't care. All I processed was "Shut up. Someone in the office hates you. You talk too much and it's going to lose you your job."

I'm still on probation period for another month and I've just bought a new car. I'm currently crying in the back workshop.

Sorry for the downer I just needed to let it out

HBS x

Izadora

HBS - brain weasels are evil and try to twist everything anyone says or does. If your manager had spoken to other people about the noise of banter and not you the weasels would've told you that nobody likes you and you're not enough of a part of the group for your banter to register.
I know that it's MUCH easier said than done but try not to listen to them and remember that, in having to say something to appease someone who's being a bit sensitive to noise, your manager praised your ability to multi-task. Give the weasels a big na-nana-naa-naa (complete with hand waggling in front of your nose) from me.

Pyxis - petition signed.

Pyxis

HBS....... focus on the fact that he's pleased with your work, and the fact that you put in long hours.

Nobody is going to fire someone who works hard and well.

Obviously some of your colleagues are bothered by the banter, and instead of speaking to you and whoever else about it, they went to the manager.
That can be understandable if they felt awkward about bringing the subject up with you themselves.

It might also be that their work hasn't been up to scratch, so they are blaming it on being distracted!

If that's the case, they won't have that excuse in future!

Anyway, it sounds like you're doing well, so give yourself a pat on the back! :T

System

Urgghhhhhh

I hate this illness.

I hate being depressed
I hate (most of the time) being manic
I hate being anxious

Felt low all week and feel bad for Swain, hes been my rock but i hate being down around him cos he does make me so happy but right now i just can;t feel anything. I spent monday/tuesday sleeping as i felt too depressed to function. So i wasted my days off. Work is fine and im coping but i feel like im wearing a mask and pretending to be ok when im really not. I'm going to try an have a bath and read a self help book my friend gave me

[Deleted User]

'My' shrink wanted to discharge me some months ago, but my GP and wife who could both see that things 'weren't normal', convinced her that I should have another appointment - months have passed though.

It's almost like a 'silent screaming' in my head, and my wife although very understanding has a stressful enough job in a school including with special needs children, so I try not to burden her too much. Of an evening (like now), she'll be in the lounge and I'll be here, each having our 'personal space' but knowing that we're not alone.

I manage to take care of household bills (if I open them), and wash up and cook, but not much more if I'm honest.

I sleep every afternoon and am ready for bed again any time about now. Little things upset me and become bigger than they really are ... I mumble to myself continually and talk out loud in different accents. I even think in accents ...

Sounds stupid, and I know that it is ... the worst part is people not being able to understand what MH issues feel like. My GP summed it up as "If you were on crutches, people would think 'poor Sleazy'. But because you look ok, they assume that you are"

System

penguin

having really really graphic thoughts of self harm, and an overwhelming urge to do it again. ive gone nearly 4 years without doing it and Swain would be devastated and i can;t do that to him. i just really dont want these thoughts and images on my head. i dont know what to do

[/penguin]

geminilady

Messed up

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too tired to remember how to penguin but as you mentioned a few days ago your anti depressant proberly needs adjusting.Focus on swain and how well you have done for 4 years would be lovely to make it to 5.Ring your gp tomorrow he said you could if you needed help.

dandy-candy

So many of us are having it bad at the moment. I can't help thinking the shorter days are making it worse. Today after the clocks changed I looked out of the window at 5.15pm and it was pitch black. My DH doesn't get home from work until gone 6pm and I know week days will be hard for me until he gets back even though my DD is at home and out of work.
I've been living in what I would call terror the last week, my anxiety is very bad. I'm on my meds but I think I'm starting menopause as my periods are every 6 weeks now, so I'm emotionally all over the place. When I'm alone there are moments when I literally crouch on the floor in the corner of the room feeling so afraid of I dont know what, and saying aloud over and over to myself "please help me" I'm so ashamed of myself, I wish I could snap out of it.
Hugs to those who need them. I wish I could make us all better, but all I can say is that you are not alone.

jobbingmusician

MessedUp - a penguin for you

Do you know what 'helps' you when you self harm? I ask because some people say it's the pain which helps them distract from the rest of life. I am really not a self harm expert but I am a great believer in Mr Google - and so found what looks quite helpful from the Royal College of Psychiatrists, of all places (you will probably know that I am *cough* not totally uncritical of psychiatrists, but this looks good.)

I do hope it's helpful <3

https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/PDF/Self-Harm Distractions and Alternatives FINAL.pdf


I had to stop it being an URL as the URLs are all blue on here, so you'll have to copy and paste it. (No point in having a blue penguin as they are a bit visible )

AAAARGH! For some reason the linky has a break in the last bit, which should say pdf without a break. Whatever I do I can't see a break, and even if I retype it the linky still says p df. Just edit it so that the end says pdf!

Waves_and_Smiles

So sorry to hear so many people are having a hard time. It feels like an appropriate time to say a little about where I work in case it helps anyone. Before I start please save the details for yourselves if you wish or mention it to others. I have permission from the Forum Team on MSE to mention this once only, I can't ever again as I am a company representative because I work there (others who don't work there can mention it on MSE though!).

IMAlive.org is the only online realtime crisis network available right now. Sometimes it can feel too much to pick up a phone and talk to someone when you are distressed so we offer online chat instead. 30% of people who call a crisis line hang up when they hear a human voice so we are trying to offer an alternative. You do not have to be suicidal to talk to us, if you feel like you are in crisis it is fine to contact us anytime about anything. Whether you are in debt, in a mental health crisis or suffering any other problem it is fine to chat to us. We are similar to The Samaritans except we are international and we can try to find you addresses and phone numbers to services that might help you if you request them.

Chat is completely anonymous, we have no way of tracing you at all. We are available mostly 24 hours a day but there might be some hours in the mornings or early afternoons when we aren't because we are still training volunteers to fill all the slots. We are always open until from 5pm to 6am.

As you can tell from my posts here training is very thorough and we put in a lot of hours learning before we are allowed to work. We come from all different backgrounds and life experiences and are varied in age. If we can ever help, please go to the IMAlive website and click chat now and someone will be with you as soon as they can (if you are really unlucky you might get me :rotfl:).

Now I shall never mention it again. Thanks Forum Team! :T