Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

Pyxis

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Last night was absolutely awful. I'd been out to the cinema with friends but as soon as I got home became totally distraught. I was sobbing and screaming for hours until I eventually fell into a fitful sleep at about 3am. Woke up several times.

Today I'm totally exhausted and my head aches. I just keep repeating in my head being told there was something wrong.

(((((((((((Torry))))))))))))

Torry_Quine

Nothing changes. More official post to deal with so that's another phone call tomorrow. Someone said to me surely I was feeling better and was surprised when I said I wasn't.

I'm getting further away from him and it hurts so much, I can't leave him behind. I'm crying again.

Pyxis

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Nothing changes. More official post to deal with so that's another phone call tomorrow. Someone said to me surely I was feeling better and was surprised when I said I wasn't.

I'm getting further away from him and it hurts so much, I can't leave him behind. I'm crying again.

Whoever said that to you was very crass.

Don't take any notice, and don't feel guilty for your grief.

People feel helpless when they can't do anything to alleviate your pain, and subconsciously want grievers to be 'back to normal' so that they don't have to worry about it so much any more, iyswim.

Don't you worry about them, and don't hide your feelings to save other people's.

(((((((((((((Torry)))))))))))))))

mellymoo74

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Nothing changes. More official post to deal with so that's another phone call tomorrow. Someone said to me surely I was feeling better and was surprised when I said I wasn't.

I'm getting further away from him and it hurts so much, I can't leave him behind. I'm crying again.

They were very tactless
It takes as long as it takes I will be 12 years without my dad who is the only reason I am able to function and it still hurts. I have grown a callous so can think of him and smile but still have days where I cry.
All I can say is that you are in my thoughts xxxxxxxx

[Deleted User]

mellymoo74 wrote: »

They were very tactless
It takes as long as it takes I will be 12 years without my dad who is the only reason I am able to function and it still hurts. I have grown a callous so can think of him and smile but still have days where I cry.
All I can say is that you are in my thoughts xxxxxxxx

Appreciate what you're saying.
My dad has been dead 21 years now, and I think about him more now than then.

At the time, I 'just got on with stuff'. Seems naff, but I always wanted him to outlive my mum as he'd had such a tough life. I do love my mum btw, and try to speak to her every day - she's 91. My dad would have been 93.

I wish that I'd been nicer to him, appreciated him more, listened more. But that's life, and what's gone is gone. If it's God's wish that I ever see him again, I hope that I'll appreciate him more and what he tried to do for me.

System

*edited for privacy*

Someone i dont like is looking like they will get promoted, really dont get along with the and thinking of tramsferring to another shop if they get the job

System

After giving it some thought, i'm possibly jumping the gun a bit, one she hasn;t even got the job yet and two even if she does get it shes under 18 sso won;t be on closes with me. I'm going to try and be the bigger person and give her a chance. I'll see how it goes. If it ends up being a nightmare i'll have another think over my options.

Had my antidepressent increased last week, felt very rough for the first few days but the side effects have thankfully subsided and im back at work. Hopefully it lifts the depression. Got given the details for local IAPT services, thinkingg of trying to get 1:1 treatment. Has anyone else used IAPT (improving access to psychologial therapies) before? Did it help? Was it any good?

Pyxis

Sounds like a plan, MessedUp! :T:T

jobbingmusician

Torry, I am touched that you feel that you are leaving your husband behind. In my mind it isn't like that. I'm honestly not sure about heaven but I am sure that HE is looking after YOU at the moment. There is no way you will leave him behind. Whatever you think you are forgetting is your mind playing tricks on you, and you feeling anxious. Honestly - he is safe in your heart forever, whatever your mind thinks. Memories are about more than memories, IYSWIM - they are about feelings and love. You will never leave him behind but you will eventually stop hurting in this sort of raw way.

Torry_Quine

jm thanks so much for your wise words. I go between wanting him to be happy in heaven to wanting him to know how much I miss him. My grief is all I have.

Even adverts for new series we watched together have me in floods of tears.

I've been wearing one of his t-shirts to bed and put one on my cuddly cat.

I can't begin to imagine getting rid of any of his things.

I don't even tidy up, there's no one here to care

I watch Wimbledon but without much enthusiasm either.

It's just awful and I want to go to sleep and wake up and find it was all a mistake