Fat, forty and financially f**ked

Decades of overspending and overeating have left me in a bit of a state. I sporadically try to fix both things but I never truly admit the real situation.

So in black and white, for all to see:

We have lived beyond our means for our entire adult lives.

We have been bailed out by lucky windfalls, the bank of mum and dad, the bank of mum in law and dad in law, credit cards, overdrafts and occasionally plain hard work.

We have had no income for about 2 years due to setting up a business (we had an income for the first two years but then there was a thing and you know how it goes...) . We have borrowed an appalling amount of money to do this from family and DH continues to flog what I suspect is, if not a dead horse, a pretty lame and sickly one. I have now gone back to paid employment to try and bail us out and DH is making a last ditch attempt to turn the business round and begin paying off that part of our debt.

At the beginning of last week we owed the following:

Overdraft £500
CC1 £1400
CCC2 £4100
Family 1 £2700
Family 2 £eleventygajillion. So much, in fact, that my hand would get tired typing the numbers. In the interests of brevity we'll call the total £8700 plus a metric f**ktonne of business debt.

We have managed to pay off £2000 of overdrafts in the last six months (by borrowing from family 2 probably).

We have been walking a very stressful tightrope for approximately 10 years and I cannot take any more ineffectual scrimping. No point spending a week making cheap home cooked meals only to order a takeaway to reward your frugality.

And I'm 5 stone overweight.

I'll post this now before I chicken out but will be back later.
«13456745

Comments

  • I'm lying in bed wondering where all the money went.

    We do have 3 children and DH has had 3 redundancies (2 with no pay off at all) but there's such a huge amount unaccounted for.
  • Kitten868
    Kitten868 Posts: 1,785 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    As much as it is important to acknowledge why you are in debt and see where money goes to stop wasting it I think you need to draw a line now. Don't get too caught up in the pity party as it'll detract from your focus. We are all here because we mucked up somewhere. You are amongst friends :) work out an SOA to see what your expenses are and what to cut back on.
    So then what's your aim? How about clear your overdraft by summer? Clear a credit card by Christmas? Reducing your creditors reduces your minimum payments. Soon you'll be repaying your family a princely sum :)
    Keep at it and don't get down hearted xxx
    Loan 1 £5200/£8000
    Loan 2 £300/£5800
    Total £5500/£13800
  • Enterprise_1701C
    Enterprise_1701C Posts: 23,409 Forumite
    Photogenic First Anniversary First Post Mortgage-free Glee!
    It also sounds like you are lacking in self worth.

    For starters, you have managed to get a job, that in itself is fantastic and deserves applause. This should allow you to at least start to feel good about yourself. If you feel good then better things follow.

    If you are genuinely fat (yes I know you say 5 stone overweight, but is that just your opinion), do you eat out of boredom? If so, find something to occupy your hands and mind when you would normally turn to food.

    As for the finances, as Kitten says, write down your SOA and set targets.

    A good way to start saving money is to downgrade everything you buy by one standard, if you buy branded goods go to shops own etc etc.
    When you have kids money disappears. What you have to question is where you spend it. Do you buy kids clothes in Next or Asda?
    What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare
  • Thank you for the kind words. Yes, safe to say I am lacking in self worth. But I am 15 stone and 5'3"...

    We are pretty good at sensible spending for everyday things and then splurge on a takeaway or something and it just means that our outgoings outweigh our income by a small amount but multiply that by a lot of months and I suppose that is how we got here.

    I've made some positive progress so far:

    1. Told DH that he needs to be bringing something to the family pot asap
    2. Told DH that the family budget will no longer include his smoking - he will have to make the business pay if he wants tobacco.
    3. Doing a bit of baking for someone today which will earn a bit but the down side is my next pay packet will be a slim one as SSP... Hopefully back to work next week and no more sick days!
    4. Did some rejigging of various bits of money and paid the odds on both credit cards.

    So quite a positive start.

    Kids clothes all from supermarket although I have been known to buy DD stuff from Boden when it is in the clearance sale eg £5 for jeans. SOA on the way :eek:
  • cbsexec
    cbsexec Posts: 577 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary PPI Party Pooper
    Well done for acknowledging you need to do something. There are so many helpful people on this board just take their advice and you will get there. Its not easy but it can be done. Good luck.
  • Household Information
    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 3
    Number of cars owned.................... 2

    Monthly Income Details[/b]
    Monthly income after tax................ 1000
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
    Benefits................................ 740
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 1740


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 364.3
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
    Rent.................................... 0
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 110
    Electricity............................. 36
    Gas..................................... 36
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 39.8
    Telephone (land line)................... 0
    Mobile phone............................ 0
    TV Licence.............................. 12.12
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
    Internet Services....................... 29.4
    Groceries etc. ......................... 350
    Clothing................................ 50
    Petrol/diesel........................... 180
    Road tax................................ 40
    Car Insurance........................... 30
    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 6
    Childcare/nursery....................... 70
    Other child related expenses............ 20
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10.4
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
    Buildings insurance..................... 15
    Contents insurance...................... 0
    Life assurance ......................... 49.56
    Other insurance......................... 0
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 70
    Haircuts................................ 30
    Entertainment........................... 90
    Holiday................................. 175
    Emergency fund.......................... 0
    Contact lenses.......................... 30
    Total monthly expenses.................. 1873.58


    Assets
    Cash.................................... 0
    House value (Gross)..................... 180000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 1500
    Other assets............................ 4000
    Total Assets............................ 185500


    Secured & HP Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Mortgage...................... 39100....(364.3)....0
    Total secured & HP debts...... 39100.....-.........-

    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
    Capital One CC.................1400......22.95.....30
    HSBC CC........................4100......105.......17.4
    HSBC OD........................500.......0.........0
    Family ........................2700......0.........0
    Total unsecured debts..........8700......127.95....

    Monthly Budget Summary
    Total monthly income.................... 1,740
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,873.58
    Available for debt repayments........... -133.58
    Monthly Unsecured debt repayments....... 127.95
    Amount short for making debt repayments. -261.53

    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 185,500
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -39,100
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -8,700
    Net Assets.............................. 137,700
  • Can't remember interest rate on mortgage and don't know what the interest on the overdraft is. This is realistic expenditure for normal life but obviously at the moment we are not putting anything aside for christmas and birthdays and holiday amount is the average for every single weekend away etc over the last few years.
  • Goal number one - CLEAR CAPITAL ONE as that is a scary rate of interest.
  • Both cars need MOT and tax this week. Both now booked in for Thursday although DH's needs new tyres beforehand which are being done today. I have £300 put aside for all of this which I am hoping will cover it all. Will have to tax both and pay monthly this year as things are so tight but if they pass with no work needed then will pay for 6 months up front.

    Think we all have enough clothes and school uniform to get through the rest of the school year but DD has gone through the elbow of her school jumper and DS2 bent over and created a 5 inch rip in the seat of his school trousers on Monday (not repairable sadly). He does have two other pairs and if he would just grow another inch he could move on to the next bag of hand me downs from DS1. Will look in my bag of wool and see if I can find a match to darn DD's jumper :cool:

    DS2 also has a hole in his school shoes but I've rechecked the uniform policy and it doesn't mention shoes so he can wear trainers :T

    We have plenty of food to last us until Saturday's shop. Have been using click and collect recently and managing to keep the bill down to £65ish which leaves us with £15 in the budget for top up shops and stuff I forgot. This is really easily doable. I am deactivating our Just Eat account to remove temptation as we too often grab a takeaway when we're all exhausted. Nearly got a couple of portions of chips after rugby tournament on Saturday but resisted and ate the ends of lots of packets of fishfingers etc from the freezer with mash and peas.

    Other spends this week will include tickets for the shows the kids are in next week. We're going to one each so we save a bit!

    Last rugby matches of the season on Sunday which means a few pounds saved each week until September.
  • Just Eat account deleted. But not before I had looked at how much we had spent. Last year £675 and so far this year £110:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
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