Fat, forty and financially f**ked

brizzledfw

More cleaning??! Suppose put that way it does have its advantages

Theamazingshrinkingwoman

Seriously, debt busting is making my house very tidy!

Spends today so far:

£5 Gymnastics for DS2 - had been promised for ages but is a one off.

£8 food shop so far. Not a good use of budget but will go to Aldi later for the rest of the shopping. Just talked ourselves out of chipshop chips for supper - will get breaded fish and oven chips from Aldi. :A

ali-t

Keep up the good work and get the family on board to make moneysaving a mission!

chevalier

Well done on realising that you can't go on as you are any longer.

Here are my thoughts, feel free to ignore as you will.
Food 350 - is this really true? Or is it more than that if you pop to the shops for milk type thing? Can you bulk buy and cook?

Make sure that the business debt is with the business. Ie that you haven't got outgoings that are the business on the personal SOA. It is important to know how the business is doing if it isn't being subbed.

What does the business do? Has your OH been in touch with Business Link etc/local chamber of commerce to see if they can help with leads or any other help? Are the books up to date so you know how much tax and vat you are due to pay?

What can he do to generate more work? Is he using a network of friends to spread the word he has time available to commit to a new project? Is his pricing keen (ie not making a loss on everything he does because he is cheap.) So that in his per hour price is factored in any materials he needs or whatever. Sometimes people don't like the cheapest option because they worry they aren't buying quality. If he is in competition with other businesses, then maybe you could help by phoning around them posing as a potential customer and see what they charge?

You have identified that you can't support his smoking from the family pot. If the business is on its last legs then perhaps he needs to talk to his GP about cessation. Can you still get free patches to help give up?

How old are the children? Can they start self funding via a Saturday/evening job? If any of them are over 18 and in full time work, how much dig money are they paying?

Good luck with working through this
chev

Mkl79

Hi. I am pretty new to all this myself so tell me to run and jump if you want!!
I think you should take a step back,break things down and look at them all seperatly. Firstly by your wording and the things you say you sound very positive (unlike me) and have a happy and supportive family and home life (also unlike me),so this is a very good thing that will get you through the toughest of times.
I really am not trying to speak out of turn here but maybe my experiance can help. I run my own business and it too is the main reason for the massive debt we are in and is not making anywhere near the money it was a few years ago,so believe me when i say your husband is going through hell every day just getting out of bed and dragging himself to work feeling that he and his business is failing his family. Again,i dont know you or your husband,and it sounds like you already try hard to support each other but i know this feeling of failure first hand and its not something i wish on anyone so maybe a long chat about how he is doing/where it is going would be good rather than (as my wife and parents do) telling him he needs to earn money asap or else. (Seriously,not judging,just trying to pass on my experiance,feel free to ignore).
You dont need to and should'nt deprive yourself TOO much. Yes look for bargains here and there but i think depriving yourself too much leads to bingeing later on, wether its food/shopping/a holiday,so cut yourself a bit of slack. Although your husband should stop smoking if things are that bad. When i did that saving alone helped for over a year until it got swallowed up into the larger pot of crap!
Finally,when you do extra work ie baking (in my case taking someone to the airport) and earmark it to pay a credit card other things always ALWAYS crop up,they just do. I found it better to give over more of my/our income towards debts and then try to make extra money on the side to keep in 'the pot' as it were. That way you pay towards your debt and there is less pressure/annoyance if the extra work gets cancelled or you have to spend it elsewhere.
Hope i have'nt offended anywhere as you sound like a poitive person. With yor attitude you will sort it out no problem!

Theamazingshrinkingwoman

No offence caused by anything! I welcome all comments. Yes, I'm generally very positive. As my best friend says, "you don't want to be there when the laughing stops"!

Yes, I am aware DH is dragging himself to work each day and it's very hard on him. Can't go into too much detail but yes, he's getting the support he can. VAT etc all up to date. Thanks though.

Believe it or not £350 is accurate for groceries. Keeping a spending diary at the moment and it seems to be showing that there is a steady trickle of child related costs like the non uniform days previously mentioned that I don't always allow for. My dad pays for all their music lessons luckily or I really would be f**ked.

I will put extra earnings in the pot - I would love to have something of an emergency fund eventually.

Love the idea of charging the kids rent but they're 12, 9 and 6. Am toying with selling them but apparently that's frowned on. May stop feeding them because they all keep growing and need new shoes :rotfl:

My biggest worry at the moment is getting through April - we're away on rugby tour for two nights. Accomodation all paid for but need to find food money. Am currently researching the area but it's going to be fairly costly. Have had a couple of ideas like taking a bag of apples and some brioche for breakfast on the first day. We'll be at Butlins and there are no cooking facilities :mad: On previous tours we have shared cooking with other families and kept the costs down really well.

Theamazingshrinkingwoman

He's had the cessation support twice so doesn't qualify for any more unfortunately. I am absolutely adamant that he isn't getting money from me for smoking though.

brizzledfw

How's it going Amazing?

Theamazingshrinkingwoman

Hello! It's going ok. Whole family seem to have had a shift in thinking:money:

Good news includes:
I'll get full pay this month - was worried it would be ssp but apparently not which is fantastic.
I talked my way out of paying in a multi storey car park which saved me £5
We've been having regular fakeaways - DH arrived home with the ingredients to make kebabs yesterday because he fancied a takeaway which is a HUGE change
We have hardly spent anything on petrol in March
Supermarket budget pretty much ok
I've started doing surveys here and there which is making no real difference to how busy I am but the points are racking up!
I have had packed lunches every day I've worked

I think we're doing ok but it will be slow progress - interested to see what balances look like at the beginning of April!:p

Theamazingshrinkingwoman

Oh and DH has massively cut down smoking and hasn't asked for money for it at all. I must have looked well scary when I told him I wasn't funding it any more!