Moving in with partner and combining money

Mojisola

mark5 wrote: »

I'm guessing this guy is later 30's or older so he's probably quite set in his ways and not used to sharing his finances, it will take time.

That would worry me even more - if he is set in his ways.

How is he going to cope with two children and all their toys and stuff around in 'his' house? Is he going behave like a step-father or just a man who happens to live with their mother?

foolofbeans

I can understand the new partner of a person who has children not wanting to contribute financially if there is a parent without care who should be doing that job. Unfortunately state benefits assume that any person living with a parent is financially responsible and they withdraw financial benefits because of this.
I know a few couples that ran into financial difficulties after merging families as the income drop can be huge.
OP please be aware that children are expected to carry on in education or employment with training until they are 18. If children stay in education you will have to pay for their travel costs. If they start an apprenticeship then child benefit and maintenance will stop and they will have to pay for their travel and any associated costs to get to work.
If OP's children go to university the income of OP and her partner will be taken into account for student finance which could mean the children receive less grant or loan and it will be expected that OP will make up the shortfall. Moving in together could cost her children's education.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

That would worry me even more - if he is set in his ways.

How is he going to cope with two children and all their toys and stuff around in 'his' house? Is he going behave like a step-father or just a man who happens to live with their mother?

With the additional stress of one of them having a disability.

boliston

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I can't imagine not knowing all about someone's finances after being in a relationship with them for 3 months, let along 3 years!

I think a lot depends if you are married or not - just living with someone should not mean having to share NON joint costs - I would hate the thought of having someone else know how i spend MY money after joint costs such as rent and utilities are all paid.

missbiggles1

boliston wrote: »

I think a lot depends if you are married or not - just living with someone should not mean having to share NON joint costs - I would hate the thought of having someone else know how i spend MY money after joint costs such as rent and utilities are all paid.

There's a difference between knowing how someone spends their money and knowing how much they have to spend.

Mojisola

Monkeychops16 wrote: »

My partner knows that my benefit's will stop. He knows all my income and outgoings

Monkeychops16 wrote: »

No I don't and I'm not sure what he has left as he doesn't tell me..

So it's okay for him to know all about your finances but hasn't shared his information with you?

ladymarmalade1970

Hate to be the bearer of bad new but fairly sure that from next year you aren't allowed to offset mortgage interest at all on a property that you let out.

This could end up actually costing you more money than you make!

Please someone correct me if i am wrong as i have a rental property and plan to let my older children live in it when this change kicks in.

Guest101

ladymarmalade1970 wrote: »

Hate to be the bearer of bad new but fairly sure that from next year you aren't allowed to offset mortgage interest at all on a property that you let out.

This could end up actually costing you more money than you make!

Please someone correct me if i am wrong as i have a rental property and plan to let my older children live in it when this change kicks in.

May want to check the terms of your mortgage on that one.

LannieDuck

You're about to start paying £200 a month on top of your current mortgage. Two options:

1. See if your bf would be happy to receive rent from you only as and when you have tenants in your house.

2. Move your bf into your house and have him pay you rent. This would also save the upheaval of your children having to move.

74jax

I was in a 'similar' position. I had my own placed (mortgaged) and hubby had his own placed (owned). He moved in with me and earned approx. 4 times more than me at the time, I have 1 DD.

When he moved in my Child Tax Credit stopped as did Child Benefit so I was considerably worse off - going off my incomings.


However, we split all the bills and he paid 3/4 and I paid 1/4 towards them (in proportion to our incomings).


He rents out his place and so he has that as extra income which he couldn't have should he still live there.


We had been dating for 8 years prior to living together so knew each other really well (spending habits etc) and we moved in once engaged so we knew we were in it for the long haul so to speak.


I still do spend the majority toward my DD, he doesn't really contribute that way but I never feel I need to ask him to either, if that makes sense.


I never run short in a month and he still has way more than me, but even though we're married now nothing is combined other than out bills account. Should I always spend all my incomings then we'd re-assess things, but as it stands we both don't spend everything we earn so we're quite happy.


He pays for all our holidays for us as a family and the majority of days out etc.


He has so many savings plans and investments I don't have a clue what he has, it's all in the study and I could look but I've never been interested, it's all in neat files should I even had the necessity.


I would say when you move in, make a will. My hubby still doesn't have one and it drives me insane! you need to protect what you have and make sure your child is provided for should you combine any assets etc.


good luck.