Moving in with partner and combining money

mark5

It's not all about the money, there must be other reasons for wanting to move in.

I think you will be fine it's just finding a compromise that your both financially happy with, the trouble is a lot of your costs are estimated at the moment, your not sure what they will be.

missbiggles1

Monkeychops16 wrote: »

No I don't and I'm not sure what he has left as he doesn't tell me..
EEEK i could be worse than anticipated..!

This isn't meant as a criticism but I can't believe you're in a 3 year long relationship, planning to move in together and yet you don't know the ins and outs of his finances.

Monkeychops16

I have tried to talk to him about it but I've been treading carefully as to not go on and on. we will go through it all tomorrow :-)

mark5

Monkeychops16 wrote: »

I have tried to talk to him about it but I've been treading carefully as to not go on and on. we will go through it all tomorrow :-)

My wife didn't know mine when we bought a house together, she does now.

Don't stress about it, if it's meant to be it will work out, if not you have your own house to fall back on, you will probably want to kill each other for a few weeks anyway, finances will be the least of your problems!

You could just suggest you make a rough plan for finances for now and ask him if you can return to it and review it in 6 months when you have a better idea of costs.

Mojisola

mark5 wrote: »

Don't stress about it, if it's meant to be it will work out, if not you have your own house to fall back on, you will probably want to kill each other for a few weeks anyway, finances will be the least of your problems!

It won't be easy to move back if there are tenants in the OP's house.

I wouldn't move in with anyone who wasn't prepared to become part of a family. Refusing to pay anything for the children would make me wonder how much of a step-father he's willing to be.

justme111

The thread seems to change direction every time information is clarified. I did not mean you had to know his disposable income , I meant it may well be not much more than yours or may be less.
At present you have less than £1050 for all those expenses but you are worried how it will be when it is £1050 .
I am confused , hope you make sense of it better yourself.

mark5

Mojisola wrote: »

It won't be easy to move back if there are tenants in the OP's house.

I wouldn't move in with anyone who wasn't prepared to become part of a family. Refusing to pay anything for the children would make me wonder how much of a step-father he's willing to be.

I don't think he's refused, the 200 seems reasonable (what's 200 per month get you in house costs) it's the loss of tax credits with no short term way of making up the income that's the big problem.

I'm guessing this guy is later 30's or older so he's probably quite set in his ways and not used to sharing his finances, it will take time.

What ever happens, good luck op.

Monkeychops16

Yes exactly-he's not used to having to talk to anyone about money either which explains his reluctance.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

It won't be easy to move back if there are tenants in the OP's house.

I wouldn't move in with anyone who wasn't prepared to become part of a family. Refusing to pay anything for the children would make me wonder how much of a step-father he's willing to be.

I can't imagine not knowing all about someone's finances after being in a relationship with them for 3 months, let along 3 years!

Monkeychops16

:Paha it's been slowly slowly catches the monkey in this relationship :-) I was married and had two children by three years in my previous one so I've changed tactics this time!