Allegations from neighbour

ChemistDude

Move house. Send your children to a school where these idiots don't go.

People say stand up to bullies..........my perception is you've nothing to gain. If you move however, you'll be free of the BS and your children will be happier. Bullied children only do well if they are strong (like me).

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I sympathise because I got dragged into a similar situation with somebody who just wanted a confrontation to make her look big and hard and because she thrived on drama to make her seem important. Unfortunately, it was my then boyfriend's sister going on a crazy spree.

She did the scaring the children thing as well - which I told the school and the Police, but nothing happened, and because I wasn't reacting and going down her house to 'sort it out' or having arguments in the playground for the entertainment of the cliques, she decided to escalate it even more.

The only thing that stopped it was when she turned up at the door hurling empty beer bottles and I lost my patience with her - apparently, the entire street seeing her running for dear life as soon as I stepped over my threshold (with no intention of doing anything, but she didn't know that) embarrassed her into shutting the **** up forever more. But she was a violent person normally, so that was how it got to that stage.


Your neighbour will move onto her next drama when she doesn't come out looking like she's shown you how big she is. Which she can't if you stay miles above her level.

culpepper

She will get tired of telling tales if she is ignored.
The head teacher is really a bit silly to pass on tittle tattle but I suppose she was trying to give you a 'heads up'.
It may be worth talking to your child about avoiding talking with 'her' or entering 'her domain' and to return home if she feels bullied but otherwise there isn't much that would make any difference.
The woman sounds like an intimidating bag of wind.

moneyistooshorttomention

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

Okay first of all even if Social Services get involved, as scary as it may seem, they're not going to attack you as well. Unfortunately they do get spurious and malicious allegations made which they obviously must investigate, which is upsetting of course, but it doesn't mean anything will come of it.

The fact that you've a history with this family will be enough to get any potential SS involvement off your back I suspect.

What you need to do, unfortunately, is cover your (and your children's) backsides by ensuring that everything is documented. In the first instance I would at minimum email the school and ask the head to elaborate on what they've stated. Literally as you've put it here. Similarly, get hold of the email address of the local police force direct it to the officer who dealt with your previous issues even though it will probably be an umbrella address.

Keep a detailed diary (if you don't already) of your movements. Make sure to keep stupid things like receipts that will obviously prove your whereabouts at particular days and times. Consider getting CCTV.

You are perfectly entitled to look out of your window, but do consider if you're doing it at a particular time or when it appears the neighbour is specifically say in her front garden or whatever. Because even though you are entitled to look out of your window, of course you are, I can understand how someone could be perturbed and feel they were being watched.

Do you rent or own your property? What about her? Consider all your options. xxx

I can certainly see that's a valid way to handle this situation.

The downside of it though is that these characters would have thereby caused OP to spend a lot of time and effort "monitoring her own life" in order to be able to prove she has done nothing wrong. With that - said neighbours would have caused her a lot of hassle anyway and probably their whole intention is to do exactly that (ie cause hassle).

I have reservations about the fact that doing this would mean OP's Life went somewhat out the window whilst doing all that self-monitoring.

In OP's position - I'd keep a diary okay (but only for noting down what they said/did and when - to keep a record of their harassment). I wouldn't put myself to the time/trouble of recording my own actions. Best otherwise, I feel, to ignore them as much as possible.

Not an easy situation...and OP has my sympathies.

bouicca21

OP you might want to consider putting privacy film on your windows - it woukd then be impossible during daylight hours for this woman to see through the window at all, so anything she said would clearly be a lie. You would still have to close the blinds in the evening as the one way mirror effect depends on light.

Mayflower10cat

I would second Bouicca21's suggestion about the mirror effect privacy screening film. It's a bit of a hassle to fit and getting all the air bubbles out takes ages. But it works a treat. We have an ongoing dispute with a neighbour and her aggressive, son and it's been a lifesaver.

Mojisola

Mayflower10cat wrote: »

I would second Bouicca21's suggestion about the mirror effect privacy screening film.

Couldn't that give the neighbour ammunition to say that Mimi has put it up so that she can stare at the children without being seen?

elsien

meritaten wrote: »

You play by the book Mimi - and she has no respect for the book hun. She does, however, respect someone facing up to her and threatening her back.
Something to consider hun? though I suspect you are too nice and law-abiding to do this.

Or alternatively it could just be seen as the OP playing into her hands and giving her something genuine to report. Not a route I'd be going down.

calicocat

I think I would be popping in to see this other woman who managed to get rid, see what had been happening exactly, and exactly how this woman handled it. Get it from the horses mouth.

Also, if this is a small village, surely other folk have had dealings with her, so you would some safety in numbers as this has happened before. Maybe it's time for a few to team up together in a very subtle way initially (just hanging out together for a walk or meet for coffee etc.....see if this focuses her mind before other measures are needed.

I would consider getting a camera put in, always handy to have evidence if things were to escalate. You can get covert ones if you don't want them to be obvious.

Once you have more information, if needed next time she has a go.....go back at her in a similar manner that has worked with others.

I certainly wouldn't be thinking of moving at this point. It's your home, the silly bint just needs reminding of this fact.


She sounds like a right bully, and a right bore. She must have a very unfulfilling life to need to go on like this....or a MH problem.


Hope you get things on a more even keel....it's horrid living with neighbour problems, very stressful.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Sorry been manic. My cars now been damaged (wing mirror smashed) and my security light sensor keeps being moved on a nightly basis.

Staying up tonight to see of I can catch them.

I've managed to get hold of the police, they said they can go and talk to her but 'don't retaliate' - have said maybe another meeting at school.

I won't even comtemplate moving. I've been in this area for years, moved into my house just over a year ago and it's mine (no mortgage etc) - she can crawl over my dead body before I leave