Allegations from neighbour

pigpen

I wouldnt do anything..

She has no proof to back up any of these things so what are you worried about??


Don't trust schools.. they say one thing and do the exact opposite.. from experience.. they arent there to be your friend.

What would the police or SS find if they did come round?? If there is something you would be concerned about then maybe you shouldnt be doing it in the first place.. but if as I suspect you are doing nothing wrong then why be concerned?? Let them in.. talk to them..


As it is ringing the police asking about reports against you being concerned about SS all just looks a bit like paranoia! Her MH team are probably informed already

Pollycat

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

As far as I know, she's told the head and the play ground "group" (All the mums that stand together in the corner)


I've asked the police control if there has been a report against me, but they wouldn't tell me. Said I had to apply for the "Freedom of information"


I know last time she was making reports and asking the police "not to attend" (more likely because I wasn't actually there!)


I'm guessing if she reported I was watching children the police would have come out to see me already

If you don't know that she's reported you to the Police I don't really know why you've involved them.

Why didn't you try to elicit more information about what she said from the head teacher?
You don't even know what the head teacher plans to do - if anything - about these allegations.
You don't know if it was a random comment or something more official.
I hope you haven't opened a can of worms by going directly to the Police without further information.

fairy_lights

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

.

More because she's said I'm watching kids (She's made it sound more sinister than I've put it). We live in a small village and it only takes one person to believe her and the windows would be put in. I'm not the first person she has done this with though, and I doubt I will be the last, but I think its worse because I live opposite.

If your not the first person she has done with then I'm sure everyone in your village knows what she's like and will take anything she says with a pinch of salt. And if you're not the first, I doubt you'll be the last - if you don't react to her behaviour I wouldn't be surprised if she gets bored and moves on to someone else.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

McKneff wrote: »

I know its a bit exytreme but I think I would be thinking about noving and changing schools

Its the only school near. DD only started here a year ago and has settled in well. The kids now play nicely, its just the parent.

pigpen wrote: »

I wouldnt do anything..

She has no proof to back up any of these things so what are you worried about??


Don't trust schools.. they say one thing and do the exact opposite.. from experience.. they arent there to be your friend.

What would the police or SS find if they did come round?? If there is something you would be concerned about then maybe you shouldnt be doing it in the first place.. but if as I suspect you are doing nothing wrong then why be concerned?? Let them in.. talk to them..


As it is ringing the police asking about reports against you being concerned about SS all just looks a bit like paranoia! Her MH team are probably informed already

Sorry - I rang the police to speak to the officer who we originally dealt with (Who told me to call them if anything else happened) - I suspect that this isn't the only thing I've been "reported" for. Didn't mention SS to the police or anything like that.


And no, they wouldn't find anything bad at all if they came round I'm not necessarily bothered about SS, I know my kids are fine, It's just more that its ANOTHER thing that's been said IYSWIM


What's MH?

Pollycat wrote: »

If you don't know that she's reported you to the Police I don't really know why you've involved them.

Why didn't you try to elicit more information about what she said from the head teacher?
You don't even know what the head teacher plans to do - if anything - about these allegations.
You don't know if it was a random comment or something more official.
I hope you haven't opened a can of worms by going directly to the Police without further information.

The police were already involved from last time (January) so it's only really been a month since then (was end of Jan) - My thinking was, if I had of been doing anything she would have logged it with the police, it doesn't appear she has (Otherwise they would have been in contact surely) so it seems that she's only logged it with school. I'm trying to establish what's happened and whats been said to who so I'm not walking into something half blind.


What I suspect is this: she hasn't logged it with the police and she's just trying to cause trouble at the school (I help out on occasion with the PTA - haven't done so since this kicked off though) She USED to help out with the school but as she was aggressive to my daughter on a school trip (And was warned about it from police) I submitted a letter to the school saying I wasn't happy for her to be supervising my child (was told to do this by the head) - I didn't mind her helping out, just didn't want her near DD. The governors decided to pull her from all school activities and she's now no longer allowed to help.


From what the head has told me she went in to school for a meeting and said I was watching her, her kids and neglecting mine. The head said this was 2 weeks ago but didn't actually say anything else. I rolled my eyes, said "not again" and she smiled and off she went.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

fairy_lights wrote: »

If your not the first person she has done with then I'm sure everyone in your village knows what she's like and will take anything she says with a pinch of salt. And if you're not the first, I doubt you'll be the last - if you don't react to her behaviour I wouldn't be surprised if she gets bored and moves on to someone else.

I've tried this, but because I wasn't reacting she started doing things to my daughter.

Silly things like shouting at DD when she was in the street but when we've said anything she claimed she was shouting at her own kids

She's blocked DD's was when she's tried to walk past her, encouraged her kids to throw things at DD in the street etc - things which, are silly really, but DD is 8, she's scared.

The father also told DD that she had "better tell your mum to watch her back" which caused 3 weeks worth of nightmares.

Ignoring them doesn't work, when they realise I'm "not bothered" they just start on DD. I'd rather they were kicking off at me than DD.


I actually thought at one stage she had moved on as she wasn't bothering me (didn't know I was being reported for things I've not done mind) as she started on another family. The other mum threatened her though and she backed off

Mojisola

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

I'm not the first person she has done this with though, and I doubt I will be the last, but I think its worse because I live opposite.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

From what the head has told me she went in to school for a meeting and said I was watching her, her kids and neglecting mine. The head said this was 2 weeks ago but didn't actually say anything else. I rolled my eyes, said "not again" and she smiled and off she went.

It sounds as if the Head has her measure and most of the village will as well - they will have seen the pattern before with her previous victims.

I can understand how stressful this is, knowing that the family are just across the road and are so vindictive but it sounds as if you have more important things to worry about - I hope you've got some good friends to turn to in RL as well as on here.

RuthnJasper

MH = Mental Health.


I can't see that you've done anything wrong. But I live in a small rural town, so I know how effective and cruel the grapevine can be.


It does sound as though others have got the measure of her. I'd echo the advice of Annie above and try - as hard as it seems - not to let her get to you, because this is precisely what she wants. Don't let the scheming harridan achieve her wretched little "victory", because you are far better than that.


Wishing you all the best - in this difficult situation and for your health concerns. xx

TBagpuss

I would log it with the police, explain to them that you are concerned that her making false and malicious allegations is a form of harassment and that t the very least you would like them to record the concerns.

If she chooses to make allegations to Social Services that you are neglecting your children then you may be contacted for a welfare check, but I would be very surprised if it went beyond that.

It sounds to me as though the head, knowing of the previous issues, wanted to give you a 'heads up' rather than anything else.

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this.

meritaten

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

I've tried this, but because I wasn't reacting she started doing things to my daughter.

Silly things like shouting at DD when she was in the street but when we've said anything she claimed she was shouting at her own kids

She's blocked DD's was when she's tried to walk past her, encouraged her kids to throw things at DD in the street etc - things which, are silly really, but DD is 8, she's scared.

The father also told DD that she had "better tell your mum to watch her back" which caused 3 weeks worth of nightmares.

Ignoring them doesn't work, when they realise I'm "not bothered" they just start on DD. I'd rather they were kicking off at me than DD.


I actually thought at one stage she had moved on as she wasn't bothering me (didn't know I was being reported for things I've not done mind) as she started on another family. The other mum threatened her though and she backed off

this tells me a lot - one, that she is a coward and two - that she thinks she has YOU where she wants you. Frankly, she does too, as you are running to the authorities whom she knows wont do anything.

You play by the book Mimi - and she has no respect for the book hun. She does, however, respect someone facing up to her and threatening her back.
Something to consider hun? though I suspect you are too nice and law-abiding to do this.

HurdyGurdy

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

What I suspect is this: she hasn't logged it with the police and she's just trying to cause trouble at the school (I help out on occasion with the PTA - haven't done so since this kicked off though) She USED to help out with the school but as she was aggressive to my daughter on a school trip (And was warned about it from police) I submitted a letter to the school saying I wasn't happy for her to be supervising my child (was told to do this by the head) - I didn't mind her helping out, just didn't want her near DD. The governors decided to pull her from all school activities and she's now no longer allowed to help.

Ker-ching!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

The other mum threatened her though and she backed off

Ker-ching! Ker-ching!

You've hit the nail right on the head with these two statements. She has had her nose put out of joint because she perceives the school "took your side" and is out to "get you" for it.

And the other mother threatened her (with what?) and she backed off her? Speaks volumes about the woman, doesn't it.


I would confront her. Not necessarily in an aggressive way, but face to face, and ask her what her problem is. And answer every issue she raises, or ask her for proof, dates, times etc. If she doesn't stop, then I would look into a police PIN notice, or a non molestation order.

Let her know that you are not going to stand by and let her do this to your family.