Nice People Thread No. 15, a Cyber Summer

LydiaJ

michaels wrote: »

Day off today, first day of working 70% this tax year...

I don't understand this sentence. You posted it on 5th April - the last day of the old tax year. Was that a typo??

GDB2222 wrote: »

If you are mansplaining away, and your DW in exasperation says "I'm not as stupid as I look, you know", what is the correct response?

Safest answer is to ignore the "as I look" bit and reply "You are not stupid at all. Sorry - was I pitching my explanation at the wrong level?"

If this is well received, you can leave it at that. If it provokes some kind of "you are in the wrong because I am female I expect you to know what is inside my head without being told" response then you can follow it with a gentle "Sometimes I don't guess right about how much you already know. It's because I can't read your mind, never because I think you're stupid. Please can we deal with the misunderstanding without blaming?"

I used to be on the receiving end of this kind of thing. Not that LNE was of the "I'm female so you should be able to read my mind" persuasion, of course. In men, the more common variant is "My position is so obviously right that you are wrong if you think differently." It comes to much the same thing in the end though. I spent most of my marriage appeasing that kind of unreasonableness. Appeasement doesn't work. Ask Mr Chamberlain.

Pyxis

GDB2222 wrote: »

If you are mansplaining away, and your DW in exasperation says "I'm not as stupid as I look, you know", what is the correct response?

I'm afraid that my sense of humour got the better of me, and I agreed politely!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


The ultimate cleft stick, that one!

That's cheered me up, anyway!
I've got tears rolling down my face, now!

Poor GDB.

I hope the dent inyour head fills out soon. :rotfl:

michaels

Employment has to change at the start of the month rather than being strictly aligned to the tax year. I told the tax credits people the changes started on Monday 3rd April, no doubt they will try and do something complicated for the two days....

chris_m

GDB2222 wrote: »

If you are mansplaining away, and your DW in exasperation says "I'm not as stupid as I look, you know", what is the correct response?
I'm afraid that my sense of humour got the better of me, and I agreed politely!

That's some doghouse you've got there - complete with internet access. :rotfl:

Pyxis

I'm still chuckling at the mental image I have of a woebegone GDB wrestling with the conundrum of whether the rock or the hard place is the better! :rotfl::rotfl: :rotfl:

vivatifosi

ivyleaf wrote: »

viva We didn't watch Panorama, suspecting it would prompt a need for brick-throwing. What in particular made you want to throw a brick?

Pyxis wrote: »

I turned over to Panorama after Viva's post, but as I'd missed the beginning, I wasn't sure what tack the programme was taking.

I was wound up by the arbitrariness of it all. The guy who didn't have enough money to buy his kids Christmas presents but spent £40 a week on fags and booze really annoyed me, though I could see his wife probably was too unwell to work. I was annoyed for the gran who had done the right thing and taken her daughters kids, but because the laws are devised for younger families meant she was expected to work to 75.

And as foul mouthed and objectionable as the blonde woman was, not helping her to furnish a house that she'd been given meant that she faced eviction and her kids were in expensive care, which is just plain ridiculous. She couldn't get money without her kids living there, but equally her kids couldn't live there because the house did nothavebeds and basic furniture in. Yet the council was paying a fortune to keep the kids in care when all that was needed was a couple of hundred pounds worth of second hand furniture, probably way less than the cost of caring for her kids for a few days. Bonkers.

Loanranger

In the past local Lions Clubs have supplied second hand furniture to local people in need. I donated a cooker and they were so pleased as they knew of a family who would be delighted with it. Someone could have mentioned them to her perhaps, or her to them.

vivatifosi

That's the thing loanranger. It was the lack of a joined up approach. Her behaviour was positively foul though, swearing at her social worker and not taking any responsibility for her own actions. She will have been an easy case to put to one side and work on others.

However none of that addresses the overall problem.

I don't know if you watched it too. Each case was very different, which was probably the whole point of the programme. It still made my blood pressure rise.

ivyleaf

GDB2222 wrote: »

If you are mansplaining away, and your DW in exasperation says "I'm not as stupid as I look, you know", what is the correct response?

I'm afraid that my sense of humour got the better of me, and I agreed politely!

Oh dear, I don't think there's any way you could have got out of that one

PasturesNew

Loanranger wrote: »

In the past local Lions Clubs have supplied second hand furniture to local people in need. I donated a cooker and they were so pleased as they knew of a family who would be delighted with it. Someone could have mentioned them to her perhaps, or her to them.

All Lions operate differently and do different things - that's why it's so hard to get things ... and all people assume because it works that way round their way it's how it works everywhere.