Someone in work is pushing my buttons (Rant)

BigAunty

Personally, I wouldn't react or take any action over it.

Overtime, she will alienate work colleagues by exploiting them and get a reputation as a scrounger who comes out with sob stories to get people to lend her things, do things for her and pay for things.

heuchera

duchy wrote: »

and presumably Yvonne could produce proof of the £200 on her creditcard statement - and her ex friend can't produce any proof she repaid it .
Matey bringing it to HR's attention would be very silly as it opens the door for Yvonne to point out this woman has borrowed money and not repaid it- which is most comanies would raise flags about an employee's honesty and integrity - especially someone new.

Nobody can prove anything. This is a spat between a couple of women in the office, who appear to have history. That's the way the employers will see it.

Even if she were to find the £200 purchase on her credit card bill, how is that going to prove that the clothes were for the friend..

meritaten

I would just say 'I told you I couldn't give you a lift as I am going in the opposite direction'.
Presumably your colleagues know you better and will take a newbies moans and complaints very much with a pinch of salt.
Just carry on normally and ignore her.
as others have said - before long they will clock on that she is a '!!!!!!!!!!'.

KiKi

Look, you paid when you went out and in your own words, you 'left it' because you weren't bothered.

You then paid £200 for clothes even though you know she doesn't pay you back - you let that happen. When she left work, you didn't pursue her for it.

She comes to your new workplace, and instead of talking to her about it, and asking for the money, you get back into being friends and pally with her, and even going for lunch again and being friendly.

Now, I'm not saying for one moment that her behaviour is okay - she's a user, clearly!! But you've allowed that to happen, and by being mates with her again you've effectively said "I don't care about the £200" because you've not raised it. She seems incredibly unaware of her behaviour or attitude, so she probably has no idea you're annoyed, and probably does it to so many friends that she's forgotten she even owes you money.

You've got to work with her. So I wouldn't send her an email. I would do that thing called 'talking'. I'd go for lunch (sans purse, obviously ), and say to her that you want to clear up the issue about the lift. Explain that you really didn't see her, so you're sorry if she's annoyed by that. However, you're not prepared to be mates with her as she still owes you £200, and even since working with you she has asked you to pay for lunch again, and although you allowed it to happen before, you're not allowing it again.

Just talk to her like an adult; once you've said your piece it will be MUCH easier to let it go over your head. Everyone else will soon see what she's like anyway.

KiKi

Callie22

duchy wrote: »

I never suggested Yvonne used the work email - that would not be appropriate - however as Yvonne has internet access it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume she has her own private email account.

What exactly in the letter do you see as ammunition that could be used against Yvonne ? There are no work place rules that say you have to be friends with people you work with - and presumably Yvonne could produce proof of the £200 on her creditcard statement - and her ex friend can't produce any proof she repaid it .
Matey bringing it to HR's attention would be very silly as it opens the door for Yvonne to point out this woman has borrowed money and not repaid it- which is most comanies would raise flags about an employee's honesty and integrity - especially someone new.

The problem is that the way you write something, and the way someone can read it, can be very different. This woman obviously doesn't see anything wrong with her current behaviour - borrowing money and not paying it back, bad-mouthing someone just because they didn't give her a lift - and I'd imagine that if she got an email like that she'd see it as 'bullying'. 'Oh, yvonne13's sent me a horrible email and all I was doing was saying that she's being nasty because she didn't give me a lift in her fancy car, look at what she's written, isn't it unfair, I haven't done anything'. I can imagine her printing it off and flapping it round the office at anyone who'd care to look. It just doesn't seem worth it to me. Irritating though it is, it's better to just ignore her and let her find someone else to bother - she'll find another 'soft-touch' and forget about the OP quite quickly if she stops getting attention.

I just thought it worth mentioning about work emails as I don't have personal email addresses for most of my work colleagues and, if the OP really wants to email her it's best not to do this through a work channel. That kind of personal email would be regarded as inappropriate in my workplace so if it needs to be sent, it should be done externally. But I still think sending emails/letters is always problematic, for the reason I mentioned above. Raise the issue with her personally or through a manager if necessary, but I really do feel that if you're going to 'confront' someone - especially someone who's getting to you - it's best to put yourself in a position where you can't be misinterpreted.

Beckyy

Does she know anybody else in the workplace? If not coming in and slagging off established members of staff will probably mean she'll alienate herself very quickly.

I would sit tight and just be polite and professional.

getmore4less

She owes you £200 did a runner and you talked to her!

Ask for your money back every day. (not another word)

steph2901

She's got a real cheek!

I'd say loud enough for others to hear that you can't give her a lift as you live in opposite directions. No one is going to think badly of you. Why should you go out of your way for someone who isn't a friend?

I had a sponging friend once too, but not anymore and I feel so much better for it.

lulu_92

The way she is talking about you to others is reminding me of a situation I'm currently in with a girl at work.

From what I have gathered from my situation is that a lot of people don't trust what she is saying and she's slowly but surely alienating herself by doing this. I have resorted to ignoring this girl unless I absolutely have to talk to her because I know she'll twist whatever I say to make out she's a victim (even in a victimless scenario, but I digress..). Unfortunately she is being moved to the desk next to mine so this will get harder!

Just sit tight and everyone you work with will soon see what she's like, especially if she has to start sponging off someone else.

Also, I wouldn't email but I would make it clear when appropriate about her owing you money. Although I would hope that people would see her for what she's really like before you have to sink to her level.

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

Inn the time it will take me to get to the bar, you could use a phrase that contains three f's and is not printable on this forum. Yes it would offend, but it will put the pokecteer in their place.