Someone in work is pushing my buttons (Rant)

yvonne13_2

To cut a long story short, I used to work with the said person in a different company a while back. We used to be friends I would say as we used to meet up after work and spend some weekends together.

Within a year I noticed everytime we went out she always seemed to have either forgotten her purse or even say she's left her purse in another bag so would I always end up paying for her food, drinks etc. She always said she would give me the money back and I used to just leave it as I wasn't bothered over £5.

It all came to ahead one Saturday when we went clothes shopping and she went to the till with over £200 worth of clothes and her card was rejected. She looked at me with puppy dog eyes saying she really wanted the items and if I paid for the things she would give me the money back. I really didn't want to, but soft as I was I paid.

I didn't want to seem pushy so I waited until payday to ask for my money back and the cheeky so and so said "Oh you should've said I forgot, I'll give it you next month". I couldn't belive what I was hearing. Anyway I never saw her agiain as she left the job and moved house and never told me.

3 months ago guess who started at my place of empoyment? Once again we started chatting about the old times and the convesation just flowed. We even met up for lunch a few times until she started the whole forgotten purse rubbish. I didn't fall for it this time and I felt good about that.

Anyway two weeks ago I told her I was getting a new jeep and she was really happy for me and even offered to come to the dealership with me to get it. I refused her kind offer and we left it at that.

Last week I can't remember the exact day she asked me if I could give her a lift home as her car was getting it's MOT. (She lives on the other side of town and I don't go anywhere near her direction) So all I said was how did you get work and her reply was the bus, so I asked her if she bought a return ticket and the words that came out of her mouth made me grab my invisible pearls.

That night I left work at 5:30pm and it was raining heavy. I hand on heart did not see her at the bus stop, but that didn't stop her going around telling any and everyone that would listen that I refused to give her a lift in my fancy new jeep because I think I'm better than her.....

Again today she came over to where I was and started talking loud saying that some people think their better than some of us not wanting to give riff raff people lifts. I bit my lip, but it's really getting on my nerves. How long to I have to put up with her sly comments?!?!

Rant over.

barbiedoll

Next time you hear her bad-mouthing you, just (loudly) tell her (in front of lots of witnesses), that maybe you'd be more inclined to offer her a lift, WHEN she offers to pay back the £200 that she owes you.

Then walk away. And ignore her from now on. She's a leech, she will take everything and give nothing. You're better off without her.

And don't worry, your other work colleagues will soon work out what she's like after paying for her lunch/bus fare/lottery subs for a few weeks!

heuchera

MortgageVirgin

I suppose it depends on whether you care about her rude comments enough to confront her.

If I was in your situation, I would arrange to meet her somewhere neutral and explain how you feel. Am I correct in thinking she hasn't repaid the £200? That would be my starting point! Tell her that you had started noticing her 'forgetting her purse', that she has the historic debt to you and that you didn't give her a lift as it would have meant you going completely out of your way.

It sounds to be as though she thinks the world (and her friends) owe her a living. Have your other colleagues approached you about the comments she's making? Do they realise she's talking about you?

duchy

Other people once they realize that she lives in the total opposite direction to you will soon get her number. I'd be tempted to mention the owed £200 in front of other people too -although that's coming down to her level so I hopefully wouldn't.

I'd be tempted to send her a short email

Dear XXX

I'm sorry you were upset that I was unable to give you a lift the other day -clearly you've forgotten I now live in xxxx so totally in the opposite direction to your home.

You do seem to be presuming that we are still friends but appear to have forgotten that our friendship ended when you didn't pay back the two hundred pounds you owed me when we worked together at <ex company name>. As a friend I'd have offered you a lift home but as a collegue I didn't feel the same motivation. I hope you can understand the difference.

Regards

Yvonne

Keep a copy of the email and if anyone says anything then just give them a copy of it.



Ignore her stupid comments-if she wants to make waves in a new job then she's REALLY stupid

yvonne13_2

MortgageVirgin wrote: »

I suppose it depends on whether you care about her rude comments enough to confront her.

If I was in your situation, I would arrange to meet her somewhere neutral and explain how you feel. Am I correct in thinking she hasn't repaid the £200? That would be my starting point! Tell her that you had started noticing her 'forgetting her purse', that she has the historic debt to you and that you didn't give her a lift as it would have meant you going completely out of your way.

It sounds to be as though she thinks the world (and her friends) owe her a living. Have your other colleagues approached you about the comments she's making? Do they realise she's talking about you?

Yes she still owes me the money, but I know i'm never going to get it.

Yes everyone knows she's talking about me. I'm just trying to let everything go over my head, but it's hard.

tea_lover

It's amazing the things that happen in your workplace.

MortgageVirgin

I think the email suggested by duchy is a very good way to go. Do you want your colleagues to think badly of you? Yes, they may well come to realise she's a bad egg, but think how long it took you to realise. Better to be proactive and DO something, than keep a low profile and hope it blows over.

Callie22

I'm not sure I'd send an email - and I definitely wouldn't send it through my work email system. She sounds like someone who likes to paint herself as a victim and I'd be very wary of giving her anything written down that she could use as 'ammunition', either to show to other people or to HR. I personally would ignore her - if she's still as bad as you say she is then everyone is going to get fed up of her pretty quickly.

bluebell13

I'm not sure, but to be on the safe side, I wouldn't let her use your toilet if she asks.......

duchy

Callie22 wrote: »

I'm not sure I'd send an email - and I definitely wouldn't send it through my work email system. She sounds like someone who likes to paint herself as a victim and I'd be very wary of giving her anything written down that she could use as 'ammunition', either to show to other people or to HR. I personally would ignore her - if she's still as bad as you say she is then everyone is going to get fed up of her pretty quickly.

I never suggested Yvonne used the work email - that would not be appropriate - however as Yvonne has internet access it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume she has her own private email account.

What exactly in the letter do you see as ammunition that could be used against Yvonne ? There are no work place rules that say you have to be friends with people you work with - and presumably Yvonne could produce proof of the £200 on her creditcard statement - and her ex friend can't produce any proof she repaid it .
Matey bringing it to HR's attention would be very silly as it opens the door for Yvonne to point out this woman has borrowed money and not repaid it- which is most comanies would raise flags about an employee's honesty and integrity - especially someone new.