Weekly Flylady Thread 1st February 2016

ionafan

It would appear that the post I wrote last night disappeared into the ether :mad:

Congratulations Kazwookie
Go for the refund, pigpen!
Hope your specs are a bit better now, LW.

Today my flying has consisted of serving lunch and making coffee
I managed to do a bit of shopping.
The Dads Army film was fun, but this evening's concert was tremendous

See you on the new thread tomorrow x

Jazee

Morning up early. Should get on with lots of flying today as I'm on my own, but we'll see.

Have a great day everyone.

Mumof2_2

Sat on the sofa with S and Pip all snuggled up as couldn't sleep. Had rough time of it with J - his Relate session didn't go well and we've been arguing a lot about things and been doing a lot of talking. He still won't acknowledge that he has a problem; counsellor thought he may have PTSD and needs some help but no, won't even consider it. It'll be interesting to see how this week's session goes on on Friday as it's us together again whereas last week was him on his own.

Trying to fly but still getting over illness. Got a lot of ironing to do today. Did finish off my poncho yesterday and wove in the ends; I'll try to post a picture at some point today. Now starting on short sleeved jumper to wear over a top in a lovely teal colour. Knitting is my lifeline at the moment.

Frizzlef

Oh mumof2- that doesn't sound like the outcome you were hoping for. Maybe he needs some time to mull over what was said. Sometimes, denial is an easy reaction and it takes time for realisation to kick in. Have a lovely family day today and be gentle on yourself. I am glad you have your knitting.

Had a lazy morning so far and not a lot planned for today. I have meal planned for next week and written a shopping list. We have had breakfast and cleared up.kids and OH are still in their pjs!

List for today....

Food Shopping
Wrap nieces pressie
HHI x2
Wmx2
Flea treatment for cat
Wash down the baby chair!

Thinks that's about it!

pigpen

Mumof2.. at least you have an outsiders opinion annd they are saying it is not your fault.. you are not to blame so he can now say whatever he likes and you know that he is the one with the problem he is unwilling to fix.. it shows how much he is committed to making things right with you if he is unwilling to even try to access help in sorting his problem out. Use that information.. not to guilt yourself into saying 'oh its not his fault he is like this' .. because yes it is he is making the choice to not get help, choosing not to fix himself and therefore the things you are finding hard in your marriage.. you are trying your absolute best and he is clearly not. It is like you carrying him bodily because he has a broken leg yet him refusing to get it mended.. just because it is not a physical problem doesn't mean it is not real... Can you live like that forever? Can you put your children through that?

Mumof2_2

I'm going to try to get him to get help; we spoke about it again earlier and I can sort out some things but just not 'his stuff' - he started frowning when I simply mentioned it. I don't get why he can't see it or maybe he can and just doesn't want to. My Dad who is one of the most mild mannered people I know said he's never met anyone as difficult as J. If he was abusive I'd just walk away but 90% of the time he's really lovely. Kids are happy and settled - even Mum & Dad commented on it when they were up the other day so nothing is affecting them - and amazingly I haven't taken it out on myself though did come close last night.

Should life really be this hard?


ETA: I've spoken to him and he's grudgingly said he will follow counsellor's advice and speak to someone. He looks sad. I feel sad too.

pigpen

It is hard to admit you need help with anything.. I struggle to ask for help with getting stuff out of a cupboard.. the big things are really hard... If he is serious about wanting to keep you then he has to try everything too.. you've done more than enough to make this work and keep yourself healthy, not just physically, and it is his turn too.. it isn't a sign of failure, it is a sign of success being strong enough to say 'I cannot do this by myself'

Abuse isn't just physical. I can be many forms.. sexual (being denied affection or forced contact), financial (not allowed money or having to justify where every penny is spent), emotional (blackmailed, threatened)etc.. being ignored, put down, called names, refused money for necessities, alienated from friends family and society.. it is all abuse.. everyone (including myself!!) thinks abuse = violence, but that is wrong.

Mumof2_2

Thanks for your responses Pigpen x

Just wanted to show off my new poncho which is knitted in a mixture of wool and alpaca - it's soooo snuggly and cosy!!

pigpen

Oooh I love it mumof2.. it looks really snuggly and warm!

I wil have to do you a pic of my shawl ..

Biscuit_monster

Afternoon all,

Been awol due to much busyness. Nothing particular, just very busy.

mumof2, hugs, it is very hard to admit you have a problem and need help, and it also takes time. I hope it works out x
Ps lovely poncho, I am a poncho fan and have four,two knitted by my mum.

kaz many congratulations!

It's just started raining again. We had a respite of, ooo, two hours.

Right, Had a lazy morning, so going to redeem myself by ironing and painting. Also promised to bake with the girls. OH is taking dog out (yay).