A Diary of Reinventing Ourselves

Forward_thinking

Well I've just spent an hour on YNAB. Two things to say on that: 1) I really enjoy using it - it's quite therapeutic to put in all the various transactions and 2) I haven't the faintest idea what I am doing! I've completed it quite accurately even though the final large number is in the minus (about £600). I've shaved off most of my categories for this month as I obviously don't have the money to budget for them but that's not really the idea I guess. I also have a pile of figures left and right I have no idea about. The plan is to just keep plugging away putting in numbers until the penny suddenly drops. Not sure if this will happen but we shall see. I am rather looking forward to February when I can have a completely new slate. This one looks rather messy and nonsensical. Fun though.

getmore4less

This getting chucked out should be the wakeup call, do you want to be doing this for the next 20 years while the kids grow up?

I think you should bite the bullet go for somewhere compact and cheaper to rent and run.

Along with more cutbacks all round.

The goal being debt free and deposit to buy a house in less that two years you have to break the cycle of we can't because...
In a way you have been saying it will be hard to save to get a house(well it's like that for everyone) and then making it really hard by spending ALL you money and more to make your own prediction come true a self fullfilling cycle of doom.

I think if get a home had been a goal from when you came back and got that good contract you would have had 1/2 a 4 bed house paid for by now.

OK that was then this is now but you can make it happen if you really want it.

Between you there is the earning capacity to nail a £500k+ mortgage in less than 20years or fork out £480k in rent and have nothing.

That might not get you a big spacious house now in the area where you want to live but it will be YOUR home and with a £200pd rate rise that will be paid off in no time or have a big buffer to ride out a change in contract.

pinkcheshirecat

I'm de-lurking, just to say, I've read both your dfw threads/diaries from start to finish- you are an engaging writer. You've taken the hardest steps in my opinion, admitting to yourself that things need to change is the really difficult part of it all. Once you have realised that things become more and more obvious.

Both my husband and I are real YNAB converts, it has to be said that we use the 'classic' YNAB 4, we started using it about 18 months ago, and we have never felt more in control of our money. We'd always previously spent money as we needed/wanted as long as there was money in the bank, and never really worried about whether it was sustainable.

My DH had a job which meant he could work away and earn more when we needed it. Then, about 10 years ago, he became unwell. He could still work, but it pretty much brought an end to working away, and suddenly the 'top-ups' disappeared. For the first time, we had a fixed monthly income. It took a long time for the penny to drop....... In fact, what did it was me giving up work to look after the children, suddenly, I panicked, we started YNAB, and for the first time ever we feel in control of our money. We know exactly how much we have, we budget for things like car insurance instead of being short that month, and I can tell you to the penny what we spend on food, fuel, or having fun. Having to choose makes us prioritise. I'm just sad that we didn't find YNAB 10 years ago.

That said, With YNAB they encourage you to only budget the money you have available to spend, but for you, this month that will be difficult. Once you get into March however, you will have a full month, and a full months money. Given your OH gets paid in dribs and drabs, you might find the YNAB weekly/other period budgeting useful. When I set up my categories, I added in brackets the amount I needed to allocate for that category each month, then if we don't get paid all at once, we can allocate money for the bills due first, then once more is received you can allocate the next weeks payments. Given the level of payments you need to make, you may find that you are overspending/adding to your debt in the first few months. If that is the case, work on reducing the overspend figure each month if you really can't reduce the overspend to zero. While you run an overspend, YNAB will continue to take that from next months money, so the quicker you get rid of the overspend, the easier life will be.

I'll keep following!

Pink

Claree__x

Morning! I'm also delurking to say I've read your threads from start to finish and you're such an inspiring woman. You've had set backs, of course, but the way that you've dealt with them is amazing.

I have nothing productive to add - just wanted to say keep going.

Forward_thinking

Morning!! Well, that was a rather short night - must try to get to bed earlier - at the moment the children are going to bed very late and it leaves me with minimal time to get things done in the evening.

A car has just come up down the road and so we are off to see it today. It's a great price, very old, but fine. Perhaps one of our frustrating parts to the jigsaw may be solved today. Wish me luck!

Getmore - I absolutely hear you. 100%. I am desperate to take something smaller but there genuinely isn't anything around here at the moment. We could go out and drive in for 15 minutes but I live in that car taking the kids to school and multiple clubs, playdates. I would be completely ostracising the kids if we move out of the town and my life would become a headache. We really do need to stay within a couple of miles - the plan is totally to get something smaller. It doesn't have to be great - having said that I know OH won't go for something too dreadful and to be honest anything under £2000 is pretty dreadful. I'll keep looking - wish me luck on that too. This has been a total wake up call and no, I do not want to be doing this forever. We have always been the ones to give notice so this is the first time we have been asked to leave. Yes, it bothers me. It doesn't bother OH, he thinks it is energising and good for us; says we have got lazy being here for three years and if we buy we will just become like everyone else and stay put and wilt. He says people in the army move around all the time and it is good for the children; gives them spirit. Well, I don't feel that way - I want my soon-to-be teenagers to have a stable home and be able to put up a picture on the wall, see us create a home for us and not worry about putting a single nail in a wall. We can't put up any pictures or photos, build the conservatory I would one day love to have etc.

Pinkchesirecat and Claree - lovely to have you on board : )) Really appreciate your comments. And thanks, pinkcheshirecat for your comments on YNAB - they help. You are quite right, it's a messy month. Having said that, I have just got extremely grumpy with OH. I pointed out that he hasn't put in the rent money of £2200 yet. He pointed out to me that his parents have very kindly given us a few grand last week so it's not urgent. That money was for the car we are going to buy!!!!!! I knew he would do that - let that get absorbed into the accounts. He says I am making up my own story, that he knows it is there for the car but we don't have a car to buy yet. That's fine but I am only too used to him doing things like this and as far as I am concerned we should be treating that pool of money like a gift from God; special and totally separate!!!!!!!!

pelirocco

getmore4less wrote: »

This getting chucked out should be the wakeup call, do you want to be doing this for the next 20 years while the kids grow up?

I think you should bite the bullet go for somewhere compact and cheaper to rent and run.

Along with more cutbacks all round.

The goal being debt free and deposit to buy a house in less that two years you have to break the cycle of we can't because...
In a way you have been saying it will be hard to save to get a house(well it's like that for everyone) and then making it really hard by spending ALL you money and more to make your own prediction come true a self fullfilling cycle of doom.

I think if get a home had been a goal from when you came back and got that good contract you would have had 1/2 a 4 bed house paid for by now.

OK that was then this is now but you can make it happen if you really want it.

Between you there is the earning capacity to nail a £500k+ mortgage in less than 20years or fork out £480k in rent and have nothing.

That might not get you a big spacious house now in the area where you want to live but it will be YOUR home and with a £200pd rate rise that will be paid off in no time or have a big buffer to ride out a change in contract.

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Well I've just spent an hour on YNAB. Two things to say on that: 1) I really enjoy using it - it's quite therapeutic to put in all the various transactions and 2) I haven't the faintest idea what I am doing! I've completed it quite accurately even though the final large number is in the minus (about £600). I've shaved off most of my categories for this month as I obviously don't have the money to budget for them but that's not really the idea I guess. I also have a pile of figures left and right I have no idea about. The plan is to just keep plugging away putting in numbers until the penny suddenly drops. Not sure if this will happen but we shall see. I am rather looking forward to February when I can have a completely new slate. This one looks rather messy and nonsensical. Fun though.

I know you think I am always negative towards your posts , but this is for a reason . I honestly dont think you have had a true light bulb moment . You can adjust your budget to fit YNAB all you like , but unless you actually stick to those figures it means nothing .

I will go one step further and say not only should you be living with in your means , you should be living below them , you do not have a guaranteed source of income ( along with the rest of the working population) and most importantly you do not have a secure paid for roof over your head .

You need to move out of the area you live in ,to somewhere much more affordable , this will mean a bigger commute for your husband or even means he may have to live away in lodgings for part of the week . This wont be easy , but it beats destitution , if your husbands contract ends with not another one lined up you have nothing in reserve

You have to act now

getmore4less

I am one of those service kids, went to 13 different schools, contrary to what hubby thinks many put down roots and let hubby work away as needed or stick the kids in boarding schools and enjoy the service life although I understand that is not what it used to be with the cutbacks.

Kids adapt far better and quicker than adults as they move into a new social network very quickly and forget the old one.

BY saying you can't move to a cheaper area you are falling into the same trap you have been in all along you need somewhere cheaper now, you might get lucky, rental market is very dynamic stuff comes and goes quickly so you have a few weeks.

If hubby works from home a lot then you have a great opportunity to consider a lot of areas.

Why did you pick such an expensive area in the first place?
(what logic was behind that choice)

Forward_thinking

:eek:Hi Pelirocco - well, I did say to myself "oh no, it's Pelirocco again!"

Yes, I get what you are saying. I do believe I have had my LBM - I am working on things 24/7 - looking for work, looking at our costs, trying to get things down, plus plenty of other things. Things are totally different in this household now but there are plenty of other changes to be made. We are now living under our budget as from this month. The only change we won't be making is moving out of the area. We have three children in schools they adore, one has just started seniors and is thriving - it's one of the best around - and our other daughter is due to start there in September. We are just waiting to hear whether she has been accepted - which she will be. I am not changing that - it would be a catastrophic chess move.

Forward_thinking

Keep posting though Pelirocco - I do enjoy hearing from you in some kind of masochistic way : ))

matchboxfull

Morning FT!

Just on a practical note - you said that you did a PhD. Could you get some work via your university?