A Diary of Reinventing Ourselves 29 January 2016 at 11:33PM in Debt free diaries 752 replies 80.8K views

getmore4less

Hubby likes to do the cooking so what about a split,

he does everything to do with eating you do the rest.

does he expect to feed the family on a jar of chutney and a pack of pops.(presumably the pre cooked not the raw that are dirt cheap).

Kitten868

Could an allowance work? Each month give him £400 a month for food. (Hold the £200 back just in case?)
That's what I've decided for my hubby but his allowance is for petrol and his fun. X

enthusiasticsaver

Just found your new diary FT and sorry you not getting any support from your OH. Great in laws you have though. It might be an idea to take back the shopping reins from your OH. When money was very tight for us just after our children were born and we had just one salary coming in if my OH went shopping he would come back with rubbish (thunderbirds toy, I ask you!) and no proper food even though I had given him a list and he knew money was extremely tight. I was furious and for a long time afterwards I would not trust him to do the weekly shop so would struggle round with 2 children under 2 rather than trust him. I am a little more relaxed now money is not so tight though. Can you meal plan and say to OH he can cook at the weekend only maybe and say he has to do it within a budget? I get that he is not on board with this yet but you will need to keep drumming it in even though this may be difficult. After all it is not fair on your children to have the roof over your head at risk due to irresponsible spending either and it is not fair on you for you to shoulder the burden alone.


Also use Lidls or Aldis if you can as they are so much cheaper and the food is really good too.

Gettingtherequickly

Have moved over to your new diary & like everyone else thrilled about the car. Hubby may not be too impressed, but the fact that the outlaws are paying for it may shock him into realising that his parents can see what he is blind to & with a bit of luck give him a nudge, if not, I imagine his parents will. At least you know that you have very important allies in your quest, but be honest with Ant, tell him you can't do it alone and needed someone to actually hear, rather than listen in one ear and out the other, what you want & need to achieve. By the end of the year, allowing for standard running costs, you will have been able to pay £5k off the debt, which will be pretty painless to you but a fairly decent cut off the debt.

Do you have access to online banking? If so, I would suggest that the day the car payment us normally paid, you transfer the total of that amount to pay off some of the debts. How you do that is up to you, apportion pro data to each debt, pay off the highest rates, or if you have a card with a small balance, clear that, the choice is yours. I have become quite anal in dealing with things & have a number of accounts which have money transferred into every month on payday, including one for my credit card which has money transferred every time I use the card. I view it as no longer my money, so if it is out of my current account, I have that much less to spend.

Have you considered using a bank which pays you? I have a Santander 123, ok it costs me £5 a month, but that is more than covered by the cash back & interest I receive. It may be worth looking into & if you are in a position where you get enough cash back, it could be used as a treat, even if it only buying a pizza & bunging it the oven & having it with salad, a family "picnic" on the floor watching a film, a bit of quality family time which is priceless.

I will continue to read your diary, even if I don't contribute, I will be rooting for you in the background, so keep positive, you will encounter hurdles, but they are there to strengthen you, so view them as a challenge rather a deterrent.

lynnejk

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Thanks everyone. Just had a call to say hopefully they will have a car for us this time next week. Dad is going to look at two. Can't believe how amazing they have been. They want me to not mention it to husband as he might scupper it. My mum in law was so cross when we chatted and I felt a bit guilty. It's her son after all but she said he isn't too old to get a telling off!!


Sounds like they are not too surprised at all this ??


Husband just went out shopping a second time and came back with a jar of mango chutney, poppodoms and 5 chocolate lions (all £1 each - so £5 on tiny chocolate lions!!).


I really think that to get on top of this you need to take charge of the grocery spending and say you would like to get the shopping for the month.


Ok - if he likes to cook, get him to make a menu plan for the week ahead, and you buy it. You only have one sprog at home so could take your car and shop on a Monday for the week.


Go to A*di or L*dl and get the bulk - then either Morrys or Mr T for the rest.

...... Will be facing my huge pile of ironing tonight...


Why don't you split it into half-hour slots and something else inbetween


Will update the SOA!

Good luck and HTH
Lx

Forward_thinking

Great to see some company. Thank you. Will read your advice in more detail later and post. Busy ironing at the moment!!!!! I noticed Ant had bought some vegetables reduced from £2 to 75p. I asked him if he had noticed the time they started reducing things ie was that why he had gone out. He said he knew I would think that but no, they've only just started it. Stubborn man!! He also made a very telling statement saying he wasn't prepared to be bringing in 12k just to live on beans when the people who work for him are all busy living it up. So I think his ego is part to play which is understandable. I do understand that. He works hard and everybody really respects him. Sign of a breakthrough? I just said I was going to spend the evening ironing and he said "if you do half, I'll do the other". Almost fell over backwards. Won't let him though but simply having him accept it is fab.

Forward_thinking

Standing here trying to work out how to work the iron. It's one of those large complex ones. So where does the water go.... going to be a long night.

Turtle

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Standing here trying to work out how to work the iron. It's one of those large complex ones. So where does the water go.... going to be a long night.

If you don't have the manual, Google is your friend

Forward_thinking

Finished : ))) Took 2 hours and 45 minutes without stopping. I usually pay £25. I have to admit, I do wonder how much I have spent on electricity tonight! Husband thinks I am crazy although he sat beside me and didn't say a word. Cooked me a lovely tea and gave no sarcastic comments. He does think I would be much better off working away to get some clients which is an area I am hugely passionate about - not ironing.

Actually, I'm hopeless at ironing. His shirts are not too great and I am expecting some comments. The sleeves - oh, the sleeves. How do you get creases out of those? They're so skinny that you just end up putting in deep creases. Oh well, perhaps it can be a new fashion - the falling out of bed look. And the second thing to be the bain of my life - duvet covers. How? Just how? I folded them up but the other side just looks as bad as it was - despite turning it over multiple times.

On the great side, I was able to turn the heating off all night - ironing is hot work.

I am acutely aware that there are several comments above I want to absorb and take on board but I will do that tomorrow. I'm exhausted and need some sleep. Been another tough day.

I need to eat better next week. When I get stressed I get abdominal pains that can last for six weeks at a time. Haven't had a flare up for about two years but sensed it might be coming back tonight. Need to get the old nutribullet out tomorrow although it's quite expensive to run.

By the way, a poster sent me a message tonight pointing out that I had mentioned the name of my husband. Actually it's not his real name - it was an adopted one as I know I can't call him husband for the next few years. But I was so touched that someone would take the time to let me know. How kind is that!! This forum really is such a wonderful place for people needing some support. I wish more people out there knew about it.

Goodnight for now.

brizzledfw

Have subscribed..so glad you're starting a diary.

Brilliant the ILs are in board. Really generous and their timing is magic.

Onwards and upwards!!! :T