SOA - please help!! I want to start today!

lee111s

If anything, it becomes more addictive when you start seeing the bank balances stay fuller for longer into the month, or the debt starts reducing!

Be careful though, you don't want to turn into a scrooge! Whilst you need to save money, which you're well on the way to doing, you absolutelt still need to have a life and do things you enjoy doing for yourself and the family.

Compromise where needed, don't feel guilty about having luxuries once your finances are stable

Forward_thinking

M4rc - how lovely of you to send them away on their own. Totally selfless!!!!

Oh dear, dh isn't happy with me tonight. He still insists I am fiddling around in the teaspoon drawer and the answer is to keep the cleaner and ironer etc and for me to start looking for work. To be fair, I have been procrastinating a lot. I am starting up my own business and it's quite daunting. I will start on that in the next few days but I keep telling him we need to work at both ends - reduce our costs as well as bring in more. We are spending around 90k and it's just ridiculous.

I have never been the one in charge of our finances - other half has already taken care of that side of things. I think the catalyst was when I managed to get our medical insurance down by £300 and it made me stop and think. I now want to have a full picture of what is going on in our accounts. We never track what we spend, whether our refunds actually get refunded etc.

Husband still said tonight that he is happy with the hire car sitting outside on the drive and said I've been happy up until now as well (we've been hiring for three years since we returned from abroad with nothing). I've woken up but he still thinks it's fine. I think he just doesn't like to admit he is in the wrong. He did agree though that if I find a good deal of a car and we are able to pay over two months then to let him know. I suspect it would have to be an absolute winner to make him budge though. He insists our credit cards are up to the max and we can't afford to put £2000 on them - only £630 a month to pay for the hire car. Surely some garages let you pay in two instalments? I will have to investigate. So onto Auto Trader tomorrow.

Husband also said he has no desire to spend the weekend cleaning when he has been working all week. Pointed out that I'm at home so I can spend all the time cleaning and ironing if that is what I wish to do. But pointed out that I have been studying for eight years and now have my dream qualifications so I would be far better hiring the services of others whilst I go and get some good money in. Fair point - he has supported me for many years.

So it looks like I'm going to be busy - reducing costs, ironing, mopping and hoovering and looking for cars. Think I might go and bury my head again........

Forward_thinking

Looks like I have answered my own question - keep this as a safe haven to vent away whilst sharing your words of wisdom with the husband.

My whole reason for wanting to get out of debt is to try and get a house one day - however small. We are getting on a bit and really running out of time. Soon it will be too late. However, that's another thing we disagree on - husband (will need to give him a nickname soon) would prefer to rent a big house forever than buy a small one of our own (couldn't afford to buy a house like this for ourselves). Ive got a lot to convince him about over the next couple of years.

lynnejk

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Oh dear, dh isn't happy with me tonight. He still insists I am fiddling around in the teaspoon drawer and the answer is to keep the cleaner and ironer etc and for me to start looking for work. To be fair, I have been procrastinating a lot. I am starting up my own business and it's quite daunting. I will start on that in the next few days but I keep telling him we need to work at both ends - reduce our costs as well as bring in more. We are spending around 90k and it's just ridiculous.

I have never been the one in charge of our finances - other half has already taken care of that side of things. I think the catalyst was when I managed to get our medical insurance down by £300 and it made me stop and think. I now want to have a full picture of what is going on in our accounts. We never track what we spend, whether our refunds actually get refunded etc.

Husband still said tonight that he is happy with the hire car sitting outside on the drive and said I've been happy up until now as well (we've been hiring for three years since we returned from abroad with nothing). I've woken up but he still thinks it's fine. I think he just doesn't like to admit he is in the wrong. He did agree though that if I find a good deal of a car and we are able to pay over two months then to let him know. I suspect it would have to be an absolute winner to make him budge though. He insists our credit cards are up to the max and we can't afford to put £2000 on them - only £630 a month to pay for the hire car. Surely some garages let you pay in two instalments? I will have to investigate. So onto Auto Trader tomorrow.

Husband also said he has no desire to spend the weekend cleaning when he has been working all week. Pointed out that I'm at home so I can spend all the time cleaning and ironing if that is what I wish to do. But pointed out that I have been studying for eight years and now have my dream qualifications so I would be far better hiring the services of others whilst I go and get some good money in. Fair point - he has supported me for many years.

So it looks like I'm going to be busy - reducing costs, ironing, mopping and hoovering and looking for cars. Think I might go and bury my head again........

This is why I thought it would be good for you to keep this space for yourself ! Don't let it get you down though - as you say you have had a light bulb moment but he hasn't yet. You will have to be determined and get in control of the budgets.


So, he's moaning about the housework already. That's okay - you were planning an hour a week on a Sunday - now it's maybe an hour and a half with one less. Let him sit and read the newspapers whilst you all have fun. I would still finish with the 'help' though as you need those savings.


I really think you can reduce your groceries budget though - starting this month coming.


So I suggest you go through all your stocks, fridge and freezer(s) and make an inventory of what you have in hand over the next two days.


Friday afternoon you can sit down and make a meal plan for February. You just need a large sheet of paper and your inventory. Trying to use lots of what you already have make a meal plan for 29 days.


Now you can make a list of what you want to buy for these meals that you do not already have in stock. You can now go to A*di or L*dl with a shopping list on the weekend and get what you need, including fresh stuff for the first week.


You might find you need to go to another shop for a few things but you will still have saved money.


You should now only have to buy fresh stuff maybe twice a week for the whole month and you can give DH a list for these. You will have to get DH onside here to only buy what is on the lists !!


The beauty of a monthly meal plan is that if you don't fancy what you planned for today, you can swop it around as you already have everything in house


If you can get this down to £600-£700 for the next two months then you could put the extra towards a car as well as the savings on the home 'help'


If you need to ask anything please do.
Lx

Sanctioned_Parts_List

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Oh dear, dh isn't happy with me tonight. He still insists I am fiddling around in the teaspoon drawer and the answer is to keep the cleaner and ironer etc and for me to start looking for work.

Chin up! There are a lot of families on here where OH is not entirely on board with idea of cutting back. Ironically I spotted these two blog entries yesterday.

That blog's bravado sometimes grates, but the maths is sound.

Anyway - the subject of the first blog entry doubled his salary, made no difference to his wealth. Halved his spending, wealth increased exponentially.

The second addresses what to do if OH is not on board, although actually it's probably simpler just to lead by example and get the kids on board, and by the time OH realises, you'll have the evidence you need to say, "see, told you so!"

DawnW

A small point, but would meal planning (as has already been mentioned) and online grocery shopping not help the OP? This would at least prevent her husband from spending silly amounts in the supermarket, and give her control over this aspect of their budget. Why does he want to be grocery shopping anyway, given how hard he works? If he prefers one particular supermarket, then use them, but at least there would be less money spent on rubbish like plastic cups (I think that was one item mentioned). You don't have to stick to one supermarket, either, as most now deliver (not Aldi or Lidl, but I find I can't get everything from them in any case, though I do use them for top up shopping). If you have a voucher code for say, Sainsburys one week and Tesco the next, then use both!

Personally, I love Ocado, who are cheaper than Tesco for many things, and the quality is twice as good - and if a particular item seems expensive, then I just get it elsewhere.

A small thing perhaps, but cutting down on that horrendous shopping bill would at least pay for a few kids activities!

getmore4less

One shop that surprised me with free local delivery was Iceland,

They tend to be town center and a lot of their target market(in our town) seem to use public transport and delivery is a bonus for those, also on some product lines they are great value and quality.

(I see online its £30min shop I need to check but our local I think it was £25 last time we were in and loads were shopping and leaving their purchases for delivery)

questionss

Jumping in and my first shout is one of congratulations for setting things in motion

Just reading through a few points - my husband is also a high earner, I bring home about 23k from a part time job too but that only started a few months ago. We've 3 smaller kids (6, 4, 18mth) so just getting into beavers subs and school expenses...
I am however the spender and hubby the saver, luckily I spend on small day to day stuff and save on big things too.
Hubby drives an old car - cost us £800.
We have had a cleaner in the past but don't currently. I try and keep on too of the house through the week and the kids do a 10min tidy with me each evening. If I was struggling a cleaner would be the next step, DH will not clean after a week in work. I bought a roomba for £270 (3months of our cleaner) which has helped me massively - the floors need to be cleared for it to run and hoovering can happen whilst I'm doing other stuff. It's been 9months without a cleaner now so even accounting for the cost if the roomba we've saved £520

Forward_thinking

Thanks for the posts above - I tend to take stock of them all in the evening when the children are in bed. Actually, I really look forward to coming on here for more words of wisdom. A really frustrating morning. I asked husband what car requirements he has and he said none, because he is totally happy with the hire car. AAgh - bangs head against the wall. We've had this car for about 40 months and I've only just woken up. He's still comatosed about it. He has agreed to look at any cars I can find him if they are with a private seller - said he wouldn't touch a trader with a barge pole. Is that really a problem? I don't know much about buying cars but he said if we are buying cheap we will just buy problems. So that really limits the choice I get on auto trader. I also asked him to get a meter/elec reading (right at the back of the garage) so we can get a cheque back. He hasn't done that yet - just keeps telling me I'm just procrastinating and should be looking for work at £60 hour. Frustrating morning.

Willowpop

So, compromise with your husband...spend the morning looking for work in your chosen profession, and a few hours in the afternoon cost cutting.
Even if you get work you still don't actually *need* a cleaner or the hire car...you'd still be wasting the same amount of money on them as you are now. You can still implement the cost cutting measures AND save money on stuff you don't need to be paying out on.
Plenty of us out here have both parents working and don't have a cleaner. My daughter knows on a Sunday she strips the beds, I hoover round quickly most days after work to keep on top of the pet hair, and on Sundays I steam the floors and give the place a general clean up. Doesn't take long. I do a little bit of general tidying in each room every day to keep on top of it all. Nope, we don't live in a show house, but it's a normal house.

There's no reason you can't create the career you've studied for, and your wages would indeed be fabulous, but they are not a reason to throw money away in the current fashion.

Keep going,it took 3 years to get my husband on board!