SOA - please help!! I want to start today!

lee111s

It was just an example of what's available, there's plenty out there. What's the chances of that being so close to you LOL. I put in a random postcode down south and searched within 50 miles of it!




You can use 3 months payment to pay if off, then from May you're £600 a month better off which can go towards actually clearing some real debt. You're going to be spending that £600 on something you'll never own anyway.

m4rc

You are thinking of losing everything and having a hard life, but you don't really need to change much, you don't need to camp in the garden, you just need to change key things and your habits.

Let's take the cleaner and ironed, both luxuries. I've just posted on a thread where a couple spend on groceries less than half of the £225 per month that you spend on cleaning. Yes there are only two of them and if I'm honest I have no idea how they do it, but they simply can't afford more. Not trying to make you feel bad, just it's a reality check, it's a luxury. If I said I had a butler and struggling to manage my finances you would laugh and tell me to get rid of him. But why, he's so helpful, and my wife says if I just work a bit I can afford to keep him on.

I don't have a butler by the way!

The car, as has been really well pointed out above, can be leased or purchased for a grand, and as lee111s said if you were the unluckiest people out there and it broke down all the time it's STILL cheaper than what you have now. The fact is it won't, and deep down you know it. I went from my dream sports car to a broken Vauxhall cavalier during a freezing winter with no heater and the drivers window only went half way up. It cost me £50, this wasn't 25 years ago this was 12 years ago, I had to do it, it was so depressing and then it became funny, and now I just look back and say why did I waste so much money on materialistic rubbish.

You don't need to go that far, you are not falling apart and about to lose it all, so make some savings for a few months and spend a few k on a nice secondhand car. You can get it wi a warranty, get breakdown cover (tenner a month) and there is no reason why it can't last years without a hiccup. You don't need to go to extremes, but you need to think of savings in every area. Ultimately the more you save on hints like cleaners you can spend on cars. This isn't the way to do it but if you got a car for a couple of grand, then you would be saving around £500 a month going forward, that's 6k a year. Add in the cleaner that's 8.5k, £200 a month from the groceries that's 11k, add 2.5k from the holiday budget, for 13.5k you can buy some seriously nice cars, and it's yours, no ongoing rental payments. Of course that means you have spent a lot of what you've saved, just showing there are alternatives, thats how other people afford to buy nice cars for cash - nice holidays for 2k not 5, no cleaners etc.

Keep Spotify, have a Saturday treats, they are not what is making the difference here, they add up of course, but if you can make big savings the little ones will come later. No sunny holidays? I'm pretty sure we had the hottest June/July for many years last year, certainly gorgeous weather where I was. I didn't have to pay 5k to borrow someone else's sun either, I had plenty of my own!

No nice clothes - you have nice clothes, and can buy more, just ease back a bit. No merlin passes - look at the cost, if that's the one thing that makes you all happy keep them. Do you save money with them? If you make great use of them build them into your budget, but you need to save somewhere else. Or not, you don't have to do any of this, but is the life sustainable? Mmerlin passes, expensive clothes, overpriced barbers (sorry, but no barber is worth £50 a hair cut, any decent barber could do the same he just may not have a fake Italian name and a salon he is struggling to pay the rent on in a prime high street, your husband is paying for HIS Mersin passes and cleaner!)..... Or own your house, live the life you really want without worry of debt. You can choose

A diary IS a great idea, it is good to see the journey you've taken, and - trust me on this - once you start making cuts it becomes easier, and easier, almost addictive, you get pleasure out of the serious money you have saved. Change the details, I doubt you could be recognised, this is a busy forum but I don't personally know anyone who uses the forums. Just anonymise stuff, make up new names for the kids etc, leave out key details and add in things to throw people.

Lastly, do you plan ahead for meals? I don't do what I should and make bulk and freeze and all that great stuff, but I do sit down with the family and we plan what we want for dinner over the next couple of weeks. We all get to choose, it's kind of fun. Then we order the ingredients to make those meals. That means we have what we need and don't need to pop out to get something, as you know you will always come back with more than you went for! It also means you don't order stuff you don't need that will get wasted. I'm realistic, there will always be some waste, but a lot less. At first we were all against this idea. What if we don't want meatballs on Wednesday and a roast on Sunday? Well then don't, you can swap days, that doesn't matter as long as you have the ingredients already (otherwise it's more shopping and chances are you will waste a meal) and it's already planned, and you then use ingredients for the cancelled meal another night. I think that makes sense...

It's so god that you are still with us, I know it's scary, and it's easy to think that you are going to live the life of hell, but the reality is you are not, and the best bit is you can plan some big dreams for your futures. Start thinking about savings accounts for the kids to go to u I so they can start their adult lives debt free, start thinking about their first car fund, wedding funds, stuff like that, then things get easier as suddenly the priority isn't an expensive trim from Georgio Costalotio and a hamster hair cardigan, it's giving your kids what most of us never had. Kids will love your 'new life' - it can be fun if you all want to to be. Oh and get them cleaning, they can help to reduce that £2500 a year do,estimated staff bill - I am all for child labour!

Keep smiling

anna_1977

Hi, so ignoring the hire car you own a small old car (value?) what car does your husband drive everyday? Just wondering if you could give him yours and then change the lease on his?

m4rc

Forward_thinking wrote: »

I said to hubby this morning two cleaners come in for 3 hours - one is lovely but is so slow. The other is great. If we got all our children to join in with a one hour cleaning session on a Sunday morning armed with a duster, hoover, mop between seven of us we could be done in under an hour. Ok - they won't be as good as adults but there's SEVEN of us. And it's a great life-style skill for them to learn (probably make them think twice before making the place messy as well).

Hahaha you said it as I was posting! Yeah get them cleaning, put the music on loud and make it fun, sounds silly but will be a laugh, and everyone has achieved something positive.

So great you are looking at the cars already, and not spending an extra couple of k means you have already saved lots of money. Keep going, that was one of the harder ones to do and you are already on it. I'm sure you know to shop around with the insurance, don't just go with someone you know or a broker, loads of great advice on this site for car insurance

Upsidedown_Bear

Forward_thinking wrote: »

At the moment, I agree with my husband (and another poster) that moving would be a distraction and a big cost. We would need a removals company, hefty deposit, lose our current deposit, need to clean, waste time packing etc. I am really eager to move - I don't even like the house we are in. But it's not the right time at the moment. M4rc - you observed well - I am desperate to have our own house but that can never happen with the status quo.

Hello :hello:

Can't add to all the great advice you've had but just one small point. Assuming you rented your house after 6 April 2007 your deposit has to be protected and returned to you.
Some info here:
https://www.gov.uk/tenancy-deposit-protection/overview

Forward_thinking

Thanks everyone. Have just cancelled medical insurance (was paying £600 month but was about to change to £300 - won't for now. Have lost all our pre-existing history now anyway so it's done. That's what I was dreading!)

Rang up about the car - it's sold but he's taken my number and told me to look for a galaxy as they're more reliable.

Just about to check our council tax band - just a quick calculation but I am determined to get the magnifying glass out and put it on absolutely everything. Also busy decluttering the house - on my last room (not including that garage!) I'm currently balancing on a stool checking the medical cupboard - postman just looked at me as if I was crazy! Especially as the one year old was up there with me - holding on to him obviously. It's my last room and the house is totally organised and decluttered. Apart from the garage. Somehow it's true - tidy house, tidy mind. It makes me feel I can really do this debt sorting.

Sanctioned_Parts_List

m4rc wrote: »

and - trust me on this - once you start making cuts it becomes easier, and easier, almost addictive, you get pleasure out of the serious money you have saved.

Just wanted to pick this part out as it's pretty much exactly what I was going to write.

But also from the other direction - changing your lifestyle is like training for a marathon. You don't go out and just run 26.2 miles on a whim - you'll injure yourself and give up. Nor do you go from luxury to frugality in a day and a half.

This week you've already realised you're in trouble, joined this board, done your SOA, and examined and challenged everything you hold dear, identified cuts you can make and come up with the beginnings of a plan. That's not insignificant, is it?

Take stock for a couple of days - set up your tracking spreadsheets, or download YNAB (or any of the equally good free accounting packages out there) and get familiar with how that works. Then make each change one at a time. And record it.

Put all your spending into the computer. Keep your receipts and check them against bank statements. Introduce a bit of accounting-hassle into your evenings.

And then make a change a day. Or a change a week. Or a change a month. Whatever pace of change you're comfortable with until you've unwound your spendy lifestyle and replaced it with a happy one.

The thing I found, as part of my Wile E. Coyote-style light bulb slowly flickering into life, was that simply being aware of what I was spending, stopped the spending... and I was able prepared to make my own changes much faster than I thought possible at the start.

I was very much like your husband at the beginning - I actually felt insulted at the idea that my income wasn't sufficient, and realising this was a kick in the teeth. But then I was also angry that the interest I was paying the bank was more than I was spending on family fun, which was strangely motivating. Your OH is spending just under £410 in interest alone on those two CCs. That buys a lot of hair cuts.

Bootnote: my VPN's slow this evening, and can't get MSE from here without it (seems to need some google-script or other), so have crossed over yet more changes! Go you!

northerner999

m4rc wrote: »

You are thinking of losing everything and having a hard life, but you don't really need to change much, you don't need to camp in the garden, you just need to chang


Keep Spotify, have a Saturday treats, they are not what is making the difference here, they add up of course, but if you can make big savings the little ones will come later. No sunny holidays? I'm pretty sure we had the hottest June/July for many years last year, certainly gorgeous weather where I was. I didn't have to pay 5k to borrow someone else's sun either, I had plenty of my own!

No nice clothes - you have nice clothes, and can buy more, just ease back a bit. No merlin passes - look at the cost, if that's the one thing that makes you all happy keep them. Do you save money with them? If you make great use of them build them into your budget, but you need to save somewhere else. Or not, you don't have to do any of this, but is the life sustainable? Mmerlin passes, expensive clothes, overpriced barbers (sorry, but no barber is worth £50 a hair cut, any decent barber could do the same he just may not have a fake Italian name and a salon he is struggling to pay the rent on in a prime high street, your husband is paying for HIS Mersin passes and cleaner!)..... Or own your house, live the life you really want without worry of debt. You can choose

Keep smiling

I echo this. It is not about living the life of a monastery, but finding a balance. Your husband's attitude of earning more to make up the shortfall will simply never work.

I am a big advocate of keeping treats in budgets. For me that meant keeping my £45 PCM gym membership and taking up Sky's offer of £25 PCM telly when they decided they really wanted to keep me as a. Customer. I would have gone insane without the gym membership to offset to cuts I made elsewhere, though of course I have found that while I am paying debt still I have no more stress because I am in control and know I won't run out of money before payday. If everyone buys in then you will be in control before you know it and be able to really relax on holiday this summer.

One suggestion on cleaning. I agree with the idea of losing the cleaner and like the idea of making it a family sweep for an hour or so. Why not combine that with your treats budget, by telling the kids (and your husband) that for every hour spent doing that they've earned a pound or so (not sure what current pocket money standard is, I got a quid a week and was chuffed with it!) towards whatever treat they want. Let them decide if they want to save up for a cinema trip or go and play football. It'll work out a lot cheaper than a cleaner and, so long as you budget it properly, affordable.

I really hope your husband realises how important this is. Rather than thinking he needs to work harder to pay for everything, hopefully he will realise that by paying for less he can actually have more of a family life. As others have said, you can stop the debt increasing instantly, start repaying quickly next month, then you can very quickly move to a point where you have a strong hand to decide your future life - whether that is buying a house or not.

getmore4less

Forward_thinking wrote: »

I'm not bothered about the cleaner - happy to do it ourselves. I do agree with you Brightspark - everything counts.

Lee111 - that's a 15 minute drive from us. Thank you!! Have rung them up and left a message although it's probably gone. Know hubby wants a galaxy but beggars can't be choosers. He says we can't afford another two grand - that we don't have it - I guess we would have to put it on the credit card. Vicious circle. Oh, off to buy a lottery ticket : ((

Can afford £650pm how long has the rental car been going on for.

scaredofdebt

We have 6 children, youngest still not properly on solids yet but we budget £400 a month for food including pet food (we have pets, not feeding it to the kids!)

We don't always hit £400 but it's always under £500 so you can certainly make savings there - if you use a meal planner and stick to that when shopping (make a list) it will help. We do still have the odd bottle of wine, the odd takeaway etc, so we aren't exactly living on beans on toast!