SOA - please help!! I want to start today!

Forward_thinking

Evening. Just spent a good hour reading each and every one of your posts - thanks so much. M4rc - the time you spent to write to a stranger made me cry.

I can't blame my husband for being the spender - we're both as bad. We just haven't budgeted. He does the shopping to help me out and I am the one who pushes for the holiday abroad each year.

I will be going through each and every payment - will even look at the council tax. Immediate things I am looking to change with husband's approval:

- stop the cleaner
- try and get a cheap car and get rid of hire car
- review children's clubs
- review our landline costs
- try and get our £1200 groceries bill down to £600 - husband says not possible
- parties and xmas will be dramatically reduced
- spend less on clothes, haircuts
- half budget for holiday
- look up Dave Ramsay/ Money Moustache/ Living Stingy
- get up and running myself and get some added cash flow
- get children involved and take on board their ideas.

At the moment, I agree with my husband (and another poster) that moving would be a distraction and a big cost. We would need a removals company, hefty deposit, lose our current deposit, need to clean, waste time packing etc. I am really eager to move - I don't even like the house we are in. But it's not the right time at the moment. M4rc - you observed well - I am desperate to have our own house but that can never happen with the status quo.

Happy though with today's progress. Not bad for a start......

Thank you so much. Been a long day......

lynnejk

Hiya


I've been following your posting and first of all I'd like to say Well done on taking the first step :T


Your situation can be turned round, as other posters have indicated, but don't try to do too much to start and start to feel daunted by the task.


I think sorting out your budget is the most important thing for you to do at the moment. You don't say what you're 'returning to work' would involve, but it would probably take time, effort and money away from sorting your budget


Here are a couple of threads that you might find useful to help you with budgeting/saving/making money. Just put into the 'Forum Search' box and have a read - join in even


February 2016 Grocery Challenge

2016 Frugal Living Challenge




Also, with such a big house, could you maybe take in a lodger (even Mon-Fri) to help with the bills for a few months if you living near London. Another idea would be to take exchange students, as they stay as part of the family and it would be another income.


Good luck and keep posting
Lx

getmore4less

You have enough income and cash flow to meet all the current committed payments.

That means this/next month you should be able to at least break even on cash flow and not increase the debt. That should be a target

The trick will be to start reducing those commitments for the months going forward to free up money for the thing that need paying for later.

Some things you can just stop for a month or two or three
Clothes audit and essential new stuff only consider hand me downs and charity shops for the growing kids that grow out of stuff before wearing out. For yourselves stick with what you have and only buy when stuff is on offer.
No parties
Holiday on hold till you free up real money for it.
etc.

The two big ones that can be addressed are the car and the groceries

The car is fairly obvious but if you need help then we need more info like what cars you are running, trip mix, why you think you need a 7 seater etc.

Groceries I think you probably need to sit down and work out what you really need against what you actually are getting in review where some of the stuff should come from that is cheaper than your current sources.

Where are you shopping now?

You might benefit from a big on-line shop and that will cut out the random shops that are probably one source of the massive over spend.
always make a list for shopping stop the impulse buys.
review waste.
there are loads of threads on sorting out household spends find what works for your family.

Definitely get the kids on board.

This sort of income is into house ownership rather than rent, probably some historic reasons why you got to today living in a rental you don't even like.

Moving forward if a house become a primary goal that might be a focus for change that everyone buy into.

Oh your £5k holiday is £420pm, saved another £80pm

Don't forget to start the spending diary and keep the SOA up to date when you change things like a DD or cancel a club.


What car is being hired?
I just did a check and I found rates at under £400 for perfectly reasonable cars even something like a I30(70mpg).

matchboxfull

Really impressed with how positive you're being. Looking forward to subscribing to your Debt Free Diary if you start one.

Sanctioned_Parts_List

Morning, I didn't want to read and run but don't have a lot to contribute that hasn't already been said.

All I can offer is to note that it is daunting having a board full of people picking apart your lifestyle and priorities. And for your husband, this will feel like a kick in the teeth. You both have an expectation for a certain standard of living, and he's done a superb job in supplying the income to support it, and he'll no doubt feel initially quite insulted that his ability to provide is being questioned. I know this, I've been there!

So imagine yourself a few years in the future - how do you want your life to be? Let's say you want to be in your own house, with a car or cars that you own, happy, healthy children, food on the table and relaxed husband. How do you get from here to there?

Good memories are important, but they're formed every single day, not just over 2 weeks in summer and one day in winter. My parents were fantastically busy - my Dad to the extent he commuted internationally for many years and I saw him possibly every other weekend. The memories I value? I don't really remember the big holidays as separate events. One hotel with a pool and a beach is very much like another and they all just sort of blend together into the same fuzzy "sunnee timez" memory.

But I do remember having a picnic in the back garden with both parents home one sunny spring afternoon, the first time I beat my Dad playing squash (and that I've never managed to since), going out late one night with my Mum to watch a lunar eclipse, the Dads vs. Kids football matches in the street...

The point is the strongest and best memories are not the occasions where my parents spent the most money on me. It was where they spent the most time with me.

So really look at these things again. Is it worth going out to work, when that adds cost (childcare) and takes away something more valuable from their lives (you)? Would they be happier with 2 weeks in the Seychelles, or having Dad home earlier?

Your task is to find out what really makes you happy, then find the minimum amount of money it takes to fund it. Anything beyond that is pushing you apart, not bringing you together.

getmore4less

If on 10 month Council tax it's the 2 free months to help the cash flow.

Cant remember if you outlined the debts are they CC/loans Is that £500 on each the min payment or a target payment?

m4rc

Forward_thinking wrote: »

- try and get our £1200 groceries bill down to £600 - husband says not possible

Being blunt. It is 'possible'. There are families with more adults and more kids spending less than 600 a month, it's really possible. However, is it 'easy' - no, not when you are spending twice that. And it won't be much fun, that I do agree. The important thing is that you reduce the bill. If you took it down by £100 a mon over the next 4 months that would make a big difference, and you could do a lot of that with brand swapping and avoiding waste, you could likely have most if not all of what you currently get, and I'm sure nobody would notice.

Have you ever seen the programme where he two presenters take over a families shopping, swapping everything into plain packaging, some brands swapped some not? It's basically doing this, the point proven in every episode that I have seen is that you can't usually tell if it's he same item and it can save a significant amount.

Also, don't swap your favourite tea, or cheese, or something you adore, swap cleaning products, swap deodorants. People get snobbish about personal hygiene products, I always had to have the branded items costing several pounds but now use products from Liddl costing something like 70p. In all honesty I really don't notice and looking back wonder why I even cared! These small items add up. Not so long ago I would rather poke myself in the eye than set foot in Liddl or Aldi, Asda was not good enough, I was a total brand snob. I now live in miles from anywhere and any supermarket visit is a big chunk out of my day. My nearest is a Liddl and I love that I can do a lot of my shopping there and enjoy swapping brands and saving money (sad got eh!!). Once a week we get a delivery from Asda - I let them do the work, saves me money on petrol, saves me time, and I don't go buying things I don't need because I'm falling for their clever placement tricks around the store. I actually got excited when I found out an Aldi was opening in July just 20 miles from us (that's pretty close for a shop and I will drive past it a few times a week). I can't believe I am excited about an Aldi, but yep, I am. It will help me to save a bit more and give me more choice and variety. Try it, don't try and halve your bill, don't get the kids and hubby resisting, you need them on board. Set yourselves little challenges to save a few pounds each, see who can save the most.

Forward_thinking wrote: »

At the moment, I agree with my husband (and another poster) that moving would be a distraction and a big cost. We would need a removals company, hefty deposit, lose our current deposit, need to clean, waste time packing etc. I am really eager to move - I don't even like the house we are in. But it's not the right time at the moment. M4rc - you observed well - I am desperate to have our own house but that can never happen with the status quo.

A distraction yes, but a big cost, I'm not so sure. Why do you think you will lose your deposit? Nobody was suggesting abandoning the contract and sneaking out overnight, just give notice and move when the contract is up for renewal, or at least move to a rolling monthly contract when it happens so you can move so much more easily. You will get the deposit back as long as you haven't damaged the house and leave it in good condition - you don't sound like the sort of family who would have trashed the place! Here may be a cash flow situation where you need to pay another deposit before getting yours back, but it's not impossible. We decided to move hundreds of miles and 8 weeks later we were in our new house, we didn't have a deposit saved but we wanted to make it work. It was tricky but we did it, that was changing jobs, schools, medical stuff for disabled son and all.

No way was I going to do the move myself, we had a removal company do the leg work although we did do the packing ourselves, took a while and had boxes everywhere but we did it. If you think you could save just £500 a month then by not moving it's costing you £3,000 every 6 months, 6k a year, 12k over 2 years etc. So it's not a case of a big cost moving, it's a big cost staying put, it's not a waste of time packing, it's a waste of time and money not moving, as between you you could do £6000 a year less in working hours for the same net financial result. Is it going to cost 6k to pack? Save a bit more and pay someone to do the packing for you, it's a bit of a luxury as you just pack overnight bags and close the door, but it's a lot less stress. You will still save money, just a little slower.

Either way you don't have to move next week, but it should be in your plans, ideally something like 12 months as that gives you plenty of time for all the planning. Leave it much later and you will jsut keep putting it off, targets are important, but they need to be have strict time rules whilst being realistic.

There really is no reason why you guys can't buy a house, you have a great income, you just need to make some changes and maybe a few sacrifices for a few years, but it doesn't have to be painful, you don't have to live on bread and water!

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Happy though with today's progress. Not bad for a start......

Thank you so much. Been a long day......

You've made a great start

Forward_thinking

Morning!!! Thanks for the recent replies - appreciate other's view points. Ours are obviously not so good or we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

I'll try to answer some of the questions. We hire a small 7 seater which we need to fit us all in. I also have a small car (very old) that doesn't fit everyone in and pretty much runs itself. Hubby agrees that we need to look at changing this asap. He's self employed so no chance of leasing through the company and we don't have a deposit for a lease car. Or to get a reliable car. So we are going to have to take a gamble and buy something for about a grand and hope it doesn't break down. Not bothered about it being old as someone suggested - mine is so old it doesn't even lock anymore!

We are also taking drastic action on the food front - we are going to change from Sainsburys to Lidls and use a stash of money put in a pot - £600 to start off with for the month although hubby says that would be impossible. At least if we use cash we know how quickly we are getting through it.

As for CCs it varies month to month but usually about £1k a month - depends on the minimum required from the banks and varies.

The cleaner is the sticky one at the moment. We pay £220 a month on a cleaner and an ironer. I really want to get rid of them (even though they are lovely, lovely people) but hubby doesn't want to. He says if I'm earning soon it would be crazy as they are a negligible amount. We have agreed to give it one more month and if I am not working by then we will cancel them.

I really really want to go back to work part time which is great. I absolutely love what I do and have just graduated in my chosen profession. I have worked so hard over the last few years and am desperate to get stuck in helping people. Won't expand - worried I will be recognised. I will be self employed but will be charging £60 an hour (cheap for around here - but won't expand any further). So hubby says we should be able to hold onto the cleaner.

Sanctioned - your fourth paragraph made me cry. You speak so wisely as did the poster who talked about having an ice cream in the rain. I still think we might try and use our flight points to get to Majorca though - that guarantee of sunshine is hard to resist. I know that's crazy. Perhaps once I actually see our budget I might change my mind and not want to spend on this. Up to now, we haven't really tracked our finances which has got us into this situation.

Thinking it would be good to write an on-line diary but worried about someone recognising me.

Forward_thinking

Reading through my post - I'm not quite there yet am I??? Still keeping the cleaner, talking of a holiday in the sunshine..... Baby steps. We'll get there - it's just a shock to the system. We've had such a lovely life and now we are paying the price for it. No cleaner, no ironer, no medical insurance, no sunny holiday, no treats on a Saturday, no spotify, less clubs, uncomfortable car, no Merlin passes anymore (due to renew), no nice clothes, small house with bunk beds........we shouldn't have had these in the first place - but it's still hard. But do it we will!!!!!!!

getmore4less

There are low starting cost lease options I think you could go down that route. could probably get a car under £200pm if you drop the 7 seats and your planned £1k for a car will cover the up front.

How often do you need a 7 seater, for many trips just run 2 cars and the running costs will be lower for the day to day.