SOA - please help!! I want to start today!

thegreenone

You are amazing, just in the last couple of days! Although I accept you may have to buy a car on your cc, as Lee said, it would only take a few months to recoup and with stopping medical, cleaner and piano lessons, how much better off will you be? £1000 per month????? Just with those cutbacks. Cut the food bill. £1500 better off per month? If your husband is self-employed, can you join Costco? Don't forget Nectar points, not only from Sainsburys but from BP too can be put towards easyjet flights. My dentist in Surrey was taking on new NHS patients, check with your local ones. Phone around. You're paying for the children when you don't need to be. Good luck.


Forgot to add, I would agree on shopping at Liddl but there are things I need but can't buy there. Work out what you can't buy at Liddl and have Mr S deliver those. It does mean a really serious look at what you actually need. Once little one is out of nappies that will be a big saving too!!!

Willowpop

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Thanks everyone yet again. I keep thinking everyone has said all there is to say but then along comes another golden nugget.

Feeling terribly guilty at the moment. My son is supposed to be going to piano lesson tonight - I've just cancelled it. He wanted to continue but said he didn't think he was good enough and didn't think he would have the willpower to practise every night. So it's gone - it was costing £24 each lesson. And that's almost the price of the cleaner who I am thinking of sadly finishing. He's upstairs at the moment and I suspect he has agreed to end because of our conversation last night. Feel horrible but know it's the right move for us all. : ((

Please don't feel bad. Perhaps he can find another hobby? My daughter gave up horse riding (30 per lesson) and now swims (6 per lesson) and she loves it just as much.
If your son still wants to play piano but doesn't want to practice every night, perhaps look on YouTube for tutorials that will allow him to learn but at his own pace without the pressure (or the cost) of a piano teacher. - I'm assuming there are tutorials on YouTube, there are tutorials for just about everything on there!

Forward_thinking

Great points about Nectar and Costco. Thank you. I've made a deal with hubby - we aren't going to cancel the cleaner next week and will see how it goes on Sunday getting everyone to join in for an hour of cleaning. Wish me luck.

Re piano I'm feeling horrible. I seem to be more bothered than him. We've made a pact that we will learn together ten minutes a night. We're both at the same kind of stage so would work well if I can only find the time.

As for dentists, I think that will be a step too far. Our dentist is amazing and I trust him implicitly. We've been going to him for 25 years and until he retires I think we'll be staying with him. He knows us all so well and I would never want to go anywhere else. I really want to hang on to him.....ugh, this is so hard. On the plus side, my kitchen is great and empty. Totally minimalist and I only have one more room to go. The children came in and asked where everything was. They'd better get used to it - the cupboards are going to be like Mother Hubbard's : (( (need to learn how to use smiley faces on here as I suspect this is going to be taking over from facebook!)

getmore4less

Never was a fan of Sainsbury

We have all the supermakets close and try to go at price reduction time as regular as possible, not going to be so easy with kids. but if carting them to clubs lessons anytime around 6-8 might be worth checking if you can slip in a visit.

Waitrose have the best reduction/quality on meat so we buy up and freeze.

Other big savings can be made by stocking up when stuff is on offer especialy those things on the list every week.

A bit of research will give you the lowball price and then you just need space more stuff for the garage

m4rc

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Great points about Nectar and Costco. Thank you. I've made a deal with hubby - we aren't going to cancel the cleaner next week and will see how it goes on Sunday getting everyone to join in for an hour of cleaning. Wish me luck.

How much cleaning do they actually do? I think I read you said they were slow, are you paying for anything?

We don't have a big clean, we tidy the kitchen as we go, beds get made each day changed every few days, bathrooms have a quick clean once a week, Hoover round once a week. It's far from spotless but it's not dirty, although we live in a 600 year old cottage so the cobwebs look like they should be there! :rotfl:

If you need the cleaner keep them on, you have done so many other things, but do consider the 25k (plus inflation) you could save over 10 years, and the 60k plus over the 25 year life of a mortgage that you pay for someone to slowly half clean your house.

I would have thought that would be a good swap for a holiday fund - everyone cleans but in return you have 2.5k for a holiday. Just so,e thoughts, I know you want to keep them on so feel free to ignore me.

I'm off to ask my butler what time he is serving supper - he's very slow today...

runforlife

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Reading through my post - I'm not quite there yet am I??? Still keeping the cleaner, talking of a holiday in the sunshine..... Baby steps. We'll get there - it's just a shock to the system. We've had such a lovely life and now we are paying the price for it. No cleaner, no ironer, no medical insurance, no sunny holiday, no treats on a Saturday, no spotify, less clubs, uncomfortable car, no Merlin passes anymore (due to renew), no nice clothes, small house with bunk beds........we shouldn't have had these in the first place - but it's still hard. But do it we will!!!!!!!

We all pay the price for our history along the way in some way. Approach with the mindset that at that time it was the right thing to do, however now it isn't. That will help. Then:

Cleaner? DIY cleaning and get fitter as you do it
Ironer? Do you really need to iron ALL those clothes? Engage the older kids into helping out. Result -Family involvement and family standards set.
Nice clothes? Surely you have some nice clothes already? Then set to making small additions only and using a 'capsule' wardrobe until things sort themselves out. There are some high quality 'retro' or 'second hand' shops too now.
Medical Insurance? Most of the population doesn't have it! Offer to volunteer with charities that deal with the sick/ill and help those that need it. This will make you feel better about yourselves and the lot you have been given.
Sunny Holiday? Take a UK break in July. Always nicer than August. Dartmouth is lovely on the South coast and like being in southern France on a warm day.
Saturday treats? Why not go and support your local teams in the parks? Rugby, Hockey? Football? Never know you may get the bug and end up participating. Offer to help out on match days etc.
Spotify? Use the free version and listen to the odd advert. Its ok
Clubs? See answer for Saturday. Boxing clubs are often cheap if the kids are interested in that. Doesn't have to be contact boxing - great keep fit and their mind will be off the tablets/phone/PC
Car? Take to cycling or walking too. It's cheaper and healthier. Treat the old banger like public transport and 'buy a ticket' every time you use it!
Merlin passes? Is that the gym? Use the roads and think how good you are and how fitter you are getting when you're running past the large people in their car in the traffic queues.
Small house? All the reason for getting out there and seeing what this wonderful country has to offer. If you can afford it National Trust membership provides great value once purchased.
All the very best of luck to you all

runforlife

Sanctioned_Parts_List wrote: »

Just wanted to pick this part out as it's pretty much exactly what I was going to write.

But also from the other direction - changing your lifestyle is like training for a marathon. You don't go out and just run 26.2 miles on a whim - you'll injure yourself and give up. Nor do you go from luxury to frugality in a day and a half.

This week you've already realised you're in trouble, joined this board, done your SOA, and examined and challenged everything you hold dear, identified cuts you can make and come up with the beginnings of a plan. That's not insignificant, is it?

Take stock for a couple of days - set up your tracking spreadsheets, or download YNAB (or any of the equally good free accounting packages out there) and get familiar with how that works. Then make each change one at a time. And record it.

Put all your spending into the computer. Keep your receipts and check them against bank statements. Introduce a bit of accounting-hassle into your evenings.

And then make a change a day. Or a change a week. Or a change a month. Whatever pace of change you're comfortable with until you've unwound your spendy lifestyle and replaced it with a happy one.

The thing I found, as part of my Wile E. Coyote-style light bulb slowly flickering into life, was that simply being aware of what I was spending, stopped the spending... and I was able prepared to make my own changes much faster than I thought possible at the start.

I was very much like your husband at the beginning - I actually felt insulted at the idea that my income wasn't sufficient, and realising this was a kick in the teeth. But then I was also angry that the interest I was paying the bank was more than I was spending on family fun, which was strangely motivating. Your OH is spending just under £410 in interest alone on those two CCs. That buys a lot of hair cuts.

Bootnote: my VPN's slow this evening, and can't get MSE from here without it (seems to need some google-script or other), so have crossed over yet more changes! Go you!

Best post on here in a long time! Spot on!

Forward_thinking

Thanks everyone. Good points. M4rc - you made me laugh out loud about saving 25k - on reading 60k over 25 years I was no longer laughing but shocked. That is a huge amount. Still working on hubby with this one - will see how it goes on Sunday and then probably cancel next week. Will feel bad as she is now a family friend but we'll cope.

Turns out the medical care isn't cancelled yet - still down to £300 from £600 but it needs to go. I'm hanging on again. Still lost all the pre-existing history after reducing so know it doesn't have the same hold over us any more. Mustering up the strength on that one.

Two questions for you - does your partner read this thread? I was wondering if it would be good for husband to read this but wondering if it would be better to have somewhere to vent.

My other question is: does this saving lark get completely addictive or is it just because I am really fired up at the moment. I ask because I was really looking forward to husband getting home so I could check his bags. Actually, I was quite pleased as he had only bought things which were half price. But I had to reprimand him for buying 3 bags for 15p - they were only half full. That's why I ask - it wouldn't have even occurred to me to mind about this before!!! And I am actually really excited about looking at our bank accounts, going through payments and seeing what we can cut. I feel so motivated and wondered if this is really typical for the first couple of days and will then ebb away.

lynnejk

Forward_thinking wrote: »

Thanks everyone. Good points. M4rc - you made me laugh out loud about saving 25k - on reading 60k over 25 years I was no longer laughing but shocked. That is a huge amount. Still working on hubby with this one - will see how it goes on Sunday and then probably cancel next week. Will feel bad as she is now a family friend but we'll cope.

Turns out the medical care isn't cancelled yet - still down to £300 from £600 but it needs to go. I'm hanging on again. Still lost all the pre-existing history after reducing so know it doesn't have the same hold over us any more. Mustering up the strength on that one.

Two questions for you - does your partner read this thread? I was wondering if it would be good for husband to read this but wondering if it would be better to have somewhere to vent.

My other question is: does this saving lark get completely addictive or is it just because I am really fired up at the moment. I ask because I was really looking forward to husband getting home so I could check his bags. Actually, I was quite pleased as he had only bought things which were half price. But I had to reprimand him for buying 3 bags for 15p - they were only half full. That's why I ask - it wouldn't have even occurred to me to mind about this before!!! And I am actually really excited about looking at our bank accounts, going through payments and seeing what we can cut. I feel so motivated and wondered if this is really typical for the first couple of days and will then ebb away.

Firstly I would say to keep this thread as your own space. That way you will feel that you can sound things out without your OH hovering and get some space to vent when things go wrong - as they will but hope only small things


Secondly, it will become addictive in a way. As I said earlier, if you keep noting down your savings and reduction in debt that will feed your determination to get to your destination. Also, have a look at the other threads and join a couple for some support and particular advice, such as the ones I mentioned earlier. I have found it really helpful over the last couple of years.


When you have sorted an initial budget for things maybe you could put some of them on your signature and see how things are progressing by updating them every day.


I am wishing you all the best on your 'journey' and it's fantastic to see how far you seem to have progressed already. Now it's down to business eh
Lx

m4rc

It does get addictive, but I think it's a good habit to have. After a while once the big changes are made it gets harder to save, so you have to get smarter. You find yourself questioning every purchase, click, order, account, everything. In the shops you look in sections you wouldn't usually, you find yourself researching the times they reduce food. That might sound cheap, but the bargains you can get are ridiculous. Tesco do a chocolate cheesecake I love, but it's something stupid like a tenner, one of their luxury things, covered in gold, its so nice but I couldn't justify it (a friend had one at a dinner party). However they don't sell out sometimes and they are short dated anyway, I have managed to get one for 50p before, thouh usually around a pound. It's like winning the lottery!

Sad eh...

It does become harder to save money but it's a good feeling when you can get a bit off, a discount, find a bargain, those things never go away. Voucher codes when using online stores, cash back rewards, all sorts of things. I don't do as much as I could as I'm pretty busy, but I do enjoy knowing that our lives cost a lot less than they did, and that companies don't make much profit from us these days.

You might annoy your husband so it would be good to get him interested. Ultimately there must be things he loves, wants, enjoys, there is absolutely no reason why he can't have some of those things, maybe even things he couldn't previously justify, if you can make big changes in other areas. Save money on wasteful stuff you don't really want or need, and by all means once you are in a better financial position and happy with it all spend money on stuff you want but don't really need. Happiness is the most important thing, ere is no point having lots of money and being sad and bored. I wanted a really nice home cinema, not like a seperate room, nothing too extravagant but quality stuff, and then a seperate hiding system and turntable. I don't need it, but I can afford it and have stuff I wanted. I'm now after chickens, I tried trying to justify the cost on the eggs saving but that was stupid, they would need to be laying several a day each that I can sell to justify the cost, but it's something I've always wanted, we have the land, the kids want them, so it's something I'm planning. The oldest and youngest want to go to Disneyland and to Lapland to see Santa, we couldn't go as my middle son is disabled and wouldn't even get on the plane, and we couldn't afford it. Now life is different, I'm sending my good lady and the two kids on two dream holidays, I'm staying home with my boy and will feed the chickens while I listen to my music, I'm happy with that.

Of your husband thinks this is a punishment then it's not going to work and could be really damaging, if he really gets it and can see the opportunities he will be picking up a duster and writing the 'sorry' note to the cleaners himself. Same with the kids, it's got to be positive, not a punishment.