Keeping on the straight and narrow. Again.

snozberry

The two things I had listed on ebay sold - yay! I got some things out but I haven't managed to list them yet. I *must* do it tomorrow.

I need to start pushing myself into more money savvy ways. I need to be DF and save, save, save

Payday in 13 days

snozberry

I have had an horrendous week. I had a faint but very positive pregnancy test (yay) but then a couple of days after I began to bleed and all of the symptoms vanished (even my assistant guessed that I was). To make matters even worse the press found out about that horrible thing that happened to me and thought it appropriate to contact me at work to ask for a comment. I didn't. I wasn't in a fit state to deal with the call if truth be told.

I'll be ok. I didn't do anything daft and dip into my OD. I did order more sticks on Amaz0n so there is a bit of debt on my CC which will soon be gone.

I'm just seeing it as another £500 saved and another month to declutter the house. I have listed three more bundles on eb@y and I will list a few more this weekend. My son will have a sibling.

snozberry

Payday tomorrow - hurrah! I also sold a few more things on eb@y which is good. I need to list a few more things which I will do later in the week.

Student L0ans are still garnishing my wage despite the damn thing being paid off and them supposedly putting a stop on the payments. I will have to post a strongly worded letter with all of the supporting evidence in the week. They must owe me around £500 now - the rotters.

Lunches and snacks have been made for the week so there is no excuse for a sly trip to the sandwich shop.

snozberry

You know something, I have really lost my way. I need to get back on the straight and narrow. I need to do what I am good at: picking myself up and dusting myself down. I need some accountability in my life and some get up and go. Some va va vroom if you like!

In a nutshell:

The dreaded BL has gone. Hurrah!

But, I am pretty much living pay day to pay day and my wage is running out before the month does. This is not good.

My mental health is pants. I have no idea how I got through huge chunks of the year. I am not on any medication and I have not been in therapy but the consequences of me being in the wrong place at the wrong time has left an impression. I'm not a recluse or anything and I have had no time off work due to what happened but I just think that I am too hard on myself at times. I still do things and carry on as normal but I feel like a much different person on the inside (more wary esp when driving and being out in the dark)

The results of ^^^ has resulted in me realising that I am a very lonely cookie indeed as those people who I thought had my best interests at heart clearly don't. I have consequently stopped doing all of the running around where certain friendships are concerned. If people aren't there for me in my darkest hour then I'm sorry but I'm not going to put a smile on my face and constantly ask how their day was and arrange things! I just keep thinking that I am going to end up being one of those people who you read about in the newspapers - people who died and were undiscovered for months and months. It's very sad and doubtful I know but ...

ANYWAY! Being cheerful, my little boy is an absolute delight. Still not preggo though! We are now on the two week wait and I will be going to the doctors if we have no joy this time. My son has speech delay and we have a private speech therapist who works with us weekly. We also have an NHS therapist but having to wait 8 weeks inbetween appointments isn't good enough.

My goals of wanting to be more active on MSE:

+ I want my CC debt to be banished once and for all.
+ To be better with my money
+ To feel happier within my self
+ To feel as though I used to.
+ To be more organised.

snozberry

Goals for the week:
1. Minimum of 4NSDs
2. Take a packed lunch at least three times (<- a problem area of mine)
3. Complete sorting out of toys and Xmas decorations
4. List at least three things on eb@y or faceb00k
5. (except tonight!) plenty of early nights

snozberry

Had to buy petrol on the way back into work this morning as I only had about 16 miles left in the tank eek!

I was good and took a packed lunch in for my dinner. Annoyingly a winning ebayer asked me to cancel her order so I have relisted it. Fingers crossed that it sells again.

FlacosFloozie

Hey, snozberry

I don't know if you remember me, but you were really encouraging when I first joined MSE. I've also been struggling this year, nothing as dramatic as your experience just an accumulation of things that have impacted my mental state. I think 2016 has been a tough year for a lot of folks. I hope 2017 is better.
Anyway, just wanted to stop by and say hello and well done on getting rid of the loan xx

snozberry

FlacosFloozie wrote: »

Hey, snozberry

I don't know if you remember me, but you were really encouraging when I first joined MSE. I've also been struggling this year, nothing as dramatic as your experience just an accumulation of things that have impacted my mental state. I think 2016 has been a tough year for a lot of folks. I hope 2017 is better.
Anyway, just wanted to stop by and say hello and well done on getting rid of the loan xx

Hello! Yes, I do remember you. 2016 has been a horrible year and I will be glad to see the back of it. Thank-you and good luck on your journey. You will get there

snozberry

No more work for two weeks!!!!!! Yayyy!!! I am bl00dy b0ll0xed!

I have halved my savings account and cleared my OD and CC. I didn't feel very happy about this but I just reminded myself that I have £980 more in there than I did when my no good ex left me one Christmas. Oh yes, they were the days; £20 to my name and up to my eyeballs in debt. All alone and no one to turn to as well.

I can learn! I can keep on the straight and narrow!!! I am hoping that I get paid tomorrow. My plan is to aim to live on half of my wage. I don't need to pay for my son's therapy sessions as his therapist is going away for a few weeks and we are part way through a block of prepaid sessions. My OH will be paying for the next block so this means that I will have two months worth of wages before it will be my turn to pay.

I also referred myself for CBT. I tried twice over the course of the year but I kept telling myself that I will be ok. They seemed really nice on the phone and think that I have PTSD and will be giving me an appointment in the next few weeks. This is great. It means that I am on the up.

snozberry

I really hope that I can stick to my goals next year. As it stands, I only have the equivalent of one months wage tucked away in the bank which means that if the !!!! hits the fan I can only manage for 31 days. 31 days!!!!

I have to be strong.

I made a sale on an fb selling page this morning and transfered the £30 that I had in my PayPal account to one that I barely use. Out of sight, out of mind as they say!