Girlfriend's pregnant...

missbiggles1

Celifein wrote: »

As I said a couple of posts earlier, unless the girl is a lizard, the OP was involved in both a decision and an action that led to the pregnancy and is equally responsible for any consequences.

But it's her decision to continue with the pregnancy, he has no say in that .

Guest101

Bastiat wrote: »

This is such a ridiculous post. The condom is 98% effective, the pill 99%. Combine both and you'll have more chance of getting run over by a truck.

So 1 in 5000?


there's 60mil people in the UK, let's say half are regularly sexually active, so 30mi, we'll knock of 6mil (20% seems a fair proportion) for people unable to conceive, LGBT relationships, etc.


So 12mil couples, lets knock off another (lets say half use both the prescribed methods), 6mil left.


Average sexual encounters are twice a week for couples, some less, so we'll knock it down to 10mil sexual liaisons per week. - That's 2,000 unexpected pregnancies per week!


Now you can argue my numbers and say I'm 90% wrong, that's still 200 per week.

missbiggles1

Celifein wrote: »

So 2 in 100 chance using a condom, 1 in 100 chance using the Pill, so...1 in 5000 chance if using both? You've reduced the risk, but it's still not impossible. The only way to be sure is to avoid sex or to have someone's reproductive capability completely removed. If you're both fertile, you need to be prepared for the fact that no method of contraception (including doubling up) is perfect. I don't see what's ridiculous about recognising the potential consequences before you decide to do something.

When I cross a road, I do what I can to reduce the risk of being hit by a truck. I look both ways, I try not to cross near blind corners or big dips in the road, etc. At some point I decide that I've taken all possible precautions and the advantages of being able to cross roads outweighs the risk of being hit by a truck. It's the same with sex. You know there's a risk of pregnancy, but you take precautions and reduce the risk to the point where you're comfortable to doing it. You should still be prepared for the fact that you might be that 1 in 5000.

Like many people, you don't understand the way statistics on contraception failure work.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

But it's her decision to continue with the pregnancy, he has no say in that .

But he did have a say in the conception!


Imagine if there was no 9 month wait. Just a simple % chance of pregnancy, low as it might be.


The argument seems to be that he should have a say because there's time for her to abort. But she wouldn't have that time if he'd kept his trousers up.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Like many people, you don't understand the way statistics on contraception failure work.

Statistics are logical, mathematical. Doesn't matter if it's conception or the chances of winning the lottery. Those are the stats.


Just because you might say 'it wont happen to me'...

missbiggles1

Guest101 wrote: »

So 1 in 5000?


there's 60mil people in the UK, let's say half are regularly sexually active, so 30mi, we'll knock of 6mil (20% seems a fair proportion) for people unable to conceive, LGBT relationships, etc.


So 12mil couples, lets knock off another (lets say half use both the prescribed methods), 6mil left.


Average sexual encounters are twice a week for couples, some less, so we'll knock it down to 10mil sexual liaisons per week. - That's 2,000 unexpected pregnancies per week!


Now you can argue my numbers and say I'm 90% wrong, that's still 200 per week.

See my answer above as you're someone else who doesn't understand the statistics.

Guest101

missbiggles1 wrote: »

See my answer above as you're someone else who doesn't understand the statistics.

Fancy offering an explanation of your blanket statement?


P.S the stats are rather simple.


The average couple would have a condom failure twice a year, the timing of that failure could therefore leads to pregnancy (which is why I said knock off 90% of my stats if you wish to dispute it). The pill is 99% effective, as there is a small chance that it would fail - 1%


if the condom failed and the pill failed (1 in 5000 on any given occasion) there is a chance that the egg would become fertilised (cycle depending).


The chances of it happening to a particular couple are obviously very slim, the chances of it happening across a whole nation, increased significantly.

mimi1234

OP - your girlfriend needs to go and see the Council. Both the Housing department and Social Services will be able to give her advice and support.

They would try and mediate for her to go back to her Mom and Dad's. If she is 17 and pregnant, she will need a lot of support and who better than her parents to give her that help.

If you go down the Private Sector route, go and seek advice as someone from the Housing department will be able to sit down with you and discuss your options. They will be able to inform you of any housing benefits / local housing allowance you might be able to claim etc.

Also, try and google Housing Associations in your area as they may have properties available also.

Good luck.

Mrs_pbradley936

Leaving aside the stats and the rights and the wrongs - it all comes down to the woman being stuck with the child if the man wants to walk. It was ever thus.

My son was in the position of knowing that a severely disabled baby was due and him wanting a termination but his girlfriend wanting to keep the child. He had no legal rights over the decision but does have financial responsibility now that she is here. I suppose he could have denied she was his but he never would have done that!

Anyway, we now live in a world where this young woman will be housed courtesy of the tax payer regardless of whether said tax payer agrees with the idea.

Jhoney_2

missbiggles1 wrote: »

But it's her decision to continue with the pregnancy, he has no say in that .

I hope OP was able to have a say in terms of his opinion etc.

Obviously, he cannot make a unilateral decision regarding having the baby - which given it's her body that's involved, is as it should be.