Frump to Fab 2016 - Lets make it AWESOME!!!

indiepanda

lessonlearned wrote: »

Indie....couldn't read and run. Just wanted to send you a great big hug. I'm sorry you are so upset but yes I can see perfectly well why it would shake you so much.

As for the weight and not feeling fab........let's save that for 2017. A new year, a fresh start and I agree a new way of living and doing things.

I am soooo on board with that.

Let's make 2017 the year we knuckle down, make both the health and lifestyle changes we need.

We can explore ways and means and share this journey.

Thanks LL, yes onwards and upwards, new year, new start. I've just booked myself a nutrition consultation for the new year with someone whose books I've read and blog posts really resonate with me - I reckon I need to take support where I can find it!

Hope you get a chance to catch up on your sleep soon. I've got into that cycle of being so stressed I can't sleep but need sleep more than anything else and I remember how hard it can be to break it. Look after yourself as much as you can - hopefully food will make you feel better, low blood sugar can make me feel dreadful and things always seem worse when I am lightheaded like that.

Unfortunately I always seem to choose the worst things to eat when I am super stressed - it's like I can't deal with the difficult emotions so I go for making myself feel physically bad as that's easier to cope with. Not as extreme as cutting oneself when feeling bad, but still a form of self harm.

indiepanda

maman wrote: »

Some very thoughtful posts indie. Amid all the hustle and bustle of Christmas it is also a time for reflection. What you don't know is how your ex's relationship with the new partner will work out. Maybe he has found 'the one' but maybe he's just keeping on trying.


You've seemed a lot happier since you've been single. I'm not saying you shouldn't consider a new relationship but, as you said, do things differently. Are there mixed walking groups/holidays you could consider?


I feel your pain with the horrors of the changing room. It's not just the mirrors it's the lighting and I often look pale and pasty. I've weighed today and gained 3.5lbs:eek:. so feeling fed up. I know it's party food that's done it but going into this week it's going to be hard to lose it straight away without forgoing Christmas treats.:

Yes, I often get a bit reflective this time of year. It's not been a bad year, tons of nice travel and have made some new friends. But in dark moments it's easier to focus on the things that didn't go so well.

My hiking trips with my social club are mixed sex, but I have been wondering if I should be trying some other groups as they are mostly older than me, and though that isn't an issue for friendship, for a relationship I would prefer someone closer to me in age.

I did try one of the ramblers groups for 35-55 year olds, but I think the majority of the members are more like 55+ - suspect the younger ones have stayed in the up to 40s section. Might need to try one of the hiking meet up groups instead - there's one that does some hiking and yoga trips which sounds fun - although I suppose that's liable to appeal more to other women! I know some men that do yoga, but they are always the minority.

I agree about the lighting making one look pale and pasty. I felt every bit my age and more looking in the mirror yesterday, horrible.

Christmas treats are so hard to resist. One bonus of going to family for celebrations is i don't have much of an excuse to fill my house up with them, but I have indulged in a few bits in a moment of weakness. Still, they won't last long so will just have to resist getting more - fill the fridge with some nice healthier things on the 24th so when I get home on Boxing day there isn't too much temptation around.

mummy2threeboys

indiepanda
I love hiking, and geocaching , I have met loads of people many youngerish ones , Are you near Kent? Theres a fab facebook group called Geocaching in Kent and walking for pleasure (Although that is nationwide) They do events.
What about a Book club , lots of libraries run them. I'm one of those people who loves being alone , (hard with a family of 5 lol) so If I ended up single I would probobly stay that way , because I rarely socialise, It must be very hard. My mother has been single for almost 30 years apart from a couple of duff relationships. She used to be fine about it, but I can tell now underneath her "What do I need a useless man" exterior. She is getting more and more lonely. My elder brother has very severe complex additional needs and she firmly believes that problem alone is enough to send anyone running , and it has done many a time (Even for me , because boyfriends of mine didn't understand the level of care he needs).
Personally Her issues are deeper than that she has a very anti men personality, again entrenched from years of abuse and neglect..which she ended up following suit with my father. I'm eternally greatful I didn't fall into that trap.
Sorry for my long ramblings (pardon the pun!) I don't often pour my feelings out to real people. Sometimes it's easier to chat away to random strangers x

So I have had severe depression for many years and it is slowly lifting , No medication for 2 years. Alas I look and feel horrific and dress like compo, meets old bag lady. Thanks to this group I was spurred on.
I cut my toenails, angle grinded the hard skin off , shaved my toes (Yuk) and polished and moisterised.
Cut my hair (Can't afford haircuts) using a you tube method..and dyed it bright red.
And got some fake tan and applied ..i'm currently a light shade of wotsits..hope it tones down a little before christmas day.

Have a good day all. xx

indiepanda

mummy2threeboys wrote: »

indiepanda
I love hiking, and geocaching , I have met loads of people many youngerish ones , Are you near Kent? Theres a fab facebook group called Geocaching in Kent and walking for pleasure (Although that is nationwide) They do events.
What about a Book club , lots of libraries run them. I'm one of those people who loves being alone , (hard with a family of 5 lol) so If I ended up single I would probobly stay that way , because I rarely socialise, It must be very hard. My mother has been single for almost 30 years apart from a couple of duff relationships. She used to be fine about it, but I can tell now underneath her "What do I need a useless man" exterior. She is getting more and more lonely. My elder brother has very severe complex additional needs and she firmly believes that problem alone is enough to send anyone running , and it has done many a time (Even for me , because boyfriends of mine didn't understand the level of care he needs).
Personally Her issues are deeper than that she has a very anti men personality, again entrenched from years of abuse and neglect..which she ended up following suit with my father. I'm eternally greatful I didn't fall into that trap.
Sorry for my long ramblings (pardon the pun!) I don't often pour my feelings out to real people. Sometimes it's easier to chat away to random strangers x

So I have had severe depression for many years and it is slowly lifting , No medication for 2 years. Alas I look and feel horrific and dress like compo, meets old bag lady. Thanks to this group I was spurred on.
I cut my toenails, angle grinded the hard skin off , shaved my toes (Yuk) and polished and moisterised.
Cut my hair (Can't afford haircuts) using a you tube method..and dyed it bright red.
And got some fake tan and applied ..i'm currently a light shade of wotsits..hope it tones down a little before christmas day.

Have a good day all. xx

I haven't tried geocaching, though one of the women on my last overseas trip has us looking for one in a church yard a bit off the main path of the Camino. Am SE London so Kent is doable for day walks so might have to give that a try.

Am planning to do some salsa lessons in the new year, have dabbled a bit years ago and enjoyed and I would love to go to Cuba on holiday but feel it would be a shame if I couldn't fully enjoy the experience of going to a club there without being able to throw myself into the dancing with some degree of skill. A friend of mine is planning to join me, although I suspect given how busy she is at work I might have to assume I will be there on my own and then see it as a bonus if she joins me.

To be honest, my issue isn't lack of social life - I have lots of friends. It's just the groups I hang out with tend to be female dominated and even when there are guys, if they end up with one of the girls in the group, it's not me they notice. Not that I am hugely unattractive, but my lack of confidence in my looks, mainly driven by weight, I think means most guys just don't see me as more than a friendly sort. Although if I try online dating I seem to get plenty of guys that like a fuller figure - but the ones like that seem to be all chasing cheap thrills not a girlfriend.

I guess if I want to attract a slim and fit hiker I need to be a slim and fit hiker... I am a hiker, but as for the rest of it.... not so much!

Sorry to hear you have been suffering from depression, but glad to hear it is starting to lift and you are taking more of an interest in your appearance. Amused by your description of your fake tan. I have some which I have got as free gifts on magazines etc, but I rarely use, so of course when I do it never quite goes to plan. End up looking like a tiger... orange and stripey.

It must be so hard on your mum having to look after an adult and having no one to look after her. You have done very well not to repeat the pattern of letting abusive people into your life, it's so common for children who have grown up in abusive families to end up repeating the pattern.

Right, must dash, got the delights of a routine smear test at the doctors to look forward to this morning, then going into town hunting for a fancy dress outfit for new years eve.

Have a fab Friday all x

maman

indiepanda wrote: »

I
I guess if I want to attract a slim and fit hiker I need to be a slim and fit hiker... I am a hiker, but as for the rest of it.... not so much!

:rotfl:

indiepanda wrote: »

I've just booked myself a nutrition consultation for the new year with someone whose books I've read and blog posts really resonate with me - I reckon I need to take support where I can find it!

I know I eulogise about Slimming World but it probably could be any healthy eating plan, it's the support and structure that matters. There's nothing magic about how I lost weight SW just helps focus on the optimum balance between food groups we should be having and keeps treats at treat status not everyday eating. Seeing improving your eating as a project helped me and I hope it does you.


Mummy23, sounds like you've taken instant action to get started on fabbing. Well done you!:T What's also good about it is that while you're pampering you'll have some time to yourself. Great idea to sort your feet out now rather than wait until summer.


I'm getting excited about resolutions for 2017. I don't have any formed yet but it feels like such a time of promise.:)


I'm browsing on here while procrastinating about the ironing:o. I must get that done today and a few mince pies made for DH.

sugarbaby125

Hello Ladies,

LL thinking of you again. Please try to take care of yourself when you are busy doing so much running around because your Father is fading so fast. You need to have the energy to cope with all of the issues surrounding your Father. I know it is hard to eat when you have no appetite, but you need to try to eat a balanced diet at the moment.

I did not have to think much about whether to allow Wayne to join us for Christmas Day and the answer was no. I did not feel it would be at all appropriate for him to meet my live at home son and daughter at such an important family time. When I broached the subject with my daughter she was having none of it. They have both known about Wayne from day one and are happy to accept him, but do not want the 1st meeting with Wayne to be in their home. They prefer to have a meal in a restaurant for the 1st meeting, so that the setting is neutral.

I am so, so tired, but I still have a few errands to run today and tomorrow. My Tesco Christmas shop is being delivered tomorrow between 7am and 8am. I am going to wrap the very last of the Christmas presents tomorrow, as the last of them arrived through the post today.

I am going to spend the evening and night with Wayne in a local hotel. I am looking forward to spending time with him, before concentrating on having a lovely family Christmas.

indiepanda

maman wrote: »

I know I eulogise about Slimming World but it probably could be any healthy eating plan, it's the support and structure that matters. There's nothing magic about how I lost weight SW just helps focus on the optimum balance between food groups we should be having and keeps treats at treat status not everyday eating. Seeing improving your eating as a project helped me and I hope it does you.

Yes, I think you are right about structure and support. I am not much cop at sticking to things on my own. I read a really interesting book about habits by Gretchen Ruben called "Better than Before" and she says people can be split into 4 types according to how they respond to inner and outer expectations -
- rebels, who as the name suggests where ever the expectations come from tend to rebel,
- upholders who can stick to any expectation,
- questioners who will only do what they think is important, so inner expectations fine, outer only if they are sensible enough to be adopted as an inner
- obligers who always deliver for others but let themselves down.

The most common group is obligers and they are the least satisfied with their lot as they know they can deliver and they feel like they are always doing so for others and rarely for themselves. I am definitely an obliger, and her view is goals only get achieved by obligers if they have some form of external accountability - e.g. working out with a trainer and so forth.

I did try weight watchers before but I didn't get on with it - hated the way they were always trying to sell you their low calorie sweeties etc. - crammed full of unhealthy stuff like aspartame. But I do need some sort of structure for sure. The nutritionist is offering some sort of web based program that I need to look into - online support etc.

lessonlearned

Hello everyone.

I had a straight 10 hour sleep last night, so feel much brighter today.

Just having a Lazy five minutes......I should be doing all sorts of things......but no its time for a rest first and a cuddle with the cat. The cat has insisted......he has plonked himself on my knee and I'm a prisoner.....;)

Indie.......Cuba is on my go to list too, but like you I want to be both slim and a proficient dancer before I go. I want to join some Latin American dance classes in the new year, but need to get a bit fitter first.

MAman......I have already decided to give slimming world a whirl in the new year. I am sure I can still work in my paleo way of eating but I think I need the regular weigh ins and encouragement and support that a class can give......plus it's a way of meeting new people.

Mummyofthree. I am not a trained psychologist but yes I agree you can sometimes see history repeating itself in some families.

My sister married a man Who is exactly like our father.......I didn't. When I observe my sister and her husband I can see the old familar patterns repeating themselves - it's like watching an old movie of my mum and dad. I sometimes hear my BIL talk to my niece and I am horrified........it's like my father talking to me.

It's ghastly but my sister can't or won't see it.

Actually it makes my blood boil but obviously I can't intervene. It's her choice. But it does make me angry because it's my niece who suffers as a result.

I guess some people are just not cut out to be parents.......they might be decent people in themselves but they do screw up their kids.

lessonlearned

Indie.....I saw a nutrionist about a year ago. It was a very useful exercise and I learned a great deal. My GERD and IBS are now well under control and I've never felt better.

Ordinarily a period of stress like the one I'm going through would have floored me but my stomach is just fine.

I do feel that I've come a long way this year, just need to lose weight and get fit now.

lessonlearned

In case I don't get another chance.......

a Very Merry Christmas to all.

See you all after........

Xx