Bankruptcy....WHY NOT??!

biglad

What wes should all remember is that everyone thinks different and has a different situation

I have no house or assets apart from my beloved push bike lol. but i have gone against the idea of bankruptcy, for a few reasons. the main being i needed to learn a lesson in life myself, i had spent the money and got into a bad situation and if it had just been written off i would have maybe got into that stuation myself.

My father is nearly 50 and is still fighting debts, i dont want to be like him, i have made a decision that i will never get credit again or borrow money, apart from a mortgage. at the rate im going by the time im 28 i should be debt free

another reason is that we want our own house and children, and i am seeing my DMP payments as what it is going to cost us for our child and house, so im getting used to it now

I had a not such a big debt (20kish) whereas some people have 100k plus and will be paying it off the rest of their life, i think my actions may have been slightly different if i had the higher amount

and the final thing is a pride thing, personally i spent it, so i will repay it. but as i said, everyone is different

philnicandamy

I agree & appreciate all of whats been said here, sure you can all be applauded for tacking your debts without the BR route but at the end of the day if you can't afford to tackle your debt due to Ill health changes in circumstances etc £1 owed might as well be £10000000 if you've not got the cash to pay it back...everyone is different but what we should not forget is the whole idea of this site & many others is to offer SUPPORT and non judgemental advice when needed, I think at the end of the day as others have said going down the BR route leaves you emotions all over the place & the feelings of faliure etc don't end...its not the easy way some people make out & it's not for everyone as others have said... I found myself being forced away from posting in the past with peoples comments but felt I needed to say something here, at the end of the day the OP was expressing his feelings about BR and wanted to share the relief with everyone...think it was just very mis understood

so please people have a nice day & play nice eh?

wisbech_lad

DEBTMONKEY1A wrote: »

Hi.....as stated did not want to cause problems but statements such as the below 'it gives moral uplift, many people feel that they are fighting for their honour, so it gives more dignity and self respect to people'and 'Sufferring in general is good for people. Of course not major one like death or illness of yourself and loved ones. But small suffering is good.
- it makes you feel the pleasures of life much more. Just try to starve for 1 day. Next day even the most boring food would taste delicious.
-Suffering makes people better (wiser and kinder). You understand your mistakes and you can forgive others for their mistakes. When you know from your experience that life is hard you have more sympathy for others.

Parodoxically but suffering is actually the road to happiness! That's why people's instincts point them in DFW direction (rather than BR). DFW way looks like misery but actually it is quite the opposite...It's the road to Oz.'

Can't get my head around this?? It's exactly my point-WHY suffer?? Again I stress that BR ain't for all (especvially if lots of equity, kids, houses are in the mix)...but in my opinion if you have little/no disposable income, little/no equity in your house (or you rent), no big flash cars/posessions then it's a quick & easy (I do not use this word lightly-I mean the process is easy) way to have afresh start.

I take it you are not religious? Ramadan starts soon, and all Muslims will fast from sunrise to sunset (including no water, not just no food) In Lent, Christians are meant to have a semi-fast. Buddhists teach that all earthly sorrows and delights are two sides of the same coin, and have tradition of fasting/ meditating - in Thailand for example almost everyone spends a few months of their life (usually after finishing school) as a monk or nun - living simply, and in fact having to beg every day for their food.

There was a great reality TV series of a monastery where people even deprive themselves of speech. Many Hindu's go on pilgrimages, or even become wandering beggars when they get old, in extreme cases

I am not religious, but going without teaches you that you can go without, that greed fulfilled is a fleeting pleasure, and make you appreciate the times when you are "with" even more. I spent a year of my life on the breadline, it was one of the best years of my life, and it taught me that money and possessions do not equal happiness. Conversely, worrying about money is a source of unhappiness! Luckily I was young (17) at the time. I wouldn't want to have spent ten years living beyond my means, and then make that discovery.

My father, near the end of his life now, still looks back on his time in the Army, as a national serviceman, with almost nothing, as a great time in his life too

Your view may vary! But almost all religions, and my own experience, indicate that abstinence is, paradoxically, an important ingredient of happiness.

Dr_Hook

I'm not sure I'd liken trying to pay back my debts to a holy pilgrimage, but I do agree that it is character building. I'm learning new habits & ways of thinking that I'm sure will stay with me for the rest of my life, and I'm also learning a lot about myself & how much I can achieve if I put my mind to it - to the point where (in an oblique, twisted way) I'm actually glad of my debt as it's given me the opportunity to do this.

However, like philnicandamy said, not everyone has the luxury of choice - I count myself lucky that I do. My LBM was triggered in no small part by a sudden redundancy earlier this year & I subsequently realised how delicate my situation was and how stretched my finances were. Should something happen with my job again I'm not sure I could carry on repaying my debt and may have to resort to more drastic action.

rog2

Dr_Hook wrote: »

However, like philnicandamy said, not everyone has the luxury of choice.

That, Dr. H, is probably the most important factor in the whole debate. Thank you.

earwig

Being DFW gives:


- it gives moral uplift, many people feel that they are fighting for their honour, so it gives more dignity and self respect to people

belive me my other oh still has dignity and respect for himself and why shoudnt he he went bankrupt not killed someone and as said before choice is something MOST bankrupcty dont have

earwig

and just to add as it makes my blood boil all all of you on dmp are no better than us bankrupct you have not met the condition on your loan cc ect

so when you get the i spent it ill pay it back comments dose this mean you are also paying the intrest on your cc loans as agreed when you took the loans and cc out because if your not than you are in the same boat as us bankrupcts

please dont think you are better than us when you are not we are all the same just trying to do what is best for our famleys us bankrupcty never come on these boards and attack you for not keeping to your credit agreement and going on dmp so why do you feel you can attack us for not keeping to our credit agreements

rog2

earwig wrote: »

and just to add as it makes my blood boil all all of you on dmp are no better than us bankrupct you have not met the condition on your loan cc ect

I appreciate how you feel, earwig, but it's not about 'being on a DMP being better than choosing bankruptcy'.
We've all had to confront our debts, and as you say, for some of us the choice is simply not available. It does not make any of us a better, or worse, person. That's what this board is all about.

Annie_Fanny

"Originally Posted by DEBTMONKEY1A

Hi-Did not for one minute want to cause problems-I try & help a lot of people on the other board-I just see some posts where people could quite obviously (given the right advice & again I stress not for all) go BR & not have all the heartaches/hassle & stress. After all-the BR procedure is a legal way to clear your debts if you can't afford them.

I can see that the perceived 'stigma' of BR & the good old 'british upper lip/pride/martyr' thing is stopping some people from making a fresh start-that's all. Why struggle when in many cases BR can end the pain? Last post on this-I genuinely think BR is an option that should be considered-rather than 'scrimping' for years, possibly making yourself mentally ill in the process-just to say 'I've paid it all back'. Lifes too short.

My life is SO much better-I don't have the worries I had 2 months ago & in a few months once discharged I can start my life again."


Debtmonkey1A I absolutely support you in your decision. I think the issue here though is the way in which YOU view the DFW route. Lets have a look at the language you use to describe it:

Heartache/hassles & stress
martyr
pride
stiff upper lip
pain
scrimping

I think it is all about mental perception. Rather than 'scrimping' I view it as learning valuable money management skills, e.g. learning where to buy things cheaper, being able to say to friends 'no I can't go out tonight I can't afford it' and feeling strong in that decision. I cycle to work and sometimes get comments about why haven't I got a car. I tell them because I can't afford it - then I look around and see people on the same wage with a car on hp, flash mobile phone, great clothes etc etc etc and I don't say anything but I wonder how do they manage?

"making yourself mentally ill in the process-just to say 'I've paid it all back'"

I can honestly say that the process of paying back every single penny of my debt, far from making me mentally ill - it was the debt that made me feel sad NOT the positive action of paying it back, has left me with an amazing feeling of satisfaction and pride in myself. I have learnt a huge amount about financial management and I am much more prepared to deal with the rest of my financial life - that is a fantastic outcome!

Hope that makes sense!

Annie

earwig

rog2 wrote: »

I appreciate how you feel, earwig, but it's not about 'being on a DMP being better than choosing bankruptcy'.
We've all had to confront our debts, and as you say, for some of us the choice is simply not available. It does not make any of us a better, or worse, person. That's what this board is all about.

hi rog
that is my point no one is better than anyone on any of these boards but you do get some who are on a dmp trying to lord it over poeple who have gone bankrupct

to them we are the scum of the world who took out debt had no intension of paying it back and went bust like it the easy thing to do where in fact most of us had ever intension of paying our debt back but we just couldnt do it through no fault of our own and thats what makes me mad

you only have to read the first to replys to the op to see what i mean about some peoples reaction to bankrupcty where you never get that kind of reply to some saying about going on a dmp and at the end of the day there pretty much the same thing we both defaulted on our credit agrements