Bankruptcy....WHY NOT??!

livinginhope

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I have to say though that if I lost everything in a house fire (or house collapse) and had 100k in debt and it wasn't my fault, then I'd find it difficult to feel morally obliged to pay it all back over the course of several decades. In this case, I'm with the OP - I really don't understand why anyone would choose so long a term of financial misery.

*DD now walks, well, runs from the battlefield in a staggering display of cowardice*

Hi DD,could I just say,I don't feel morally obliged to pay the debt back,I just want to keep the house we all love so much,we all went through a very difficult time coming to terms with the fire,the children had many hours of councelling before they could even set foot inside again,I had many a night waking up in hot sweats remembering all of the events that evening,the struggle to get out alive,the trying to get the children from under their beds where they were hiding shaking and screaming,how we got out I will never know,but we did.Moving back in after the fire was just as traumatic as the actual event itself,BUT the main thing was,the children knew the house was now safer than any other,a brand new boiler,new electrics all certified,we felt safe,the house we had to rent was brand new,yet the electrics were dodgy,we had sparking lights! none of us felt safe.Now we are settled here again,we all feel 100% safe,we have alarms everywhere,to move from here would be the worst thing for us all.
Paying this debt back is NOTHING to do with 'I spent it,I will pay it back' it is purely the ONLY way to keep our house.We are not at the mercy of this debt,financially,we are the richest we have ever been,we have more disposable income now than ever before,so I don't care about being on a DMP for the rest of our lives,after all our troubles,we live for today,it could all be over tomorrow.
LIH

PixiePie

spud30 wrote: »

Do you know, I dont think any of us would dream of coming onto the Bankruptcy Board and start questioning your decisions or circumstances.

I just wonder why you feel the need to do that to us

I'm really sorry, initially I didn't want to weigh in on this thread as I don't want to stir things up (and I'm not generally good at saying things online that are understood the way they are meant) but this just isn't true. Time and again someone with a high post count from the DFW board comes onto the BR board and starts telling us how evil we are/morally corrupt/stupid/etc etc, without knowing the reasons for our debt, or why we cannot pay it back.

Whatever your choice is, it's your choice and as long as you are not hurting people (and I mean real people, not faceless corporations), then it's the best choice for you whether that is BR or DMP or whatever. I don't think anyone is in a position to disapprove of others choices on here, after all what (and these are random names btw) Spud, living in hope or Desperate Dad does with their situation and how they best deal with it is, at the end of the day, of as much consequence to how my life pans out as whether they have chips for dinner or not. Imho I don't think the OP was being disapproving for what it's worth, I read it as an interested person wanting to know why people don't go BR...(the why they do is discussed a lot on the BR board you see, so it is interesting to know why people do not take this road).

tigtag02

PixiePie wrote: »

I'm really sorry, initially I didn't want to weigh in on this thread as I don't want to stir things up (and I'm not generally good at saying things online that are understood the way they are meant) but this just isn't true. Time and again someone with a high post count from the DFW board comes onto the BR board and starts telling us how evil we are/morally corrupt/stupid/etc etc, without knowing the reasons for our debt, or why we cannot pay it back.

This is they key word here ~ SOMEONE ~ not the DFW board so please, dont tar us all with the same brush.

I also do not think that the OP came on here to say *Go BR ~ its much better*, he said it worked for him but if a *them vs us* situation was to be avoided then maybe he shouldn’t have posted it at all ~ as spud said we don’t come over there and question your motivations.

All boards have their fair share of troll and regardless to the post count of the *troller* <is that even a word> if its offensive, hit report not jump over to their regular haunt and tell the rest of us we are the same.

As said many times already each individual’s circumstances will dictate a different source of rectification ~ how about we just stick with the ethos of MSE and support everyone?

Respectfully
tigtag

hypno06

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

I have to say though that if I lost everything in a house fire (or house collapse) and had 100k in debt and it wasn't my fault, then I'd find it difficult to feel morally obliged to pay it all back over the course of several decades. In this case, I'm with the OP - I really don't understand why anyone would choose so long a term of financial misery.

*DD now walks, well, runs from the battlefield in a staggering display of cowardice*

Hi there DD, hope you didn't get too puffed out from your run away from the battlefield! Nice to see you about again - don't be a stranger just because you are debt free x

The answer is, I would often love to walk away from the debt that the house from hell created, but I was a stockbroker until 18 months ago, and would have lost my job if I had done so. Although now not working in the city, I have a 3 year "window" during which I can go back, so still cannot burn my bridges with regard to my credit rating etc. In that 3 years, I hope to have repaid the debt anyways, so all will be ok!

PixiePie

tigtag02 wrote: »

This is they key word here ~ SOMEONE ~ not the DFW board so please, dont tar us all with the same brush.

I also do not think that the OP came on here to say *Go BR ~ its much better*, he said it worked for him but if a *them vs us* situation was to be avoided then maybe he shouldn’t have posted it at all ~ as spud said we don’t come over there and question your motivations.

All boards have their fair share of troll and regardless to the post count of the *troller* <is that even a word> if its offensive, hit report not jump over to their regular haunt and tell the rest of us we are the same.

As said many times already each individual’s circumstances will dictate a different source of rectification ~ how about we just stick with the ethos of MSE and support everyone?

Respectfully
tigtag

Sorry if I caused offence - I didn't mean just one person from the DFW board comes and trolls, likewise I didn't man to imply *everyone* from DFW does, I just wanted to point out that DFW board isn't purer than pure and therefore the tit for tat argument is not a valid one. There are many many many supportive and helpful people on both boards, and yes you are right there are always going to be trolls, the problem comes when hitting the report button as you suggest does absolutely and utterly nothing whatsoever it would appear.

I totally agree with your last bit - we should all be supportive of one another no matter what is decided (as I implied in my last post) - the 'say nothing if you can't say something nice' bit of my sig

I still stand by being interested in why people don't go BR, I find it all very interesting in the manner of why people live where they live or what happens during relationships - it's just another dynamic of us all being individuals and thinking with our own brains

I'm really not trying to cause an argument, I just wanted to explain my earlier post as I obviously offended for which I am very sorry for, please accept my apology.

Dithering_Dad

Hi livinginhope & hypno06, thanks for your responses! They were exactly what the debate needed - the OP asked why does everyone not declare themselves bankcrupt if they have huge debts that will takle years to clear and you've both answered the question really well.

Basically, everyone's circumstances are different - that's why we all use different means to get where we're going. Some people declare bankcrupcy because it works for them, some people make cut backs and manage to pay off the debt, or people find new sources of income or better paid jobs to clear their debts.

Who's to say which approach is the best, until you're the person who has to make the choice.

rog2

philnicandamy wrote: »

at the end of the day the word is....choice

Which, as we know, may NOT be available to everybody.

philnicandamy

That was a point I was trying to get across rog but for some reason the post was incorrect & then dissappeared when I tried to edit....aghh!!! technology

pania

earwig wrote: »

hi rog


to them we are the scum of the world who took out debt had no intension of paying it back and went bust like it the easy thing to do where in fact most of us had ever intension of paying our debt back but we just couldnt do it through no fault of our own and thats what makes me mad

easy on earwig! I haven't commented on this discussion before now but you are generalising somewhat here and classing all of us on dmp's as viewing bankrupts as scum!!! my god that could not be further from the truth!

I and many others on this board wholeheartedly and fully support the choices people make of their own free will and if bankruptcy is/was the best option for you then i for one will give you all my support.

I and many other dfw's on dmp's have posted in a supportive vein on other posts you have made, provided advice and had good conversation. Please please remember this and don't make such sweeping statements!:o
P

TS_777

spud30 wrote: »

I actually feel to take the bankruptcy route takes more 'courage' for want of a better word than to go with a DMP.

The whole court process would scare the pants off me to be honest, so fair play to those who have had to go through it.

I agree with spud. It is much more scary to do BR and you need courage for this! When one does DFW one knows what to expect. You tighten your belt, you count the coins, but life generally stays the same and you still holding the rudder of your life (although sometimes it feels more like hanging on to it). But more or less life stays the same.

If one decides to do BR, it looks like an opening of a black steaming abyss.. One doesn't really know what will happen next, who will come knocking at our door. Real possibility of not getting a good income job in the future and being refused for a future mortgage. BR feels like a bungee jump, you hope you will be OK, but you are not 100% sure. Sometimes you are pushed into it or you jump yourself, but either way it is a scary roote that requires lots of guts.

TS 777