Hello Again...

Kitten868

It wasn't a dig. I'd be all over the money straight off the bat. What a !!!!!!. Grrrrrr and typical man lol. What could he even spend £700 a month on? After he's got an Xbox one and eaten pizza every day for a month?
Put your foot down but maybe give it a few days of awe and letting him do a few treats you'll be blowing down your debts in no time X

Abz12

Kitten868 - sorry if you misunderstood my post, I didn't take it as a dig. I appreciate the advice and feel like I can talk openly on here, even more than to my own friends. I am a private person in my day to day life and am embarrassed by my debt. I have put my foot down and said either he pays what I ask (within reason of course) or he has to find a room elsewhere. He doesn't live in the real world.

Feel down today and that is reflected in my eating habits. The whole week has been tough since Monday. I hate failure and have a tendency to relate my spending/eating habits to my emotions. God...this is a financial diary not an emotional one.

On the plus side I have got £2.50 in my top cash back account now. Ordered the cat food like normal but used the website to do it an bam..money for nothing!

Paid £8 towards my halifax card which was the money from eBay. Not much but still something. Total paid off in January £138.. Pay day Monday so think I can stretch to £150. Not bad for the first month. £3,472.66 is outstanding paying interest on £373

Abz12

Hello - not much happening today, other than the usual busy work situation. Finally posted my sisters birthday present and next day delivery costs £8! Have to just swallow this and send it earlier next year.

Have been quite bad with spending money on lunch recently, everyday this week so far. I have promised myself that next week I will have all of my protein shake. Really can't wait to get paid on Monday...£22 left in my account. That reminds me must contact nationwide and find out what happened to my refer a friend £100! This is going straight to the Halifax card. Must go to bank tomorrow to bank the money OH gave me and then transfer this to the card before I spend it. On the plus size I sold something else on eBay!! I hope it starts picking up.

Tonight is full of yoga, bath and bed! So glad tomorrow is Friday...absolutely nothing to do expect study some more and write a list for the things we need when we are moving out. Have made a decision, can't remember if I mentioned this before, we are moving out and being compensated so I have decided to withdraw this money from my rent account and put it on the Halifax and nationwide card. An extra £400 to use to pay down debt.

Abz12

Morning, early bird catches the worm and all that! Off to the post office to post my eBay sell, another £5 towards the pot. Didn't manage to get to the bank yesterday to put the extra money in but will try to save at least half to bank an transfer come Monday.

Had a bit of good news, I got a pay rise!!! Have not shared this information with the OH, I know I probably should, any extra in my monthly salary will go towards the debt. Feel a lot more motivated to get things back on track in Feb with sticking to no spending money on lunch an hardly any expenditure for anything not necessary. Have two friends birthdays in Feb but they are only getting a card this year.

Had another 'discussion' last night about the sharing of the bills. Equal share happens to be £340, I have only asked for £300 from March which is when he will get his full pay. He had the nerve to say he wants his birthday off which is March!!! I said only if I can have mine off! Cheeky #€$*### I'm sticking to my guns as I personally don't think that's too much to ask for. He doesn't want to pay for council tax or water, like he doesn't use any! Not only that one of his dumba$$ friends told him tht he shouldn't have to pay because I would have to pay it if I lived here alone!!!! Men.... Sorry for man bashing but I am amazed. Anyway rant over, I won't let it ruin my weekend but thinking about that £300 would mean I could pay my debt off at about £500 a month and would be debt free in 6 months! Probably sooner as come September I will have an extra £200 when I stop paying for my car. God the end is in sight but he is snatching it away!

Today is some light revision and general cleaning and tidying around. Have a good weekend everyone!

Kitten868

Aaaarrghhh! Does he even think before he opens his mouth?! I'd be careful telling him stuff as he sounds quite a blabber mouth. You don't want his friends to say something about him paying your debts.
In my opinion it's 'your' the both of you's debts. Not you alone. How much are your bills? Halve it including the rent. And add £100 to debts. Make it fair. You've seen him through ill health and not working. You aren't making him back pay for when you took on all the expenses. It's not his credit you've dipped in to. I really don't blame you for putting your foot down. He'll soon get a reality check if he goes off on his own. X

Kitten868

You'll pass that test easy next time no worries on that xxx

Eager_Elephant

Honestly Abz some men never grow up.


I suggest you ask him what he would do if he had his own place - would he ask his landlord or mortgage company not to pay in March as it's his birthday?!!?!


TWIT!!!


Men do mature slower then women and I honestly think it takes them a while to realise about being a grown up and having to pay bills etc.


I agree with Kitten - you are not asking him to back pay for all the months he did not contribute much. I think £300 pm is a bargain.


It doesn't help when he has friends who think they know better - presumably these friends either live with parents or sponge off girlfriends!!

Kitten868

And massive congrats on the pay rise!!! Don't tell him though lol. I'm proud of you focusing negative energy into yoga and feeling better rather than spending x

Abz12

Hello diary - had such a relaxing weekend. Haven't really done much but that's good as minimal money spent before pay day tomorrow!!! Woohoo!!! Got a letter in the post from the exam board and I failed my exam by 2 marks!!!! I can't help but laugh tbh.

Kitten868 - thank you for the advice. Without my car, insurance, pension and other stuff for me it's about £640, so asking him for £300 isn't bad at all in my opinion. I have mentioned the debt payments but he won't even contribute towards council tax so not sure about the debt. As I mentioned before I can afford to pay the bills by myself so his £300 will be going straight on the debt anyway. I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that he is very selfish and maybe I need to adopt the same method. Thank you for the support and confidence for the exam! :-)

EE - it's funny you should say that, when he offered the reduced amount and I asked him the same...shall I just call the housing association and tell them this month I don't feel like paying so they can have £100 instead!!!! :-)

This is probably going to sound like I am making an excuse for him but he has come along way in the last year. I am just grateful he is working and actually leaving the house. At the darkest days of his depression I used to find him passed out after taking God knows what and was afraid to come home in case I found something terrible. He is much more optimistic and positive but I think a few months of him contributing he will understand why he needs to share the costs. When I some home on Friday he told me he is going to get a bus pass instead of catching a taxi to and from work everyday...yes you heard me right!!! £10 a day! And he wonders why he has no money left over to buy things for himself. He is still trying to negotiate but I am sticking to my guns and staying put on the £300. He is due to get a pay rise in April so will push it up slightly then. His friends are mostly idiots, only one has sense and told him to bite my hand off. That's only because he knows how hard it is to live in the real world. Most of his friends still live with their parents so have no idea about responsibility.

First month of debt clearing and I feel quite good about it. I started with overpaying on my nationwide until discovering the interest I was paying on my Halifax card. So the totals are below;

£161.40 - paid on nationwide card. Minus the £25 min payment. Over payments are £146.40. Put my resit on there which was £123. Overpayment after everything was £23.40!!

£138 - paid on halifax card. Paying interest on £511.05 Min payment £45.33. Over payments are £92.67.

New balances wef 24/1/16 :

Car - £1,476.24
Nationwide - £1,420.15
Halifax - £3,464.66
Family - £150

Min payments on everything this month except Halifax. No council tax plus my nationwide refer a friend £100. Difference in pay rise money an anything extra will be put on it. Try an get it to at least £3,300. We are moving out this month so it will be difficult but that's my challenge for myself.

Night all

Tjh1412

Just been reading through this, thought I'd post a thanks for giving me some ideas and say well done so far

Totally get what you mean about the awkwardness of not having a financial conversation; atm I don't have any joint finances but considering the boy moving in next year but struggling to think how to approach this from a financial angle. Also, hoping this doesn't sound selfish but I work hard to maintain a good credit rating and so I don't want joint bills etc to jeopardise that, scary times

Good luck with everything and stick to the plan, I'm sure you'll nail the exam next time