Noisy neighbour

catoutthebag

ndi149 wrote: »

it's not about having a nerve, it's about not trying to make a situation which is bad, volatile. Clearly you are not appreciating the situation, but thanks for your advice.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5237276

You need mic, diary & videophone. Rally other neighbours into the cause . Say 5 vs. 1. Get all signatures for a letter.

ndi149

i understand people saying talking is best, but someone who doesn't respond to a letter which politely pointed to the thin walls and ability to hear everything, clearly isn't going to be big on a polite conversation.

Catoutthebag, that is perhaps an idea, as it would be good to make sure she is ok. I believe dad works at nights, so that might be some of the cause of the night time frustration.

ognum

ndi149 wrote: »

i understand people saying talking is best, but someone who doesn't respond to a letter which politely pointed to the thin walls and ability to hear everything, clearly isn't going to be big on a polite conversation.

Catoutthebag, that is perhaps an idea, as it would be good to make sure she is ok. I believe dad works at nights, so that might be some of the cause of the night time frustration.

How would you expect her to respond, if you can't go and talk to her why would she come and talk with you?

MacMickster

ndi149 wrote: »

i understand people saying talking is best, but someone who doesn't respond to a letter which politely pointed to the thin walls and ability to hear everything, clearly isn't going to be big on a polite conversation.

A letter of the type that you sent is a pretty aggressive first contact with a new neighbour. Why was a letter your first attempt at contact, followed by the second letter threatening to report her (to whomever)?

Do you really believe that a child is being abused here? If so, then you need to do something about it NOW - not make recordings over a period of months. If, however, you consider that you are merely listening to a frustrated (if foul-mouthed) mum who is constantly being woken at night herself, then the simplest solution really is for you to move back to the bedroom where you were getting a good night's sleep. It may well be that her daughter is just going through a temporary phase of waking at night, and you risk creating problematic relationships with your neighbour for many years to come.

Your neighbour is far more likely to respond to a bit of empathy - "It must be awful getting woken so often during the night by your daughter. I struggle to cope on the occasions that I get woken" rather than getting the council, social workers etc involved in her life if it really isn't warranted.

It really does sound that you want "someone else" to sort this matter out for you, without ever trying to deal with it in an adult way yourself first.

Davesnave

ognum wrote: »

How would you expect her to respond, if you can't go and talk to her why would she come and talk with you?

Agree.

We always recommend talking in this sort of situation. Of course, it may not be fruitful, but it does allow both sides quick communication.

For example, if the little girl is waking Mum, who needs sleep to function at work, then it would be an ideal question to ask the mother how her shouting waking you is different from that. It's not something she might address herself, no matter how eloquent a letter might be.

poppasmurf_bewdley

I'd be more inclined to report the mother to Social Services for child abuse.

moneyistooshorttomention

ndi149 wrote: »

i understand people saying talking is best, but someone who doesn't respond to a letter which politely pointed to the thin walls and ability to hear everything, clearly isn't going to be big on a polite conversation.

Catoutthebag, that is perhaps an idea, as it would be good to make sure she is ok. I believe dad works at nights, so that might be some of the cause of the night time frustration.

Actually - never mind rallying other neighbours to the cause....

I am actually wondering if the girls father knows his wife/partner is yelling at their child like that. If he works nights and he isn't that sort of person himself - then he might not even know this is happening.

So - my first thought would be to try and figure out if the father of the poor child knows about this. He may do and be the same sort of person himself and the poor kid is lumbered with two parents like this. On the other hand - he may be a decent person and living in ignorance of this.

catoutthebag

Shouting at children in the night is pretty frightening. It is tantamount to mental abuse and poor Freya is probably scarred and scared. I would definitely mention to father.

[Deleted User]

Hi,

if father works nights then he will want some sleep during the day, so house must be quiet then, so maybe not aware of the noise/shouting problems.

catoutthebag

Mother sounds unstable to do it this regularly.